DOWN MEMORY LANE

I graduated from college this spring, 1908, and am eager to get out and conquer the world. For the sake of posterity, I'd like to pass on some basics for this great year.

The simple fact of my graduating from college in and of itself was phenomenal, since two out of every ten U.S. adults cannot read or write and only six percent of all Americans even graduate from… high school.

My nephew was born this spring at home because ninety-five percent of all births take place in the home. The doctor was a good one despite the fact that ninety percent of all U.S. doctors have no college education.

Instead, they attend so-called medical schools, many of which are condemned in the press and the government as "substandard."

He is expected to live until at least 1952 since the average life expectancy in the U.S. today is an amazing forty-seven years.

The five leading causes of death in the U.S. today are pneumonia and influenza, tuberculosis, diarrhea, heart disease and stroke.

Major crime is usually not a factor of death because there were only about 230 reported murders in the entire country last year.

At the store I can usually buy what I need for breakfast for the week with about thirty-five cents since sugar cost four cents a pound, eggs are fourteen cents a dozen and coffee is fifteen cents a pound. Bread is a penny a loaf.

I graduated with an engineering degree and figure I will have no problem finding a decent job this year.
When you consider that the average wage in the U.S. is 22 cents per hour. The average U.S. worker makes between $200 and $400 per year and a competent accountant can expect to earn $2000 per year, a dentist $2,500 per year, a veterinarian between $1,500 and $4,000 per year, and a mechanical engineer about $5,000 per year.

I hope to get a job in the new automobile industry. There are only 8,000 cars in the country right now and only 144 miles of paved roads but everyone is certain that the auto industry is destined for great expansion.

Although, many complain about the speed limit of ten miles-per-hour in town but the Mayor won't budge, says speed scares the horses.

I thought about moving to California or a small town in Nevada called Las Vegas until I found out that the population of Las Vegas was only thirty people and it is in the middle of the desert.

As for California, with a mere 1.4 million people it is 21st in population in the country so jobs there will probably be scarce.

Heck! Alabama, Mississippi, Iowa, and Tennessee are each more heavily populated than California. Not only that, they had a massive earthquake in San Francisco two years ago and hundreds lost their lives.
I even thought about trying the job market in Canada but they just passed a law that prohibits poor people from entering into their country for any reason and I'm not exactly rich. In fact, it cost me the fortune of eleven dollars to call Canada for a three-minute job interview from the phone at the store.

Only about eight percent of homes have phones and mine isn't one of them. Although we do have a bathtub of which we are proud since only about fourteen percent of American homes have one. My mom washes her hair every day in the tub using borax and egg yokes for shampoo.

What else can I tell you about my modern world here in 1908? Let's see… President Roosevelt should be getting the Nobel Peace Prize for helping to settle the war between Japan and Russia.

We have 45 states now with the territories of Arizona and New Mexico soon to be added. The tallest structure in the world is that silly iron tower in Paris they call the Eiffel Tower.

And, here's a big one: Finland has given women the right to vote! Can you imagine that? Women voting! It'll never happen in this country. Next thing you know, they'll want to run for political office.

I can't even imagine what it may be like one hundred years from now in the year 2008 because scientist say that anything worth inventing has already been invented.

There's word that we will be able to fly across the country some day. Those Wright Brothers already proved that flight was possible.

A scientist in Britain says that war is almost obsolete so peace should reign for a hundred years. He says that modern weapons are so devastating that no sane government would even consider war.

I'm going to bury a copy of this in some bank safety deposit box so that my ancestors (if any) will be able to read and publish it in the year 2008.

In the meantime, it's time to go out and find that dream job.

I've been giving a lot of thought to those new moving pictures but everyone says they're only a short-lived fad.

Wish me good luck!