Hellfire

Hellfire

         The red gleam of the exit-sign glowed mistily in the air, like the beacon of a lighthouse lost in a hurricane. Kate couldn’t tell whether its fuzzy hue was due to some accursed fog that had settled on the gymnasium’s floor, or whether her own tired, frightened eyes were unable to make out the signal of security with clarity. However, she knew what the lurid gleam signified, and she knew that she should be moving its way. She knew that she should be running toward that door with all her might, but Kate also knew that she hadn’t moved in a very long time.

         Kate Laçion was sitting propped up against one of the concrete pillars that held the roof of her college gymnasium aloft. She knew that the pillar could obviously support her weight, but that knowledge did not stop her from tensing up as if afraid the wall would give out beneath her, just like everything else she had depended on had done. And yet, despite her despair, Kate felt as though one word of encouragement was all that she needed to leap to her feet and fling open the doors that led unto the sleeping world with the strength that comes from desperation. Still, no such encouragement arose. Kate was the only source such sentiment could have in her present condition, and yet her present condition forbade her from any positive thinking. She was utterly without hope.

         It hadn’t always been that way. Only a few minutes earlier, any intruder would have found Kate contently bathing under the cool rain of a showerhead, washing away the sweat from her latest soccer match. But sometimes, time seems to freeze for a few unbearable centuries. The events of those lost eras can never be spoken about, and their chronology can rarely be affirmed by anyone that wore an outsider’s wristwatch. But to those in the midst of those dark ages, everything that occurs takes on a reality of its own—a disillusioned, horrifying reality that is more real and less real than any other thing they have ever known. Such was Kate’s state of mind.

         As she sat under the reddish grimace of the exit sign, Kate could feel the darkness of the gymnasium pervading past her skin. It had nearly reached her inmost chambers, and if it did Kate was sure that she would turn into leaden stone. She knew that she had to move, and she knew that she couldn’t. She wanted to move and she didn’t want to move. She wanted each more than anything she had ever wanted in her life. Her two halves were fighting a war within her gloomy soul, and she wasn’t sure which one would win.

* * *

         She seemed to be staring into the eyes of a monster. The wan red light seemed just out of grasp and a million miles away. Kate felt as though, as soon as she had stood, some damned beast would surely accost her and drag her down to a hell that was more real than the one that burned in her anxious soul. Or perhaps it would let her walk a little, just until she thought she was safe, and then she would vanish into the center-court darkness. Kate was sure that nothing in this world or the next could be as intimidating as the empty blackness that gaped before her. It would be too easy to escape by simply walking toward the door. Some new trial would certainly wait in between.

         Kate could recall a time when her thoughts had not naturally tended toward haunted pessimism. She remembered her freshman year at college. She remembered her first lunch with her “assigned friends” from the honors program. She remembered her incredulity at Ben’s massive frame, the same frame that was soon rumored to be that of a Celtic god. She remembered Adam’s quiet, omniscient smirk, and Noland—whom everyone called Nole—’s smiling brown eyes that so naturally complimented his smooth black skin. And she remembered Shandra’s warm and friendly touch, the same that had encouraged her to study just a little longer so many times. “You can do it,” her little handshakes seemed to always say. Kate wondered what they would say to her quivering hands now.

         Life had seemed too perfect that first year. The five friends often wondered aloud how their sophomore years could be even better. Still, they all knew that the next year would be greater than the last. It seemed destined to be that way. The thought of that twisted destiny made something in Kate’s stomach turn.

         The first note had come in the middle of first semester and in the middle of Adam’s mathematics book. It wasn’t much; all that the bloody letters spelled was “Watch.” Page 666 was quickly removed, and the incident was forgotten until Ben’s social science text appeared with various profanities written on a picture of Martin Luther King, Jr., again written in blood. Page 666 was again trashed, but the memory of the offense wasn’t as quick to fade.

         Then the cultish aberrations began to hit closer to home. A few weeks after Ben had finished cleaning his textbook, Shandra and Kate had just set foot in their dorm room when they started screaming. The whole floor was soon at their door, gaping at the three-foot hole in the dormitory wall, a hole that looked wantonly created. As an added threat, the wall-space surrounding the hole had to been stained black with some sort of sordid tar. The counselor who appeared to investigate kindly suggested that the girls move to a different room for a few weeks.

         After that incident, gossip and speculation became the defining pastimes of the university. Rumors of curses, hauntings, witchcraft, and the occult spread like a fell cloud over the once-green campus. At the heart of the rumors were the five friends: Ben, Adam, Nole, Shandra, and Kate, who had suddenly become very popular if not infamous. In a perfect example of mankind’s perversity, students began to take bets on what ghastly ill would befall the friends yet. But no one predicted the tragedy of the new year.

         It had been a white Christmas. Beautiful snow still lay peacefully across the grounds when school began its spring term, and the purifying brilliance brought spirits back up. However, just after lunch, a new evil arose. Kate had been studying at the cafeteria with Ben when the news reached her. She didn’t believe her ears at first, but she and Ben quickly ran out of the lounge when they saw the college’s president sprinting toward the road that encircled the campus. Just a minute earlier, Kate had remarked to Ben about Adam and Shandra’s unusual lateness at bringing lunch. It wasn’t the first time the two had driven down the road to grab some food and bring it back to the campus. Adam would always go and grab some pizza, and Shandra would usually drive to the other side of town for subs. But it was the first time they’d both been almost ten minutes late.

         Kate had thrown up as soon as she crested the hill and the road came into view. Ben had cursed. Glass lay strewn across the road in violent patterns and the blood that leaked from what had once been a driver side door was frozen to the asphalt. Amidst the wreckage, it was almost impossible to tell Adam’s green Camry and Shandra’s silver Focus apart. They seemed to be simply a mass of metal twisted around two broken, yet familiar, bodies. The only thing that lay untouched, ironically, was Adam’s black cell phone.

         Kate had really only seen the wreck in pictures. She couldn’t bring herself to lift her face after her first glance as she reached the top of the snow-laden hill. Her tears had melted little craters in the innocent snow, craters that had never healed. No one on the campus spoke for five days. Classes were shut down until after the funeral.

When classes resumed, so did the talk of demonic activity. Everyone seemed to wonder how Adam and Shandra had managed to reach the same point at the same time, and how they both had turned toward each other, when both had spotless driving records. More intriguingly, they both had been talking on their cell phones, and each to a caller whose only identity was his number, all sixes. Was that mystery caller a man, a woman, or a demon of hell? became the consummate inquiry.

         For those who chose the mortal approach, fingers seemed to naturally point to Nole. He had been the one who was always absent during the sadistic events, most notably so when news of the freak accident tore through campus like a blood-red conflagration. He wouldn’t talk about his whereabouts, and most people were too scared to ask. Kate and Ben, when answered only by silence, stopped talking to Nole altogether. It was hard for them to think that he could have orchestrated such an atrocious crime, but at the same time they expectantly waited for some clue to emerge that would link Nole and his malicious work.

         That was why Kate and Ben immediately blamed themselves when they heard of Nole’s attempted suicide. They had been the first, and only, visitors Nole had at the hospital, where the jagged line of stitches on his wrists seemed to scare everyone else away. Kate hadn’t left his bedside until he had been released a day later. The occurrence had silenced the college’s talk about Nole, but it had not started any new conversations. Kate and Ben were Nole’s only friends.

But even as she tried to reach out to her reclusive friend, whom she had once doubted but who, it seemed, had been hardest hit by the accident, Kate couldn’t forget what she had seen at the hospital. The glance had come just after the Southerner’s, whose room Nole shared, heinous comment about how Nole had “probably bled black when he slit those dirty wrists of his.” The glance lasted only an infinitesimal second, but to Kate, it was undeniable. Kate was sure that she had caught a glimpse of hellfire in Nole’s eyes. It was a look that passed far beyond reasonable hate or anger. It was a look that didn’t seem possible for a human being to give, a look that seemed to come straight from Satan—if he existed—himself.

* * *

         These were the thoughts that had haunted Kate’s mind when she had first heard the sound of something shattering. All of them had come instantly, and were gone in an instant, but their draining evil was felt by Kate nonetheless. She broke out in a cold sweat. She had just finished drying off from her shower, and was slipping on a tank top when she heard it. Kate had given a little yell automatically and had knocked her Nike duffel bag onto the floor. The silence that ensued began to reassure Kate, and she slowly bent over and started collecting her scattered possessions. That was when the second crash had come.

         Though Kate had thought the first crash sounded like a window breaking, she was sure that was what the second crash was. Kate’s mind was racing. All the worst possible scenarios inevitably forced their way into her brain. And yet she knew what the crash had actually meant, and what had caused it. However, the truth was harder to swallow than the fanciful lies that generously flitted across her brain.

         Kate had been unsure of what to do, and so she had merely continued picking up her clothes and bottles. She stuffed them all into her duffel bag, and, as calmly as she could, shut her locker and walked out of the locker room. As soon as she had set foot inside the gymnasium, she knew that she had made a mistake. Kate let her duffel bag slowly drop to the ground, and then silently sneaked over to a pillar that supported the roof. Kate put her back to the pillar, and then slid down it until she was sitting on the ground, her knees pulled desperately toward her chest. Her only hope was to make herself as small as possible, and to pray that he didn’t see her.

* * *

         Kate had been sitting against the pillar for an eternity when she finally heard the footsteps. Before, her only comfort had been the soft glow of the exit sign across the gym. She had wanted to run toward it and hope for the impossible, but her fear compelled her to stay. Nothing made any sense, and Kate was afraid that she was going to die.

         Nole’s footsteps patted softly against the gymnasium floor. Kate heard the sinister sound of his quiet footfalls reverberating through the darkness long before his body materialized. She couldn’t be sure that the intruder was Nole at all, but at the same time she was certain. A collection of doubts that had plagued her mind for some time had come flying back with the crashes. This time, they were more than just doubts. Before long, Nole’s lanky shape became visible in the darkness, outlined in white as if the aura of an angel surrounded him. Kate remembered something she’d once heard about Satan being an angel too. Nole seemed to know that Kate wasn’t surprised to see him. His haloed form drifted in front of Kate and came to rest a few feet from her invaded sanctuary.

         “Was it really that obvious…Kate?” Nole asked innocently, pausing before uttering her name as if unsure whether it should be a declared a blessing or a curse. He walked a few more steps in silence before saying, “Please, Kate. Don’t act so scared. No one else is watching you.” He seemed to think he was offering encouragement. Only silence met his inquisition.

         “No, Nole, it wasn’t obvious,” Kate whispered finally and hoarsely. She could feel tears burning the backs of her eyes as she looked up at Nole. A sliver of light shone on him, making him the only discernable feature in the gymnasium. “I should’ve known for a long time, but I only realized just now.”

         “I’m sorry for you,” Nole answered sympathetically. His original intention for his words was a mystery to Kate, but she couldn’t bring herself to ask. Nole took a step to his right as if pondering her reply. “What was it that gave me away?” he then asked smoothly.

         “The hellfire in your eyes.”

         “No! Don’t say such a thing, Kate!” Nole retorted. “There is no hellfire in my eyes. My eyes view only God.”

         “Damn you and your lies,” Kate snapped back, meaning every word. “I’ve had enough of them.”

         “I am sorry again,” Nole replied quietly. “There must always be pain before redemption.”

         “You’re lying again,” Kate breathed.

         “No, that’s the truth. There must always be pain before redemption,” Nole repeated. “I am simply sorry that the ones I love most must be the ones to suffer.”

         “Stop it!” Kate shouted. “You don’t care and you know it.”

         “No, no, no, you’ve got me all wrong,” Nole started. “I tried to end this suffering for you, but it only made things worse. Only you and Ben showed up at my hospital bed. I knew then that my blood would never bring about the revolution.”

         “What is it you’re trying to do?” Kate asked bitterly. Her eyes flitted to the exit sign across the gymnasium, but she felt more like a trapped animal than ever.

         “I am trying to bring society back to the way it was. We need to go back to the times when we prayed in schools, when we were ‘one nation under God.’” Nole took a step back into the light, blocking Kate’s view of the exit sign. There appeared to be something in his hands that he was fingering.

         “If there is a God,” Kate answered, “he doesn’t want what you’re doing.”

         “No, you’re wrong again. There can’t be light without darkness. If there is no darkness, then no one realizes that they live in the light. That is what has happened to us. We have lived in the light of God’s blessing for so long that we’ve forgotten all about him! What we need is a little evil so that we run into his arms again! That is what I must do, force men and women alike to run to their Creator. This is my crusade!”

         “What do you want with me, Nole?” Kate finally asked. “I don’t need to hear your sick theories.”

         “No, you do. Because you will be the greatest testament to them. You will be the last straw. Haunted by your memory, people will run from the darkness into the light! Don’t you see?” The words rolled right off Nole’s tongue as if they were the most natural words in the world. He had stopped pacing.

         “So, you’ll kill me then? Do you really think that will accomplish anything, Nole?” Kate half-asked, half-pleaded.

         “Of course it will. It will mean all the difference. ‘The blood of the martyrs is the seed of the church.’ This is the only way that God can be shown.” Nole sounded resolute.

         “What God is it that you serve?” Kate knew that her chances to save herself were numbered.

         “The only God worth serving,” Nole laughed. “I’m sorry, Kate, but there’s no escape. I’ve made up my mind.” With that, Nole brought his hands apart, stretching out whatever had been betwixt his fingers. It looked like Nole was holding a limp snake. Kate immediately shrank back. Nole took a step toward her and gave what could almost be called a kindly smile. “Don’t worry, Kate. It won’t bite,” he said.

         Nole reached out and grabbed Kate’s left wrist. As he did so, Kate let out a short yell. The hellfire was burning in his eyes more brightly than before. The eyes flitted up and stared at her as if to chastise her for her shout. Kate’s mouth clamped shut involuntarily.

         The coils of the rope felt cool against Kate’s skin. Kate had expected to feel the sting of a viper’s fangs on her wrist, but she realized that it had all been a show. Nole looped the rope around both of Kate’s wrists, and then slid it down until it was almost around her hands. He then pulled it taut, evoking a muffled grunt from Kate. Her bewilderment frightened her more than anything else.

         “Don’t worry, Kate, the rope won’t do any harm. It’s just to hold you still,” Nole said with a sincere smile. Looking into his face was like looking into that of a fallen angel.

         Nole quickly pulled a knife from his other pocket and flipped it open. Kate finally understood the nature of the rope, and started to scream at the top of her lungs. Nole quickly knelt down and clamped a sweaty hand over her mouth.

“Please don’t make me do this, Kate. Can’t you just hold still for me? Just think of all the souls your death will save,” Nole whispered comfortingly.

         Kate writhed more violently. Her eyes grew wide with terror as Nole raised the knife in the air as if to see if he could catch a fell beam from the moon on its naked blade. Unsuccessful, he brought it back down again with its savage edge pressed against Kate’s right wrist. Tiny goosebumps raised along the line it was about to trace.

         Then, with a roar, the blade went slack. Kate heard the knife clatter to the ground with a sting as warm blood splattered her face. She could feel a mass pressing into her chest, and something sticky resting on her face. She opened her eyes and screamed.

         Kate didn’t stop screaming until she fell hard onto the gymnasium floor a few feet away from Nole’s crumpled body. She didn’t have to look to know that it was Nole’s blood that covered her face, blood that had exploded from what had once been Nole’s cranium. His skull seemed to be scattered throughout the immediate area, as if his head had been burst by an unseen bullet. As she turned her head fearfully back to the pillar, Kate realized that she had been right. Right above the place where her left shoulder had been, a depression the size of a bullet was etched in the concrete wall. It looked like a massive crater, much bigger than the ones her tears had made in the snow. Kate imagined her saved body lying in the cleansing snow as she drifted out of reality.

* * *

         The shouts and clangings awoke Kate from her sleep. She tried to sit up, but a blackness engulfed her as she vomited. Kate stagger-crawled away from her nausea, and then collapsed again. She could barely breathe; she felt as if the dark air was suffocating her with malice. Just as Kate was sure she would pass out, a light shone over her and, in a second, the gymnasium erupted with light. Kate’s eyes burned with the intensity, and soon many hands were on her, turning her over, asking her questions. After about a minute, the world began to be clear again.

         “Miss, are you hurt?” was the first thing that Kate heard. The voice seemed to register to an orange shape kneeling beside her. Kate deduced that the form belonged to a paramedic, and shook her head. She looked down and noticed that her wrists were a bright red from were the rope had bitten her.

         Kate stole a glance back toward the pillar. Within a second, nausea came over her again and forced her to turn her head back around. But she had seen the body bag being pulled over Nole, and the county Sheriff shaking his head in disbelief.

         “Hey, look at me,” the voice of the paramedic said. Kate looked up into his trusting eyes. She didn’t trust trusting eyes anymore. “It’s alright. You’re going to be ok,” the medic assured her. “But we need to know what happened.” Kate nodded, but didn’t say a word. “What happened to you? It’s alright, you can tell me,” the medic repeated. Kate still wasn’t sure she could trust him, and even if she had she didn’t feel like speaking.

         “Is she ok?” a new, booming voice inquired. The medic turned around and stood up, allowing Kate to notice the stranger who had just entered the gym. He was a tall, heavily built man with a full gray beard. He wore an FBI t-shirt and jeans, and his face was a mix of grim strength and honest concern.

         “Who are you?” a voice that Kate recognized as the Sheriff’s asked. As if on cue, the body of the Sheriff took a few fierce steps toward the man and into Kate’s view.

         “Name’s Gus Paul,” the stranger replied. “I’m the one who shot that young man there.” Everything in the gymnasium seemed to come to a halt. The Sheriff stood still for a moment, then motioned to one of his deputies. The deputy quickly moved over and slapped handcuffs on Gus Paul.

         “Stop!” The words seemed to fly out of Kate’s mouth. She was somewhat surprised by her own voice. She had forgotten what it sounded like. The deputy froze in mid-motion. The Sheriff turned towards Kate, looking for the source of the sound. “He saved my life,” was all that Kate managed to say. She wasn’t even sure whether that was a good reason to not arrest a man, but the words came out on their own. The Sheriff paused and eyed Kate peculiarly, and then motioned for the deputy to continue.

         “That may be, Miss, but he’s still got to be taken in for now,” the Sheriff replied after a moment. “He’s killed a man.” Kate felt her nausea coming back.

         “I’m prepared to pay for my actions, Kate, long as you’re ok,” Gus Paul said in his deep and kindly voice. It was then that Kate recognized the man as the same who’d moved to the area the year before after retiring from the FBI sniper squad. She had been to his house for dinner a few times. He was constantly having students from the college over to his house on Saturday nights, and he would always invite them to his church the next morning. Kate remembered that his house overlooked the gymnasium, and that he could actually see in through the gym’s sole window.

         “How did you know?” Kate asked, her mind whirling through an imaginary labyrinth.

         “Can’t say. Sometimes, I just know what the right thing to do is. Seems to be the way God works with me,” Gus Paul replied with a grim smile. “I do feel sorry for that young man, though. It’s a pity what our world is coming to.” At the Sheriff’s nod, the deputy began to draw Gus out through the gym’s open door.

         “Wait!” Kate called. She had somehow managed to get to her feet and hobble toward the doorway. The deputy again paused, and the Sheriff for once didn’t seem to mind. The deputy let go of Gus’ handcuffs and let him walk toward Kate. She neared him and then asked impulsively, “Nole said that what he was doing was right. He said that people needed to turn to God, and that he had to create evil to turn them toward the light. He said there couldn’t be light without darkness.” Gus nodded.

         “What Nole didn’t realize, God help him, is that God is light. God doesn’t need darkness to exist; that is simply a lie of Nole’s god—Satan. Nole was tricked by the greatest deceiver of them all. He thought that bringing visible evil to the world would scare people into believing in God. Well…maybe he was right. Certainly God would never condone such tactics, but I think Nole may have been on to something,” Gus paused a moment to let the words sink in. “Have you ever wondered why we don’t see demons much anymore? Well, I’d say that’s because Satan’s got us all right where he wants us without his minions. All he needs is to keep us focused on ourselves and our possessions, which we do a pretty good job of naturally these days, and keep our focus off of what’s really important. That’s what he tries to do to us every day. And for all his misguided passion, Nole wasn’t a part of that plan. Everyone who follows Satan ends up outliving their usefulness eventually. Unfortunately, that was tonight for Nole. In the end, there’s only one fate for those who seek the evil one. Death.” With his last word, Gus looked sadly over to where Nole’s body had been laid out. “I just wish it hadn’t of been me who brought that to him. But there’s not much that can be done about that now, is there?” Gus looked back over at Kate and smiled comfortingly. Kate looked uneasy.

         “Do you wish you hadn’t shot Nole?” she asked Gus.

         “Yes,” Gus answered, “I certainly do. I’m always saddened when a man is sent to an early grave, but I don’t regret it. It would’ve been even more worse if he’d taken you with him.” Gus finished with a sigh. Then, suddenly, he winked and looked over at the Sheriff. “Put in a good word for me, will you?” Kate nodded amiably. She felt like she was back in elementary school, but she was content.

         “But why do you think Nole did all those things?” she wondered aloud. Gus paused a moment, then answered her.

         “Who can say?” he asked in return. “Satan isn’t so dumb that he can’t make himself look attractive. He certainly has some kind of demonic power, and power has corrupted many a good man. The main thing is that no one is safe that’s apart from God’s protection,” Gus stopped, then started again slowly. “Would you like to visit my church sometime? Once I’m out of these chains, that is,” he said, gesturing with his head towards the hands that were clasped behind his back. Kate looked at him for a moment, and then nodded. Gus smiled.

         Gus Paul turned and walked back toward the gym’s doorway. He and the deputy passed through and quickly disappeared into the night. Then, suddenly, Gus stopped and turned back toward Kate.

         “Did I mention what made me notice you struggling with Nole?” he called. Kate shook her head imperceptibly, but Gus seemed to understand her anyways. “The trees were blocking some of the moonlight through the gymnasium window, and you two were illumined in a cross of light.” With that, Gus walked over to the police car and calmly climbed in.