Smoking and Chasing

He broke my nose, and I can barely see through the tears.  They are tears of joy, and they are tears from my body's instinctive action of a blow to the nose.  I can't blame the guy for hitting me, though.  If he saw what I saw, he had to do it.

I saw beauty, and I saw my destiny.  I know my purpose in life now.  I know that I have to live a good life, and beauty will follow.  I have to pay my debts and mend broken friendships.  I have to turn my life around.  I have to forgive but not forget.  I have to get the bag.

I am chasing a guy I just met tonight.  He holds a bag which holds half of an antidote to the poison he and I both have ingested.  He was a little quicker when Charlie put the bag on the table.  Maybe "smarter" is a better word for it.  He hit me as I reached for the bag.  He is fast, though.  I can barely keep up.

There is only enough antidote in that bag for one of us to survive.  Charlie has the other half somewhere.  Why would Charlie want to see one of us die?  He doesn't even care which one of us goes.  It's like this is some sort of sick game.  I'm starting to think that neither one of us will be the winner.  Charlie will be.

I just met Charlie tonight at a bar.  I was sitting on a leather couch watching a basketball game on the bar's TV.  I was minding my own business when Charlie sat down next to me.  Of all the open spots in the bar, he had to sit on the couch right next to me.  I was uncomfortable from the moment he sat down.

"Hey Pal.  I'm Charlie," he said to me. "Can I offer you a cigar?"

I consider myself to be a moderate cigar smoker, so I took him up on his offer.  "Sure", I said.  "The name's Winston".  In retrospect, it is the smartest decision I've ever made.  Chasing this other guy isn't a smart decision.  It's an instinct.  Survival and a beautiful afterlife don't leave me any other choice.

I'm going to have to commit one more evil act in my life.  I'm going to have to kill this guy, so I can survive with the antidote.  This will just add to my list of thousands of sins.  Can it really be evil if I have seen what my purpose in life is?  Can it really be evil if I know that my purpose will bring me beauty greater than any person could fathom?  To me, evil would be not killing this guy.

Charlie put his hand on my forehead while we were on the couch.  For a moment that felt like eternity, I was completely devoid of pain, sadness, and guilt.  I saw lights of every color, felt happiness, and heard the most gorgeous songs I have ever heard.  I saw every one of my loved ones who had passed on.  They were smiling.  I want that back so bad!

Then, I saw Charlie again.  He was handing a guy a cigar, and motioning for him to sit down with us.  I heard him say "So, Pal, this is Winston.  You'll get to know him very well in the next hour or so.  Very well."  The rest of their conversation seems like a blur.  All I could picture was the glimpse.

All I can picture now as I chase this guy is the glimpse I was given by Charlie.  It's fading away, and I can see the other man stumbling up ahead.  The walls of the mine shaft are becoming more and more lifelike.  They are real, and he's not keeping his balance well.  I may very well get the bag from him after all!

Ha ha! He's fallen, and dropped the bag.  He must not have been able to fight off the poison any longer.  My life is going to change.  From now on, I'm going to do good.  I'm going to help people.  I'm going to live and love!

I can see Charlie up ahead grinning, and now I feel horrible.  The walls of the cave smell like sulfur, and it seems hotter than before.  In fact, I can hardly breath through the humidity.

I'm going to be seeing a lot of Charlie, aren't I?

I'm not going to get to see beauty ever again, am I?

Ever.