Unicorns Anonymous

Chad either woke up or regained consciousness, the difference being subtle and relatively unimportant. It had been another night of hard drinking. His cotton mouth and searing headache…par for the course.

Sitting up cautiously, he reached for the bottle by his pillow. The unexpected sound of a toilet flushing instantly caught his attention. The door opened and a pure white unicorn came ambling out. The animal casually walked across the bedroom, throwing a glance Chad’s way with obvious indifference. It nudged the bedroom door open with its horn and walked out into the other room. The sound of the television suddenly coming to life added to the man’s befuddlement.

Chad was up in an instant; a big mistake. The headache smacked him like a sledge hammer.

Ignoring the pain, he chased after the animal. ‘I must be having a hallucination or something,’ he thought. In the living room he found the unicorn in front of the T.V. It was watching an apparent soap opera on a local Spanish speaking channel. A piece of pepperoni was hanging from the side of its mouth.

“Are you a hallucination?”

The unicorn looked at him and said, “Yo quiero fajitas y juevos.” It then broke wind with sufficient gusto to cause its tail to flap like a flag.

‘Great,’ he thought, ‘a talking unicorn that speaks Spanish.’

He had a problem. He knew that was the first step. Online, he found a group that might help. They all had the same problem as him.

Luckily, there was a local meeting today. He walked into the small room with a dozen or so other people sitting around. Once the meeting started, the leader asked, “Are there any newcomers here tonight?”

Chad raised his hand shyly and said, “My name is Chad and I see unicorns.”

Word count 300