Lesson 4: Don't Point That View At Me

Lesson Four Assignment:

1. Pick a novel or short story written in third person. It can be one of your own or written by another author.

Mr. Bennet was among the earliest of those who waited on Mr. Bingley. He had always intended to visit him, though to the last always assuring his wife that he should not go; and till the evening after the visit was paid she had no knowledge of it. It was then disclosed in the following manner. Observing his second daughter employed in trimming a hat, he suddenly addressed her with:

“I hope Mr. Bingley will like it, Lizzy.”

“We are not in a way to know what Mr. Bingley likes,” said her mother resentfully, “since we are not to visit.”

“But you forget, mamma,” said Elizabeth, “that we shall meet him at the assemblies, and that Mrs. Long promised to introduce him.”

“I do not believe Mrs. Long will do any such thing. She has two nieces of her own. She is a selfish, hypocritical woman, and I have no opinion of her.”

“No more have I,” said Mr. Bennet; “and I am glad to find that you do not depend on her serving you.”

Mrs. Bennet deigned not to make any reply, but, unable to contain herself, began scolding one of her daughters.
“Don’t keep coughing so, Kitty, for Heaven’s sake! Have a little compassion on my nerves. You tear them to pieces.”

“Kitty has no discretion in her coughs,” said her father; “she times them ill.”

2. Rewrite the first three or four paragraphs in first person.

I can’t believe his apathy for our daughters’ marriage bliss surpasses even that towards our old, stinky donkey! To think he could desert his rightful duty to pay a kind visit to good Mr. Bingley just so he could go for one of his unnecessary solitary walks.

“I hope Mr. Bingley will like it, Lizzy.” His voice interrupted my inner frustrations.

What cheeks to make such an unkind comment! If I should still withhold my outrage to myself, I would certainly blow up!

“We are not in a way to know what Mr. Bingley likes, since we are not to visit.” I scowled the sullenest I know how at the father of our daughters, who at the moment sat admiring Elizabeth working on the trimmings of a hat. If he knew how many late nights Lizzy had suffered to sew this handsome piece of hat together, and how many withering hours I spent fretting over her singlehood, he would have kept that chattering mouth of his shut.

Elizabeth was quick to rush to her father’s defence, as she had done since young. She had always been her daddy’s girl. “But you forget, mama, that we shall meet him at the assemblies, and that Mrs. Long promised to introduce him.”

I cannot help but to smirk the slightest at Lizzy’s naïveté. Which woman in her right mind would recommend a stranger’s unwedded daughter over the single women in her own family? I decided to instil the harsh reality into Lizzy’s optimism, “I do not believe Mrs. Long will do any such thing. She has two nieces of her own. She is a selfish, hypocritical woman, and I have no opinion of her.”

That last line of meanness was almost unintentional. However, it was nothing short of the truth. Anyone who had known Mrs. Long, and could contend with my poor opinion of her, must either be a great liar or a greater fool.

“No more have I, and I am glad to find that you do not depend on her serving you,” Mr. Bennet, to my surprise, agreed. Well, but since he knew we could depend on no greater help than he himself, ought not he had invested proper time and effort to arrange a meeting with Mr. Bingley? My indignance coursed through my veins. Kitty began coughing in unrelenting whoops, each ejection of air and saliva from her lungs increasing my already brimming rage. “Don’t keep coughing so, Kitty, for heaven’s sake! Have a little compassion for my nerves! You tear them to pieces!”
“Kitty has no discretion in her coughs, she times them ill.” Mr. Bennet synchronised, although I cannot help but to suspect a streak of sarcasm intended for my ears.


3. What changes? Do you like the results better or not? Do you see places where you could expand to add the character’s attitudes and thoughts?

I feel that the whole tone of the story has changed when the POV was switched. In the 3rd person point of view, this little family discussion felt like an ordinary family bickering, even a trifle amusing. However, when written in the first person POV, Mrs. Bennet seemed to turn from a worrisome and dutiful mother into an unforgiving and jumpy woman. I felt that in such a scenario, a 3rd person POV would be much more appropriate in giving a well-rounded story. But of course, I felt that personal thoughts, emotions and venting of hidden thoughts could be done much better with the first person, since the reader could actually get into the head of the character to know what's actually flying by in the minds.