All Hours: one A.M.

Alright: A refresher, shall we?
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“I mean that Chris took some acid and God told him to go on a safari and look for a duck.” I suddenly recognized the moronic drunk. It was my boyfriend. Chris had a habit of slipping into third person when he was high and I wondered momentarily if my acidic tone had gotten him up even more. I shut the phone angrily and glanced at the clock on the wall: 1:02.
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Okay, now the next bit:
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I decided to pick up Christopher, so he couldn’t get into more trouble. I stumbled out to my car. I, myself, was moving much slower than usual, being awake for more than sixty hours without sleep… Everything moved in slow motion. It took me ten minutes to get to my car. I fell twice. I conducted my car through the empty streets of Lee’s Summit to the only pub, where Chris would be without a doubt, sitting on a stool waiting for a duck because God asked him to wait. As I neared the pub I could see a drunken trio parade the parking lot. In the middle was a rather tall, rather plastered man. “That’s my boyfriend.” I muttered under my breath as I watched them approach my car. Colin and James, his two shot buddies were supporting him. I cruised up next to them and decided to take them all home. The cab company should send me flowers tomorrow, I thought, as the trio piled into the car. I could smell the alcohol off of Colin and James even though they occupied the back seat.
“Hey, baby.” Chris said to me, leaning across the consol for a kiss. I pushed him in the chest hard. He looked down at my hand, clear confusion painting his features. “Why are you doing that, baby?” he asked me, his words slurred.
“I’m not kissing you when you smell like that, hot stuff.” I said and firmly pushed Chris back into the seat, buckling his seatbelt around him.
“Hey!” Chris said suddenly, sounding very sober. I looked up at him, momentarily confused. The moment passed when I saw his face. He was trying his hardest to ‘dazzle’ me, but the drunk smile ruined it. “You shouldn’t be putting belts on, silly!” He laughed. “You should-“ he had to stop so he could breathe. He was laughing quite loudly. He continued through chuckles. “You… should be… taking them… off!!” I inwardly groaned. But I decided I should sober him up a bit. So I took off my seatbelt but kept his hooked. I smiled at him, then with a glance at the backseat, I momentarily stopped. Colin and James were occupied in an embrace that I was planning for Chris and myself.
“I knew it.” I muttered, and turned my attention back to my grinning, drunk boyfriend. I leaned over the consol and kissed his neck just below his ear, blowing on it softly. Chris giggled. I decided to get in a more proper position to pull this off. I slid over the offending consol and onto Chris’s lap. His grin got bigger. I smiled at him sweetly before returning my attention to his neck. I focused on the soft spot just below his ear, kissing, licking, and continuing to blow on it. I raised my head to his ear and whispered into it softly, “You have no idea what I wanted to do tonight.”  His breathing hitched instantly. I smirked and returned to kissing his neck.
“And what is that?” I was glad to hear that his voice, though unsteady, was laced thick with lust and not drugs.
“Well, I was going to show you, hot stuff…” I ground my hips into his softly. “But then you had to go and get smashed.” I pushed off him quickly and hopped back into my seat. I put my seatbelt on quickly and turned on the car. “Tidy up, boys, put on your seatbelts.” Colin and James pulled away from each other, looking somewhat less sober than they had when they entered the car, and buckled their belts without complaint. I drove James home, politely tuning out Colin’s goodbye and turned on the radio. I shot a glance at Chris, who looked frustrated, hostile, and sober. Success! I cheered in my brain. When James was gone, I dropped Colin off at his apartment and headed home. On my way, my cell phone buzzed… again. I glanced at the caller ID and saw it was from my grandmother. Confused, I opened the phone.
“Hello?”
“Olives, dear. Oh my! Can you help me? I fell down the stairs and I don’t know if I can get up on my own!” my grandmother sounded desperate.
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A/N: Ha! I've actually had a friend call me and tell me that God told them to go on a safari and find a duck. They weren't on acid, just drunk... and they thought it was funny, which I suppose it was. Anyway- Review, my squirrels!!