The Memoirs Of Insanity

      My Dear Home,
              I couldn't help but think that my so-called life was pointless. I lived all these years yet never achieved a single morsal of accoplishment. Was it because I was trying to hard to be liked by a group of people who didn't moraly accept me? I really need to see a pyschologist--- Someone who can see inside my worthless head and twist my mind until eventually I thought like everybody else. No? Im a unique individual who deserves this. No. You know, some say Im still very young, I agree completey, but yet how I feel, I feel as though I have lived for years and years just to be accepted into society and yet I still remain an outcast---One who stares and stands next to a bubble of people who are so cheery and happy. Nothing could go wrong for them and when something does go wrong there smiles make it all better. I don't believe its money I desire nor is it life. I desire the longing and wanting of being needed. Wheres my family at, you ask? I really don't know, nor do I care. They've never lifted a finger to help me with my struggling attributes to life. Do I have a personality? I don't know. On the outside I seem like a happy go lucky girl that seems like shes reaching for the stars. I realize my soul and body are seperate and they will never interlink until the day I die. Death? Death itself doesn't scare me its after death that shivers down my spine.  Where do we go? Do we just shut off like robots with no batteries or do we continue on into a different world? I don't know the answers , but I believe no one has the answers to life, how could they? If every living thing knew the answers to life there would be years and years of chaos and no peace would be on this earth. I realize that whomever is reading this my intellect is very dark and twisted. I understand its disturbing, but it shouldnt get in the way of what kind of person I am. A psycological mess--a person who will never get off there feet and start doing because all we do is think. Our brain twists and turns as though, it doesnt exactly know whats going on. My brains apart of my body and not my soul. I sometimes wonder where my true body is and whether or not were a perfect match. When I look at things I see them more complex then others. This is done by my soul. My body controls my actions. I seem to look as though I belong but my feelings are different. When I feel, I feel unhappy and my heart hurts. I can actually feel my heart hurting.
                                                                              Trusting
                                                                              Layla