NO ROOM IN THE BATHROOM

Originally Written for Writer's Cramp

Prompt:  write a poem or story entitled: No Room in the Bathroom. Write about a member of the family who tells it like it is: his/her problem – only one bathroom for a whole large family.

NO ROOM IN THE BATHROOM - A CONVERSATION

Wife:                Dear husband of mine --
                        My true Love divine,
                        Sorrow has crinkled my brow.
                        For I trot to the loo,
                        To do as I do,
                        And find I’m constricted somehow.

                        In such a tight place,
                        There isn’t much space,
                        I'm sure there was once more than that.
                        For the life of my mother,
                        I cannot uncover,
                        Why now I can’t sit where I’ve sat.

Husband:        Olivia, my sweet --
                        With quaint little feet,
                        I’m grieved that you suffer this way.
                        The house is no taller,
                        And bathroom no smaller,
                        Than when we first came here to stay.

Wife:                But, Henry for sure,
                        You’re being demure,
                        Of course you have seen as I do--
                        When I get to the pot,
                        Preparing to squat,
                        My knees rub the tub, not true?

Husband:        Dear Mother that spawned,
                        Six girls and one son,
                        I pray no assault to your ear.
                        ‘Tis not only your knees,
                        That have grown by degrees,
                        But your top and your middle, and rear.

Wife:                Now listen you coot!
                        You wretched old brute --
                        A litter I’ve born lyin' beside ‘ya.
                        Your money’s not squandered
                        Your shirts are all laundered
                        Now build me a bathroom that’s wid'a!!

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