The Perfect End To My 20th Birthday

         I knocked loudly on the door to his house, a friend answers, I peep around the corner. He greeted me in a delighted yet not-too-involved way. I plopped myself down on a love seat nearby in a rather ungraceful way for a young woman (now in her twenties) in a short dress. Being drunk felt so good then in his house, it was warm and familiar.

<p>          Some time passed with laughter and a little beer before it was time for everyone to sleep (it was already coming close to daylight outside and my party was long over). I thought it would be proper to ask where I should sleep then I decided that I wasn’t going to take any chances so I gracefully walked into his room and buried my face in his pillows. For a small bed with flat pillows and scratchy sheets it was the best bed that I’d ever been in. He offered me a tee shirt and boxers, I declined the latter and changed while he looked away.

<p>          The lights were off, and so were his pants, as we lay there. It was an intriguing silence, I think that we both felt that. My arm was above my head as I normally sleep and we were facing each other, I felt the heat from his hand close to mine. After a minute or two I put my hand in his. Soon after my leg draped slightly over his and everything was perfect.

<p>          Our faces were so close that I could feel his breath on me, I went for it and suddenly things started going wrong. I kissed him, his lips felt confused and not accepting. I was so confused and he let out a slight giggle. That was the moment that I felt like my whole body was going to turn into ashes and I would just get blown away with his next exhalation. He had made me feel like I was appalling yet two seconds before we were cuddling like I was his. I whispered for him to kiss me in a raspy sleepy voice and the details of what he had said has now slipped away in my memory but I do remember him not being excited about it. I was shocked and confused and then he said “I’ll give you a kiss because it’s your birthday.” I was so hurt, but it was the best kiss of my life. There was no tongue, just his mouth taking in my top lip and I had his bottom lip, that is how it was supposed to be, the best kiss of my life. I didn’t try and keep the kiss going because I was afraid that if I moved his mouth would slip away.

<p>          The kiss ended and we laid there for a while chatting about things and I can remember tickling his stomach. Every time I moved my fingernails over his stomach he would contract his abdominals in a really beautiful way. Time passed and we fell eventually fell asleep.

<p>          I felt like my phone wouldn’t stop ringing that morning, but at the same time I hoped he would wake up and realize that he wanted me more than anyone in the world. I was awake watching him sleep, I felt crazy but I couldn’t control it. I had woken up far away from him so I scooted myself over very close to him and then I felt him stir. I moved back so he wouldn’t be disturbed and he grabbed me and pulled me close. It was perfect. In that moment I felt wanted. That was one of those moments that you live your life for. I tried to inhale every bit of that moment that I could.

<p>          I’m deciding to leave out the rest, because it is unnecessary. It was the best night because I got to be with him and in his presence is where I feel most wonderful. I wish he felt the same about me but now I know he at least likes the way I feel next to him in the morning. That gives me something to feel good about.