Don't Eat the Girl Scout Cookies: Pt 2

``````I snap out of my trance and plaster myself against the opposite wall of the dressing room. Had I really just done that?
         My breathing is too heavy for my liking.
         “Sheesh, Amanda,” He says to me. He smiles. “Humans are so easily fascinated.”
         I gawk at him. “Trevor! I’ve never seen an immortal before! Cut me some slack!”
         He smiles. “I know…I’m just teasing you.” His smile disappears. “You know, for a second, I thought you were going to kiss me.”
         I blink at him. Wasn’t I?
         He smiles again. “Good thing you didn’t.”
         I frown.
         He continues, “If you had, we would have some trouble.”
         I’m curious now. “Why?”
         “Oh, well,” he says, sliding the red polo shirt over his head. I relax a bit, now that his glow is hidden again. “Immortals and mortals don’t mix well.”
         I feel something escape me. Am I…disappointed?
         He smiles. “We can’t mate, for obvious reasons.”
         I think. “Obvious for you maybe.”
         He looks at me. “Really? Amanda, to mortals, immortals are sterile, and likewise of course.”
         I nod. “Oh.” Of course. So obvious. “But what does that have to do with a mortal kissing an immortal? That’s completely different.” I say.
         Trevor leans against the wall opposite from me. “Amanda…you’re a mortal. Fall in love with a mortal, get married, have kids, raise them, grow old, die…live a normal life.”
         I cross my arms. “Trevor, I’m standing in a dressing room with a demon. You want me to have a normal life? Well, then you shouldn’t have saved me from Raven…or at least stopped her from coming in the Quik Trip to begin with. From here on out, my life will not be normal. At least not in comparison to other humans.”
         Trevor’s face hardens. “You want me to leave? I can do that.” He takes off the shirt, puts his t-shirt and hoodie back on, and says, “Have a nice life, Amanda.”
         The next second he is gone. Gone. Disappeared like a ghost.

```````I collapse on the floor. No. It can’t be.
         I drop my head in my hands. Why? What just happened? Had I really been fooled? Had I really believed that it could have been more? Had I been so disillusioned? Prevarication at its best: love. I shake my head. It wasn’t even that. Not even close. Trevor probably has some girl demon back in the Cold Place, waiting for him to come home from Earth and that silly human.
         I lean my head back against the wall. Why was I sitting on the floor? What purpose was it serving me?
         I stand up. I have to eat lunch and get ready for work. I don’t care if work is in five hours. I need to do something.

*******Trevor is in his room, lying on his floor. He sighs and rethinks his last move. He left Amanda susceptible to harm. What was he thinking? Especially with Raven so close! She was probably watching the whole thing. Trevor groaned and rolled over. Well, Amanda can take care of herself, he thinks.
         He stares out the window of a roof at the heavens. The ineffable sight is soothing and helps him think.
         A soft ding lets him know that someone is at his door. He focuses his mind on the door and tells it to open. The wall becomes a conglomeration of ectoplasmic goo that resembles a wooden door. His visitor slides through the particles. Trevor raises his head.
         “Trevor? What are you doing on the floor?” The demon grins and joins him on the floor.
         “Hey, Chase.” Trevor replies.
         “So, what are you doing? How’s your human doing?”
         Trevor groans again and sits up.
         “That well, huh?”
         “That’s what I was thinking about, lying on the floor.”
         Chase nods. “Humans are crazy. Mine is going through a rebellious stage.” He rolls his eyes. “Teens are such a pain.”
         “Chase, they’re still under the jurisdiction of their parents.”
         Chase grins and says, “I know. I’m just getting used to keeping my eye on the little nimrod. He has a serious attitude problem though…I don’t know how his parents put up with him.”
         Trevor rolls his eyes and says, “Amanda found out about me today.”
         Chase’s smile disappears. “You told her?”
         Trevor looks at him. “Chase, Raven was after her. I found her in Amanda’s house. I managed to scare her off, but stuck around too long and Amanda found me in her kitchen.”
         Chase raises an eyebrow. “Forget to leave?”
         Trevor shrugs. “I wanted to make sure Raven didn’t come back.”
         Chase shakes his head. “Nuh-uh, Trev, you totally wanted to see her.”
         Trevor sighs and says, “This is why I never tell you about my great adventures on Earth.”
         Chase laughs. “You know you like her. She’s a damsel in distress, pretty, very mortal but smart, and is okay with your secret….unless that’s why you’re thinking on your floor.”
         “Well,” Trevor sighs, “I think she’s okay with me being a demon.”
         Chase looks at him expectantly. “Then what’s the problem?”
         Trevor looks Chase squarely in the eye and responds, “She almost kissed me.”
         Chase fell over backward, dissolving into laughter.
         “It’s not funny!” Trevor cries.
         “Trev!” Chase says between fits of laughter. “That’s the funniest thing I’ve ever heard! A mortal almost kisses you and you freak out! I’d be thrilled!”
         Trevor stared at Chase. “Chase, you can’t even get an immortal female to kiss you.”
         Chase laughed harder. “I know!”
         Trevor stands up. “I’m serious, Chase!”
         Chase heaves one last laugh then stands up, too. “I know…but still, that’s funny. So, why is that a bad thing, Trev?”
         Trevor sighs. “Mortals and immortals don’t go together.”
         Chase blinks. “Trev…mortals and immortals go together like peanut butter and jelly.”
         Trevor frowns. “Huh?”
         Chase shrugs. “It’s a human food…a sandwich of some sort.”
         Trevor rolls his eyes. “Chase, the mortal wannabe.”
         Chase shakes his head. “No, for real, it’s a perfect combination of sweet and tangy and smooth with soft and sticky and crunchy. It’s a good analogy to mortals and immortals.”
         “Have you ever eaten one of these sandwiches?”
         “Nope, but Evan eats them all the time.” Chase says, referring to his human.
         “Oh, well, then they must be good.”
         “Anyway, what happened with Amanda?”
         “We were in the dressing room-”
         “Wait, what?”
         “She decided that if I was going to be hanging around Earth, that I’d need some new clothes, so we went shopping, and I was in the dressing room trying on clothes when she came in with some pants and stuff. I let her in the room I was in and she looked at me and then she fainted.”
         Chase stifles more laughter. “She fainted?”
         Trevor nods. “Yeah…I was too much for her little mortal mind to handle.”
         Chase chuckles. “I love humans! They’re so predictable!”
         “And then she asked if she could touch me and I decided why not. I mean, what harm could it cause? Well, she touched me and…Chase, it was the weirdest thing. My mind turned all fuzzy and I couldn’t stop saying her name. All I could do was look into her beautiful green eyes and wonder what this must be like, seeing a demon for the first time, touching him…I felt this urge to reach for her and pull her close. The next thing I knew, she was right up against me, some invisible force pressing her to me. Her face was inches from mine and I…I got lost…Chase, I suddenly couldn’t remember who I was or what I was doing or why this girl was pressed to me…Except for one thing…I looked at this girl and knew, Chase, I just knew, that she was mine. And then I closed my eyes. I told her that we could never be and she got all defensive. I told her she needed to be with other humans and she freaked out. She said that her life will never be normal and then I told her to have a nice life and left.”
         Chase is frozen, staring at his friend. “Trevor…”
         Trevor looks at Chase. “What? You asked what was wrong. Don’t back out on me now.”
         Chase shakes his head. “I can’t help you, Trev.”
         Trevor frowns. “Why not?”
         Chase gives Trevor a small smile. “Trev…you’re in love.”
         Trevor’s face fell. “No. Chase, you’re wrong. I can’t love a mortal…I can’t love my human!”
         Chase shrugged. “Well, we don’t just fall in love…We chose to fall in love. You chose her.”
         Trevor shakes his head. “But…but…but it will only be a let down and heartache. I live here, she lives there. She is a mortal, I’m immortal. She will die one day, I live forever. She…we…it would never be a…family we…we…it’s a dead end, Chase! It can’t be!”
         Chase shrugs. “Gone inside her head yet? Maybe you could transform her or something…Look up spells…Ask your mentor. There’s got to be something.”
         Trevor stares at his floor. “Do I really want this for me? For her?”
         Chase places a hand on Trevor’s shoulder. “It’s tough, Trev. Love is tough.”
         Trevor looks at Chase and chuckled. “Some help you are.”
         Chase grins. “What can I say? Talk to her…Make amends. You probably broke her heart. Takes a lot to mend one of those, you know.”
         Trevor sighs. “I know.”
         Chase nods. “I’ll see you later, okay? Evan is hanging his sister’s teddy bear out of the high-rise’s window.”
         Trevor waves a good bye. “Bye, Chase…and thanks for the help.”
         Chase grins. “Anytime, Trev.”

````````I buy the clothes anyway. I think out of wishful thinking more than anything else. I load the bags in the trunk of my little Honda, get in, and head for my apartment. Buford is the wrong direction to go shopping when I live about thirty minutes outside of Atlanta, but seeing how I’m not the best at geographical things, I sigh and prepare for the hour drive back home. When I get back, I drop the clothes on the living room floor and decide to take a shower before dinner and work.
         The water is hot and soothing. My head hurts and sadness is overwhelming. In the streaming water of the shower, my tears mix with the tap water; the shower curtain and tiles don’t care if I cry- they’ve seen me cry before. They are all-seeing and indifferent to my sufferings. They don’t even turn their imaginary backs to give me privacy. I stand in the tub, naked, crying. The shampoo and conditioner get in my eyes. My eyes sting. I can’t tell the difference between the chemically caused pain and the heartache.
         That is if I can call it heartache. Obviously, I am attracted to the demon Trevor, but in love with? He pushed me away before I knew if it was love. And now it’s too late. Maybe he was right. Maybe I should stick with humans. They may not glow or make me faint, but at least they aren’t so beyond my reach, on the edge of my grasp. I close my eyes. It doesn’t matter who I love. My heart can be broken. It is fragile and human and soft and caring and slow-healing. And trusting. I knew Trevor for less than a day and I already trusted him. I am a fool.
         I know that Trevor will still watch over me and protect me from Raven and other Demons and ghosts. But it won’t be out of sympathy or kindheartedness. He will watch over me out of obligation. He will be my guardian demon because it is his job. Can he be heartless? Loveless?
         I turn the water off and step out of the tub. I wrap the soft towel around my body, but it only dries me, offering no comfort. Will nothing calm my bleeding heart?
         I pull on a short-sleeved shirt and jeans. I look the mirror to brush my hair. My shirt is the color of his eyes. I take off the shirt and put on a white t-shirt with my high school’s name scripted across the chest. I brush my hair and leave it to air-dry. I shuffle to the kitchen to throw together some lunch. The clock reads 8:32. Only two and a half more hours until work.
         I heat up a can of tomato soup and grill a cheese sandwich. I wish it would rain outside, so that the whole world could mourn my loss. Tomorrow, I’m going to call someone. Some friend from high school who I haven’t talked to in forever. Who? I don’t know. Just someone. Dig up some old friendship. If he wants me to be more involved with humans, then that’s what I’ll do. I hope he’s watching. I hope he regrets hurting me.
         I eat my lunch and set my alarm clock for 10:15 pm. I need a nap. I fall asleep to the steady rhythm of the traffic below. I hope he’s watching. I hope he regrets hurting me.
         A little part of me hopes that Raven won’t attack me.

******Trevor approaches his mentor cautiously. He still isn’t quite sure what his reasoning will be when his mentor asks why he needs a transformation spell for a human.
         Dr. Kelly, an old female demon, nearly two thousand years old, is pouring over an ancient text in her study. She looks up at Trevor when he rings her bell.
         “Ah, my good student, Trevor!” She welcomes him. “How have you been?”
         Trevor shrugs. “Good, I guess.”
         She raises an eyebrow. “You guess? One should always know how he or she is doing. It provides mental stability.”
         Trevor blinks. Why does she always treat him like a mortal? “In that case, I’m determined.”
         Dr. Kelly smiles. “Excellent. I’m doing quite well, so don’t ask. What may I do for you today?”
         Trevor bites his lip. “I need a transformation spell.”
         Dr. Kelly’s smile fades. “What kind of transformation spell?”
         “Uhm…” Trevor replies. He doesn’t really know what kind of spell he needs.
         Dr. Kelly shakes her head. “Trevor, who is this spell for? A ghost? A Demon? A demon? Who?”
         Trevor clears his throat. “Uhm…”
         “I can’t help you if you don’t give me more information, child!”
         Trevor closes his eyes then reopens them. “Alright, I need a transformation spell for my human, Amanda. I need to transform her into…something, I don’t know.”
         Dr. Kelly nods. “And why would your human need to be transformed?”
         Trevor studies his feet. “Well…don’t laugh…but I’m…I’m in love with Amanda.”
         Dr. Kelly’s face lit up, delighted at the news. “Trevor, that’s wonderful!”
         Trevor frowns in confusion. “You’re not mad?”
         She smiles. “Why would I be? This happens all the time between mortals and immortals!”
         “All the time?”
         “Trevor, when you have lived for almost two thousand years and seen this happen a total of twelve times, that becomes ‘all the time.’” Dr. Kelly informs him.
         “How did those work out?” Trevor asks, very curious.
         “Well,” Dr. Kelly replies, “Most of them turned out just fine…but there is always some sacrifice.”
         “What do you mean?”
         “Well, as opposite mortalities, you must overcome some barrier to achieve the goal of love.”
         “I’m still not following you.”
         “Trevor, one of you must either become mortal or immortal or just be okay with being opposite mortalities and accept the fact that you’ll never have kids or raise a family.”
         Trevor’s head started spinning at the thought of kids. Heck, he just realized that he loves Amanda. Don’t push it with kids. “How do we overcome the mortal-immortal thing?”
         “Well…I guess it just depends on you guys.”
         Trevor thinks. Amanda would much rather be immortal, he knows this much. “Amanda would want to become immortal.”
         Dr. Kelly nods. “That’s usually how it works. You see, in order for the mortal to become immortal, the immortal must use self-mindsertion and go inside the mortal’s mind. Then, the immortal must leave part of him- or herself behind in the mortal’s mind. The mortal must then use dark magic to transform him- or herself to become fully immortal.”
         Trevor blinks. Sounds simple. “How difficult is this?” He asks.
         Dr. Kelly pauses. “Trevor, not all mortals can master dark magic enough to pull off even the most simple transformation spell.”
         “Meaning, this is gonna be near impossible.”
         Dr. Kelly shrugs. “It depends on how strong the mortal is and how much of him- or herself the immortal can leave within the mortal’s mind. And to teach a mortal dark magic is often much easier than is expected. The mortals that tend to fall in love with immortals are already attracted to the dark power and most likely have some of the potential in them to begin with. This makes it easier for them to learn dark magic.”
         Trevor nods. “That makes sense.”
         “So, you know what you’re going to tell her now?”
         Trevor gives Dr. Kelly a quizzical look. “What do you mean?”
         “Oh, come on, Trevor, certainly you’re going to go reveal your big news to her. I was just making sure that you knew all your information.”
         Trevor smiles. “Yeah, I think I got it. Thanks, Dr. Kelly.”
         “Oh, Trevor, one more thing.”
         Trevor nods for her to continue.
         “A Master of dark magic must be present to supervise. If the spell does not work, both the mortal and immortal are in very great danger. Immortals can only survive so long in parts, and mortals could easily destroy themselves with their limited knowledge of dark magic.”
         Trevor smiles. “Would you be my supervisor, Dr. Kelly?”
         She smiles in return. “I’d be glad to, Trevor.”
         “Okay…hopefully, I’ll be back soon.”
         Dr. Kelly nods. “Yes, you’ll have a lot of work to do.”
         Trevor transports himself to Earth.

``````When my shrill alarm goes off at 10:15 pm, I am disoriented. My sheets are tangled about my body; my head is not at the headboard or the opposite end of the bed but, rather, in the middle of the bed, chin against my chest, ear plastered to the coverless mattress. My comforter is heaped on the floor. When I open my eyes, I have a plain view of the door and the permanently locked window. I inadvertently situated myself so I could see either entrance while I was sleeping. Although that couldn’t serve a useful purpose, it must have soothed my worrying mind.
         I am still sore of heart but less sorrowful. I unwrap myself from my white sheets and go to the bathroom. My hair is matted to my face and neck with sweat. The whole apartment is insufferably hot. I splash cool water on my face and brush back my hair. I continue going to the bathroom and getting dressed before I notice the air conditioner isn’t running at all. I take a look at the thermostat. It’s eighty-six. No wonder I’m dying.
         I tap the little down arrow until the screen reads seventy-two. I hit the hold button and wait, but nothing happens. Damn. My air conditioner is broken. I sigh. Not again. Just last June, when the high outside was ninety-eight, it broke. That was killer. Georgia heat without an air conditioner is like suffocating.
         I sit down at my table, thoroughly convinced that the apartment is out to get me. Last year, around Easter, my washer and dryer both died. And just a couple months earlier, a pipe burst, flooding my bedroom. I’ve had such nasty luck with this apartment that I can barely stand it. I start to wonder if moving is a good idea. I sigh. I’ll be commuting to college everyday very soon. Soon I won’t be spending everyday in this stupid little apartment.
         I pick at the box of girl scout cookies still on the table. My stomach growls a little and I decide that one…or two…cookies shouldn’t hurt. Plus, Tre- he said that they aren’t poisonous, so where is the harm? I tug at the lid and break the plastic seal. I look inside at the assorted group. Which one? Thin mint? Tag-Along? My stomach growls again. I bite my lip. Does it really matter? I grab a thin mint and stuff it in my mouth.

````````Oh my…when Trev- he said that Demon-made cookies are darkly magical, he wasn’t kidding. This silly, little, unevenly round thin mint crumbles between my teeth and mint blossoms throughout my mouth like dye in water. These cookies are ecstasy of the mouth. I’m pretty sure a moan even escaped. How come I have never tried these cookies?
         I reach for another cookie, not thinking now, and cram it between my teeth. Cookie after cookie, I barely pause to relish the flavor of each one. I laugh at myself as my fingers become coated with chocolate and crumbs and my stomach becomes leaden and full. When I eat the last cookie, I lick my fingertips in desperation for more darkly magical goodness.
         I thump back in my chair and place a smeary hand on my stomach. Oof. Did I really just eat all those cookies? I overturn the box, nothing but crumbs falling out. Yeah. I ate the whole damn box. I shake my head. I glance at my clock. It’s almost eleven. I have to leave soon. I yawn and go to the bathroom to brush my teeth.
         As I brush my teeth, I walk around my apartment, tidying up little things. I throw the box away, make my bed, cuss out the thermostat with my mind, and check out my appearance. By the time I’m done brushing my teeth, I’m tired again. I look longingly at my bed. I want to lie down and sleep, but I have to go to work. I grab my keys, a book, and my license and head out the door. I yawn as I wait for the elevator. This is nuts. I’m gonna be asleep before I even get to the car. I head for the stairs. I jog down the ten flights of stairs. At the bottom, I’m awake.
         In the dark, it’s hard to identify my little black Toyota, but I squint and look for the familiar dented-on-the-left bumper with a bumper sticker that reads: If idiots could fly, this place would be an airport. My ten year-old car is sitting between two trucks, one red, one blue. The blue truck has a guy sitting on the back, drinking a beer. He nods a hello to me through his drunken stupor. I nod back and get in my car. I turn on the ignition and drive out of the parking lot. That parking lot gives me the creeps at night. It’s so dark and shady…I always feel like I am going to get mugged just walking to my car. It’s crazy because the entire area is being watched by surveillance, but then again- don’t the movies say the cops spend their time watching TV and eating donuts with their black coffee?
         I drive to the Quik Trip. I grimace against the bright lights. I’m falling asleep again. I nod a hello to the other guy who is working now. In an hour, it’ll be just me. And all the snacks and drinks and gas. The four of us get along pretty well. We usually like it better when the other guy isn’t here. Tonight, the other guy’s name tag reads: Oliver. Yesterday, he was Rick. And the day before that, he was: David. This guy is crazy.
         “Hey,” I say to him, “Weren’t you Oliver last Wednesday?”
         The other guy glances down at his name tag. He shook his head. “Last Wednesday it was spelled differently.”
         I quirk an eyebrow. How many ways can you spell ‘Oliver?’ Like I said, this guy is crazy. I nod, as if I know exactly what he means and go to look for a mop and bucket. Now that the customer flow has lessened, the employees have to clean up. Other Guy doesn’t do anything except sit there and look through all the magazines. Occasionally, he’ll get up to eat a hot dog or pour himself a slushy, but that stool behind the counter is his residing place most of our overlapping shifts. I am okay with this. He doesn’t get in my way as I try to mop up messes, reorganize the snacks, replace empty cartons of candy with full ones, and other such tidying skills- I have lots of those.
         Tonight, Other Guy decides to follow me around. I think letting him know that I actually realize he exists was a bad idea. He doesn’t say much, but he’s there, a shadow hovering above my shoulder. At one point, he is staring right in my face. I clear my throat.
         “Can I help you?” I ask.
         He blushes and hides behind his blond bangs. “Uh…Well…I…uh…” he stutters.
         I smile privately. “So…uh…Oliver,” I begin, “How old are you?”
         His chin raises a little, and I notice he has brilliant green eyes. “Nineteen.”
         “I see. You in high school?”
         Other Guy shrugs. “I’m working for college…I finished up high school in May.”
         I nod. “I’m working for college, too.”
         Other Guy looks me in the eye. “Really?” He smiles. “Where do you go?”
         “University of Georgia.”
         He snickers. “Georgia Tech.”
         I roll my eyes. “Major?”
         He shrugs. “Not sure yet. You?”
         “Well,” I say and take a deep breath, “I was going to major in psychology, but now I’m not so sure. I want to do something with movies.”
         A smile spreads his full lips. “Movies? I’ve made some homemade movies in my day.”
         I nod. “Yeah…maybe write screenplays or something.”
         “Oh.” He says.
         “What?” I ask.
         “You’re a writer.” He says sarcastically.
         I raise an eyebrow. “Got something against writers?”
         He shakes his head. “Nah, just figures…writers are so weird.”
         I stop fidgeting with the chips boxes I am rearranging. “Me weird? Buddy, you have a different name everyday.”
         Other Guy laughs. “True.”
         “So what’s your excuse, Oliver? If that is your real name…”
         Other Guy leans against the counter. “My name is Joel, and I like to design bridges.”
         “An architect?”
         He nods. “Yup.”
         “That’s cool. Don’t think I’ve ever met someone who likes to design bridges for the fun of it.”
         Joel smiles. “I’ve never met a serious writer before either.”
         I smile at him. “You think I’m serious?”
         Joel shrugs. “You don’t seem like the humorous type.”
         I throw my head back and laugh as if that is the funniest thing I’ve ever heard. “How about now?”
         Joel joins in on my laughter and says, “No, now I know why you write the screenplays rather than perform them.”
         “Hey!” I smack Joel playfully.
         “Just saying…”
         I roll my eyes. “Oh, please…” I grab the mop and attempt to fling water at him. Joel dodges the flying water and ducks behind a rack of chips. “Come out and fight like a man!” I taunt. I sneak after Joel, turning down a parallel aisle and hunker down to keep myself hidden from sight. I tuck the mop handle in close and run toward the end of the aisle. When I get there, no Joel is to be found. I frown and hurry to peek down the next aisle. No Joel there either. I’m running out of aisles and Joel has disappeared. I stand up in frustration. Immediately, water sprays me in the face. I shriek in surprise. Joel dissolves into giggles. He has found another mop. He turns and runs down the parallel aisle back toward the bucket. “Oh, no, you don’t!” I say and run after him.
         I slide around the corner and am shocked. Joel just mopped the floor. My feet slip and slide across the surface, and I lose my balance. I drop the mop and try to gain stability. I scream in my startled stupor. Joel sees the shock on my face and how fast I am approaching the floor.

``````I land in Joel’s arms, just inches above the wet floor. I am breathless and still shocked. Joel cradles me in his arms. “You okay?” He asks. “I didn’t mean to make you fall…just messin’ around, ya know? Please tell me you’re okay and that you’re not mad.”
         Still dazed, I blink a few times. “Yeah, I think I’m okay.” I sit up in his arms. I realize my butt is not touching the wet floor. I look down and find myself sitting in his lap. I’m too dazed to think about this, but I roll my eyes at him and stand up.
         “What?” He asks.
         I just chuckle and take a step. My foot slides across the tile floor, and I end up in Joel’s arms again.
         “Maybe I should help you since your balance is off.” He suggests, propping up my elbow with his hand. I accept the help. We move around counter. Once I am on dry floor, I break free of his grip and sit down on his stool.
         Joel pauses and turns back to put up the mops and bucket. He places a sign over the wet area and comes back around the counter. He hoists himself onto the counter, our knees touching.
         “You never told me your name.” He says.
         I look at him surprised. “I’m Amanda.”
         He grins and mouths the name, his lips trying it on for effect. “I like it.”
         “Me, too.”
         We fall a silent. A thought forms in my mind.
         I shiver in the cold gas station. Why hadn’t I brought a jacket? Sometimes I just don’t use my head.
         “Cold?” Joel asks. “You can have my jacket.”
         I smile. “Thanks.”
         Joel slips his jacket off and hands it to me. I take the warm hooded jacket and slide it on. Immediately, I shiver with the sudden temperature difference.
         “So…uh…Amanda,” Joel begins. I look up at him. He is nervous. I can tell because he is flipping his bangs constantly. His green eyes seem to flit from some unseen object to me and back again. I place a hand on his right knee, and he just about jumps off the counter. “Sorry,” he swallows.
         I smile. “When does your shift officially end?”
         His face falls. He thinks I want to get rid of him- quite the opposite. “Eleven forty-five.”
         I look at my watch. “You wanna unofficially work for a couple extra?”
         He cocks his head. “Do I get paid?”
         “To keep me company, Joel?”
         He grins. “Okay.”
         I slide off the stool and go on a search for something sweet. Joel hops off the counter and positions himself back on the stool. His shift isn’t over yet. I find a 100 grand and bring it back. I lean against the counter and eat the candy bar. With a nagging feeling, I remember that this is the same type of candy bar that Raven bought last night.
         I watch Joel tap to the beat of some hip-hop song. I finish the candy bar and throw away the wrapper. This idea has been forming in my head…”Joel?” I begin.
         He looks down at me. “Yeah?”
         I thrust my hands in the pockets of his jacket. “You gotta girlfriend?”
         He frowns. “No.”
         I nonchalantly approach him. “Good.”
         “You gotta boyfriend?” He asks, nervous again.
         I slide my hands back out of the pockets. “Nope.” I settle in his lap, wrap my arms around his neck, and kiss him.
         He takes in a ragged breath. “Amanda?”
         “Sh,” I shush him, “just shut up and kiss me.”
         As if permission unrestrains him, Joel kisses me back, warm and eager. I thrust my fingers through his blond hair and caress his cheek. As our tongues meet, I feel a smooth hand slip behind my back and settle in the small curve. He strokes the tender spot, and immediately my body responsively arches. It makes me break off my kiss, midway, and gasp in surprise. Joel kisses my neck and jaw as I scramble to press my lips against his temple.
         Suddenly, I am falling. I pull Joel closer as my back hits something hard. We are on the counter now. I cannot help myself. I must kiss him, I must touch him.
         The bell jingles. Somewhere, deep, deep down, that means something. Right now all I can come up with is Christmas songs. I feel a strange presence nearby and force myself to open my eyes and think.
         “Joel,” I breathlessly gasp.
         “Hn?” He responds, kissing my jaw.
         “Stop,” I whisper.
         Joel groans but gets up and pulls me with him. He keeps his hands around my waist, and I spin in his arms to find the customer I heard come in. My eyes widen as I see the childlike, jeans-and-hoodie clad figure wandering the aisles. I clutch at Joel. With a sinking feeling, I realize he cannot help me. With an even more disappointed feeling, I realize that Joel didn’t bring me happiness, just temporary satisfaction.
         Joel tightens his grip on me. “What?” he whispers in my ear, “Amanda, what’s wrong?”
         Raven peers up at me from the same aisle I had found the 100 grand candy bar in. Dread washes over me. Where is my guardian demon? I hate to admit it, but I need him…I hate to think about him, but I have to. I pray to God he’ll come in time.
         “Joel…” I say slowly. We need to get outside, into an open space. “Follow my lead; don’t ask any questions.”
         Joel pulls me to his warm body. “When?”
         I twist to peer up into his green eyes. “Now.”
         We break apart.
         “What were you thinking? Kissing me? Why I oughta…” I threaten and head toward the back room- where there was an exit. “I’m calling the police on you!”
         Joel’s face drains of his usual rosy pallor. He looks scared. “Now wait…just wait a minute! I…I- just wait!” He is floundering for words and inching toward the door. When I disappear from his sight, he dashes out the building and through the parking lot.
         I take off down the employee only hallway toward the back room. There are two rooms down this hallway: a lounge and the office. The office is at the end of the hallway and is the farthest room from the entrance; that’s why it’s called the back room. I enter the back room and dodge the manager’s desk. I can hear someone moving behind me. I quicken my pace and burst into a sprint. The exit is two feet away. My fingers grasp the door handle, ready to launch the door open.

```````I never make it out. Raven materializes in front of me. I jump back in surprise. She grabs hold of my wrists. I instantly freeze. I’m paralyzed. I cannot move, and Raven chuckles. She thrusts back her hood.
         If I could scream, I would. Raven’s black flaming hair flows into the air around us, tendrils licking at the air like tongues. Her pale white face glows maddeningly against the darkness of her hair. Her piercing eyes turn crystal clear, like glass; they are like daggers, jutting into my open eyes and down my open throat. She burns my mortal skin as she slides into my body. Another presence slowly creeps into my mind. A small voice whispers unfamiliar words, and me head is on the verge of exploding. The other presence slams me against the walls of my mind, and knees buckle.
         My face smears against the dirty tile floor. I moan as the pain melts away, being soaked up by my mind. When I open my eyes, the light is harsh and brilliant. I wrinkle my nose and roll into my feet. I crouch instinctively into a predator’s hunch. The hair on the back of my neck bristles. Danger is in the air…I can smell it.
         I creep back toward the counter. No one is there, but my uneasy feeling does not recede. I straighten my back and put my hands in the pockets of the jacket I’m wearing. I look down. It’s Joel’s jacket. I blink. Where did he go? I look out the window. His car is gone. I shrug. Guess I’ll have to hold onto the jacket.
         My sensitive eyes notice a disturbance just up the street. Under the burned out streetlamp, a hooded figure leans against the pole. My lips pull back in a snarl. I approach the double glass doors, unsure whether to go out into the night or wait inside.

```````When I see myself in the glass doors, I pause. I barely recognize the young woman staring back. Her hair is still thick and curly and dark brown. Her body is still lean and clad in the Quik Trip employee garb. She looks just the same.
         Until I see her eyes. Her eyes- like piña colada lifesavers- are crystal clear irises, surrounding black pupils. The whites of her eyes- what are supposed to be the whites of her eyes- have a red brilliance about them. Her eyes are demonic.
         I smile razor-sharp teeth at the girl. She smiles in return, equally sharp teeth. I smile at this girl, this young woman. I smile at her and hardly realize it’s me smiling back. This reflection is foreign.
         My eyes focus on the figure underneath the burned out streetlamp. The figure has moved. He now crouches with the bushes at the base of the streetlamp. A voice…in my head, tells me to go to him. I open the door and stride out.

********Trevor crouches in the bushes. He is confused. Raven’s presence was here, just a moment ago, but now she is a ghost. He chuckles at his joke and peers at the figure approaching him. He smiles. It’s Amanda. He stands from his crouch.
         Trevor ambles from out of the bushes’ reach. “Amanda.” He says.
         The girl stops at her name. No, Trevor corrects himself, she freezes. “Amanda,” he calls again, “Amanda, it’s me…Trevor.”
         She refuses to come any closer.
         “What’s wrong?” Trevor asks. He clears his throat nervously and says, “Hey, I’m sorry for acting the way I did. I shouldn’t have left you…just, just…I was afraid of what might have happened had I stayed.” He smiles. “Am I making sense?”
         Amanda remains silent and frozen. Trevor wonders if she thinks that by not responding, he’ll leave. He shrugs the thought away. “Amanda.” He calls again.
         A slight shift in the wind’s direction makes him stiffen. She’s not Amanda. The wind burns his throat, a mix of sweetness and repulsion. This is a new smell to him. It is foreign yet human. He takes a step toward her. Could it be?
         Amanda shifts her weight ever so slightly to her left leg which is situated in front of her. She instinctively coils her body for an attack.
         Even in the dark night, Trevor is able to make out her face. When his eyes settle on hers, alarm floods his body. She has the eyes of a controlled mind- Raven must have self-mindserted. Trevor purses his lips. His suspicions were correct.
         Not taking time to think, Trevor casts a compulsion spell, but Amanda-Raven blocks the spell with a simple charm shield. Trevor launches another compulsion spell and another and another, but each attempt is blocked. Trevor and Amanda-Raven face one another in the parking lot, casting invisible charms and spells with their minds, neither one gaining the upper hand.
         Trevor finally clucks his tongue at his realization: this is a battle of the mind- Amanda’s to be exact. He hates the idea of self-mindserting on Amanda, but he has no choice. Having made up his mind, Trevor grabs Amanda-Raven by the shoulders and looks her in the eyes. He is sucked into Amanda’s mind through her crystal clear eyes and mouth.

********Amanda’s mind is a different place. Trevor recognizes it as the first house Amanda and her family had lived in North Carolina. Trevor remembers the pictures Amanda keeps in her closet. She loves that house and all the fond memories so much. He sighs. Raven has trashed the place. Amanda’s mind is starting to alter itself, taking in the damage. Trevor cannot let this happen.
         “Raven.” Trevor croons.
         The Demon appears in a doorway. “Trev-worl.”
         “What are you doing in here?” Trevor asks.
         Raven cackles. “Taacking yvou doawn- deestroyving yvou by-ee deestrovwing herl.”
         Trevor turns grimfaced. Demons’ and demons’ inability to lie is hardly ever reassuring. “Leave Amanda alone. If this is to be a battle between us, keep Amanda out of it. Besides,” he adds, “using mortals is a little low for you.”
         Raven growls and presses a spell upon him. Trevor’s knees buckle beneath him, but he fights back with another compulsion spell.
         “Is dat all yvou knowl, boyj?” She taunts.
         “I don’t want to hurt Amanda.” He responds, thrusting another charm at her.
         “To gvet riid of me, jou ghave to puush vouwself, bvoy. Vyou ghave to goh beh-yoand sus liimiits!”
         Trevor portals himself to Raven’s back, and his fist connects with her skull.          Raven dissolves into the air. Her omniscious voice calls, “Hkand-to-hkand…it es different…buut arje jou-” She materializes out if the air, above his head, and casts a sleeping charm in him-“puushed-” She shoves his forehead backward-“vyet?”
         Trevor momentarily passes out on the hardwood floor. Raven, delighted, takes off for Amanda, who is hiding in her secret corner- where she had retreated when Raven had first entered Amanda’s mind. Raven finds Amanda whimpering in a small closet in the corner of her bedroom. Raven shakes her head at Amanda- pathetic mortal. She flings open the closet door, drags Amanda out, and prepares to cast the final death spell.
         A sharp force blasts into her back, and Raven is flung against the wall of Amanda’s mind. Trevor appears between Raven and Amanda.
         “Get thee hence!” Trevor screams.
         Raven chuckles as a slight tug begins to pull her back to Hell. “Doo nok hthink jou kan ghet riid of me dat facilly, leet-el vuhn.” She laughs.
         Trevor grunts in anger. Time for drastic measures. He grabs Amanda’s hand, places a charm shield around her, and performs the most complex compulsion spell Raven had ever experienced. She is knocked in the chest and is sent right through the walls of Amanda’s mind. Raven leaves Amanda’s mind and body and is blasted back to Hell. Where she belongs, Trevor comments. She had underestimated him and the Power of the Conjoined. Trevor could feel her curse him. He shrugs the curse away and turns to Amanda, unaware of Raven’s true intentions.
         The Amanda he sees is very similar to the Amanda he loves. She looks the same, she smells the same, but she is not the same. When she does not speak and moves away from him, he realizes that her actions are completely unfamiliar. He realizes that this Amanda is the real Amanda. He realizes that he must be extremely careful with this Amanda. She is much more fragile than a human. This is Amanda’s soul.
         “Amanda,” Trevor whispers.
         Amanda curls up into a ball and tucks her chin in. She is shutting him out? Or just shy?
         “Amanda…” Trevor calls again. How can he talk to her if she never looks at him? “Amanda, please- I want to talk to you, just for a moment.”
         She remains curled up. Trevor kneels on the carpeted floor and reaches tentatively for her. “Amanda…Amanda, are you alright?”
         She slowly looks at him with teary eyes, still curled up.
         “Amanda, you’re safe now. Raven’s gone, and I will never let her self-mindsert or come near you again. I’ll take care of you; you’re alright.”
         Trevor places his hand on her shoulder. Concern courses through him. Had she been damaged in the fight? “What’s wrong, Amanda?”
         Amanda explodes- she jumps up from her curled position and screams, tears streaming down her cheeks, “You left! You left! You left like I mean nothing! You say you’re here to protect me, and you leave! You say you are my guardian, but Raven almost killed me! You left! You left!” Her lower lip trembles. She looks him in the eye. “I hate you.” The tears are streaming down her cheeks, but she doesn’t seem to notice. Her chest heaves with a sob and Amanda angrily blinks tears out of her pretty green eyes.
         Trevor stands. “Amanda, I can explain-”
         “No!” She cuts him off. She clutches her chest, at some unseen wound, and cries, “Get out! Get out!”
         She runs back to her closet and slams the door.
         Trevor purses his lips. Had he really hurt her that much? Had he really caused her so much pain? Broken her heart? He grimaces with guilt and worry. He goes to the closet door and says to her, “Amanda, I’m so sorry that I hurt you, but I promise I will never leave you again.”
         When she doesn’t respond, Trevor turns to leave.
         With a fading voice, he tells her:
         “I love you.”