Empty

I want to call you….

Want so badly to reach out to you
And tell you how much I need you right now
To look deep into my eyes and tell me you care
Whisper everything I want to hear
Lie to me and tell me I’m ok
So I can lie to myself and believe you

Want to talk for a minute
And watch you smile that smile
That’s so contagious
I can’t help but smile back
And feel like I’m normal
Capable of feeling happy
If only for a minute

I want to forget that we’re just friends
So that you can make me feel pleasure so intense
There’s no room for sorrow
Make my body tingle
So I remember what feeling is like
And wear me out so deeply
That I’ll forget about the pain
Until the sun comes up

Want to stay with you a while
So you can hold me in your arms
And take away these chills
That go beyond my skin
All the way down to my soul
Just the warm heat of your body
Giving me an instant of relief

Want you to touch me
Where no one else can
In that way that lets me know
That somebody cares about me
Even when I wish no one would
So I could justify letting go

Wish I wasn’t such a coward
So I could tell you that I need you
That I’m suffering
And I’m hurting so badly
I’m not sure I’ll recover


Because you’re the one guy
Who has enough of my heart
That one guy
I’ve allowed deep enough inside my soul
To ignite a spark of feeling

But…

Somewhere deep inside of me
Right next to the spot reserved only for you
Lies a chasm so deep
A hole so bottomless
It can’t be filled

So as much as I want to reach out to you
As badly as I need to feel your embrace

It would only be a temporary fix

And somehow I’m convinced
That the blackness inside of my soul
Would suck you in…
Drain you dry…

Until you’re as empty inside as I am