Webster's dictionary pageant.

This summer I entered the celebrated Canadian Webster's beauty pageant. I went as Miss Fire, representing British Columbia in the hot summer. I rode in on my motorcycle, which wasn't quite running right, so I arrived late. Right away, I met Miss Trust. She had beady little eyes and ended up giving me the wrong directions. In the hallway, I bumped into poor Miss Fortune. Her baggage was missing, her heel was broken and someone stole her purse. (  Mental note, not to bunk with her!) I picked her sorry self up and we went into the reception room to meet the only judge, Mr. E. who nobody knew anything about! He took us into the main hall where everyone was playing Scrabble and getting acquainted with each other. Miss Spelt was shitty at the game but she was cute and fun to be around, not like Miss Quote who kept correcting Miss Pronounce. Personally, I think Miss Laid had some better ideas. In fact, I volunteered to room with her and we had ourselves a great time, creating some new talent with found props.
        Come show-time Miss placed had lost her props and blamed it on Miss Conduct who everybody blamed everything on. In the talent show Miss Step performed this off-beat rountine which needed a bit of work. Of course, Miss Ellaneous was good at everything. She could juggle, ride a bike, and chew gum, all at the same time. Then there was the gal from Quebec (what was her name?) Oh ya, Miss Ery. She had a Gothic look and recited this dark satire that kinda brought the crowd down. Not for long though. When it came to the swimsuit competition there was Miss Fit, Miss Align and Miss Shapen. It was quite a sight and I wouldn't have wanted to be a judge in that one! It all came down to the finalists. I didn't  make the finals but Miss Zippy did! Miss Zippy? that doesn't make sense. In fact, I know that chick is married, which makes her Mrs.Zippy! Well! When Miss Trial heard, she wanted to call the whole thing off. Miss Carriage dropped out early because she thought that Miss Ogyny shouldn't have been able to enter at all. We all hated that bitch! Wish she never even existed! Well, when the dust settled. The winner was, the talented, the charming, the beautiful Miss Nomer!