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Rated: E · Fiction · Fantasy · #1455035
The beginning of a story I found on a blog today. Please, tell me what you think.
I found this on a blog today, and was wondering what you thought of it as a story... minus the grammatical errors of course::


A Recollection

I have something I want to share with you.

I suppose everyone has a story to tell, mine just may be… a little bit… unexpected, a little different, if you will. Now please keep in mind that this recollection I will be passing on to you, will be given in as truest of form as I can give it. I am no scholar, writer, poet, or bard. I do not profess to know the ins and outs of writing or of the “English” language. I am merely a story teller, wishing to pass on a bit of experience and knowledge that may prove helpful as you travel along your own lifes journey. My name is Moldivar, and this is a story…

Let’s see here… where to begin… Well… I met Drake on a caravan headed into the East. It was muddy and misty… I’m sorry, telling this from purely my perspective will just not do the story justice. Let’s start with Drake. Drake was a handsome young man. His looks, however wesn’t the reason he attracted so much female attention. It was his shyness…





“Draaaake, have you ever been kissed by a girl before?” Rosalin asked. Her girlfriends, Kenza and Anarill, giggled behind her as Drake began to blush. He threw the sack of grain onto the cart and bent over to pick up another, trying to act as if he hadn’t heard her over the sound of sheep being herded through the middle of town. “Drake, I know you heard me! I said have you ever been kissed by a girl before?” Drake picked up the sack of grain and stacked it on top of the other ones in the cart then turned and met her gaze, his shoulders sagged, and forehead sweaty. He spoke soft but sure “No, why do you want to know?” He bent down and began loading the remaining sacks of grain. “Now Drakiee dear, you’re telling me, that in all of your seventeen years, you have never once kissed a girl?” He threw the last sack as far to the front of the cart as he could, then turned towards her. “My name’s not Drakiee Rosalin…” he walked around the side of the cart, “… and no.” He climbed up into the driver’s seat and leaned over as he looked impatiently into the store to see what was keeping his father. “Well…” Rosalin shuffled to the front of the cart, her red wavy hair flying in the breeze “… don’t you ever wonder what it feels like? Don’t you just want to try it?”

“What took you so long?” Drake said as his father came out of the store and climbed into the seat with him. “Wolves” His father growled back. Rosalin slid her hand up and rested it on Drake’s boot. “I lied Rosalin, when I was young my mother would give me a kiss every night after she tucked me in… I suppose that is what it feels like to be kissed by a girl.” He slapped the reins and the horses pulled them away. Rosalin, looked after him for a moment, then puffed as she marched away.

“Boy, I swear, I don’t know what your problem is. You, always seem to be runnin from some pretty little thing takin a fancy to you. I would’ve given anything to have had your problem. Why, I had to tip a boat over on your mother to get her interested in me.” ”You just don’t understand dad, I am just not interested in women right now… I have too much to do.” ”Too much to do… you still want to get out of here huh? See the world and such… well, I can’t say that I blame you. I wish I would have when I was your age. But, Your adventuring is going to have to wait until after the harvest. That’s only a few more weeks away, and I will be needing your help up on the North ridge. I was talking to old man Gillan in the store there, and he said there are all kinds of farmers coming into his store and complaining about wolves killing their sheep and cattle. Atleast, they think its wolves, could be something else.”

“Bears?”

“Possibly, they don’t really know. Just a lot of sheep and cattle turning up missing. Occasionally they find some remains, I just don’t want to loose any more of the herd before winter than I have too. You know how winters are up here, I’ll loose enough of them to the ice and snow as it is. I just hope this winter won’t be as bad as the last.”

The wheels squeaked as the cart tumbled out of town and down the narrow valley road. Fall was beginning to set in and the trees were beginning to show it. The branches that reached out to create a sparse canopy over the road were now a mixture or red, orange, yellow, and green. Straight ahead, leaves could be seen constantly falling off of the trees and floating, ever so gently, to the ground. Fall here was usually very short, not lasting more than five or six weeks before it turned into full blown winter.

The distinct smell of the honeyberry trees wafted over them as they crossed the mountain stream. That stream was this valleys life blood. It meandered its way down from the mountains and fed all of the farms, towns, and villages in the valley. His father said that it ran all the way to the ocean. Swallowing up smaller tributerys the whole way, until before you knew it, it was one big roaring river. His father had been down it once when he was a boy. It was after the invasion, and all of the boys and young men had to be sent to the new empire’s capitol city for what they called “placement”. Apparently, the new emperor thought the new kingdom would be run smoother if he could micro-manage the labor force, and his armies at the same time. So, he had them all sent to “placement camps” where they took a series of tests. Large athletic city boys were put into the army. Large athletic country boys, like Drakes father, had been trained in the militia and sent back to wherever they were from to farm. Smaller boys that were smart, were put into schools, monasteries, and academys. And then there were the unfortunates… boys that were naturally small, and not gifted with very much intelligence had their hands branded with the tip of a sword, to mark them as unfortunates. These boys were stuck working as servants, stallboys, or leased out as endentured servants by the emperor. In this way he could cut taxes and still have plenty of money coming in. Eventually most of these boys earned their freedom, and ventured off on their own, starting their own life. However, unfortunates we’re forbidden from marrying or having children, and if one did, and was caught, the consequence was death for all of them. They did the same with the girls, just not on such a selective scale. It was basically if you were healthy, strong, and somewhat attractive, then you were left alone to live your life in whatever way you wanted. If you were sickly, too skinny or too fat, or just down right ugly… well, you got branded as unfortunates as well, and were basically in the same situation as the male unfortunates. There were several small communities of unfortunates now, never any children though, or officially married couples. They found ways to get around the laws, and orphanages in the bigger cities have had a steady increase in door dropped babies over the last decade or two. But no one can really ever pin anything on the unfortunates.

Drakes father had always told him to feel lucky about their placement. “Don’t take your freedoms and placement for granted” he would always say, “you can be and do whatever you like, while others can’t, that is a strong responsibility. Live your life in a way that brings joy to you.” His father was kind of a dreamer. Hoping that one day Drake could live out his adventures for him… to see the world.

The dogs went crazy when the wagon came into view of the house. They barked and howled and tripped over on another as they scrambled down the road to meet their returned masters. They pulled the wagon around the side of the house and over by the barn.

“You unload this, and I’ll go start fixin us up some dinner.” Drakes father mumbled as he climbed awkwardly off the cart. Drake watched as his father started making his way towards the house, holding the small of his back.

“Alright… Don’t worry about it! I’ll just unload this all by yourself then! … you lazy old man.” His father waved him off without turning around. Drake cracked a smile and chuckled to himself as he began unloading the sacks of grain into the barn. He had seen that man work more than anyone else in his life. He always hoped he would have the same energy and can-do attitude that his father had. As he hefted the last bag out of the cart he heard a lone wolf raise it’s voice somewhere off up the mountain. Drake tossed the bag into the barn and looked in the direction of the howling.

The sun was setting over the other side of the mountain now, casting a fast moving shadow across the valley floor. He watched as the shadows of trees moved across the southern field and were eventually engulfed by the shadow of the mountains. Wolves are getting hungry awfully early this year. He thought, walking back to the house.

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