Heat Of A Relationship

Three locals trains passed by before the Awadh Express came, all filled with people to the brim. I was hoping to meet some eye candy. As the siren sounded, mom screamed,
“Check your wallets and mobiles. You go first with the green bag and head straight to-”
“I KNOW!”
I shouted as I realized everyone around on the platform was staring at her.
“Fine, fine. I just thought, oh well forget it.”

As I passed each section, I motivated myself that there would be at least one who would make my trip memorable. Finally, I had to settle for a young, slightly heavy girl, who was sleeping in our section. Although not attractive at first glance, we exchanged a couple of looks. I couldn’t make out a lot from that but she definitely did. At around midnight, she poked me and whispered,
“Hey, what’s wrong with you?”
I stared at her for a moment, trying to digest the fact that our first conversation just started because something was wrong with me. I smiled and replied,
“Its you, I mean your nose. It’s peculiar, funny actually.”
She guessed I was faking it, so (I think), she deliberately continued to ask,
“How?”
I stared at her again. I had not expected this.
“I don’t know. It’s a little disproportionate.”
What was I saying? Funny and disproportionate nose? She smiled, which I guessed meant that the topic was over. I was relieved.
“Where are you going?”
I asked to quickly change the topic. She paused for a moment to think. Why would she do that?
She then replied,
“Baroda.  I am going back home because Mumbai doesn’t suit me.”
She finished the sentence with a distorted face.
“Ahan. I stay in Bombay; it isn’t that bad.”
“Oh no, the city is pretty good, much bigger then Baroda. But, the climate doesn’t suit me. I am allergic to sunlight.”
Is anyone allergic to sunlight? How could they have survived till now? She guessed what I was thinking and continued,
“Like, I can’t stand near a fire because the light from it hurts. I couldn’t believe it as well.”
“Oh.”
“No, it’s a good thing. This way, I don’t have to cook!”
I didn’t how to react to this as well. I looked at her hands, they were freckled and white. She wore a bracelet made of, I think, diamonds. Must’ve been fake. I could see the veins running the length and couldn’t help imagining the effects of sunlight on them. What if they burst and the blood oozes out with tiny cells that suddenly mutate into larger ones with eyes and hands and saliva dripping all over? I had to stop.

It had been 4 hours since we had started talking. Surat had just gone by and we were already looking at each other in the eyes. It felt as if we connected involuntarily. Some of the things she said would’ve sounded like gibberish otherwise but it made perfect sense to me. We were standing right outside the door to the coach, near the heavy bolted gate. The train rocked sporadically and so did we, hands held and staring at each other. We laughed carelessly into the night. All our sorrows and failings were forgotten that night, as we entrusted ourselves in each other. The occasional wind slapped on our faces, almost reminding us of our innumerable sins. We both hated ourselves and that I think made us. Eyes closed and fingers entwined, we fell for each other.

“Look, that old lady has been standing there for a couple of minutes now. Maybe she can’t open the door.”
I looked up from my berth and saw Sayali, staring across the alley to her right, her chin resting on her fist. I had been dreaming for a long time about possible outcomes of my life. In all of them, she was present in some way or the other. I climbed down and walked towards the lady. She followed. As we neared the door, she nudged me to stop.
“Is the AC off in this place?”
“Hmm, I think so too. Maybe that’s why she standing there, maybe its cooler outside.”
“Let’s go back na”
“Wait, let’s go outside once and check it out.”
“You go, I’ll be back in my seat.”
We kissed each other on the cheek and I moved on. As I moved closer to the door, it felt and hotter and hotter. The glass door was glowing and I peeped through it. She was still riveted at her position, staring straight ahead. I pulled the door with both the hands and made my way out of the coach. By now, it had gotten even hotter. I realized the train was still. I turned around to head back into the coach. Why should I care if some old lady was staring into nothingness in the middle of the night on a train, stuck in the middle of nowhere? But, as soon as I looked at the reflection in the door, I realized why I should care.
“Ma’am, you mind?”
I signaled her to follow me inside the coach.
“No, I am waiting for my husband to come back. He had gone about fifteen minutes ago.”
“But I really think you should leave this place. You don’t understand, it’s not safe.”
I wanted to tell her why I really wanted her come back into the coach; her husband wasn’t coming back. I had to tell Sayali and my family first. They had to be safe. A sense of urgency upset my mood.
I stopped asking the lady and pushed the glass door, which was dangerously glowing by now. I rushed towards mine and her seats. I screamed,
“We have got to get down the train now.”
A hundred thoughts rushed into my mind as soon as I stopped saying that. The endless possibilities, the blame-game, headlines and worst of all...NO, I couldn’t think of that right now.
“Huh? Wha...What happened?”
Mom woke up slowly, she had no idea, nor did Dad, Sayali or her parents. I switched on the light and explained everything to them. They were flabbergasted. I ran to all the sections screaming out the warning. Ridiculed, shouted at and mocked, I continued to warn people. One of them followed me out of the coach to the place where the old lady was standing, still. He was left speechless and went back inside to caution others.
“He is not coming back, please, I beg of you. You HAVE to leave!”
She stood, ignorant of our cautioning. It suddenly got louder and hotter, even with the AC on full blast. There were screams and cries for space, there were fights. In a tussle for space, I was jammed into the wrist of an old man and I saw the time, 4.30. I saved myself somehow, running over a small kid’s body lying on the floor, and ran back to our section. I couldn’t find Sayali, but I found her mom screaming through the emergency window, which somebody had blasted. I bent down and felt excruciating pain. I couldn’t remember how I had hurt myself but it immobilized me. Sayali’s face appeared before me and I felt peace. For, what it must have been at least a couple of minutes, there was serenity. I bent down again to look where her mother was looking. Sayali’s father was standing there with their luggage.
“Is she down? I can’t move, AHH...”
She screamed and I could feel my back hurting even more. I ran back to the door, where my mom was trying to push the suitcase off the door onto the ground below. I told her to get off the train and think about the luggage later. I ran back to the section to tell Sayali’s mother to run as well, but she shoved me aside when she heard me.
“MOVE! I have to get my daughter first!”
“Isn’t she down already?”
“NO! Move I said! MOVE!”
I couldn’t believe it, where could she be? She had to be down; what if she stayed on the train to help? Shaking my head and wiping blood off my face, I ran back to the door.
“Beta, find Papa. He’s not here.”
I was shocked and confused. Sayali probably went to the old lady to save her? I turned around to look away from the white and miserable face of my mother. Sayali, if I was right, must have gone left. Papa had to be inside the coach, which was towards my right. Angry with myself that I had put myself in this position and the fact that I am even thinking of which choice to make, I broke into tears...



I could barely hear the repeating beeps of the ECG, as I stared through the glass window in the door of the ICU. Mom was lying there, half dead. Or half alive. It was unusually chilly in the corridor. I was drenched in sweat and blood. Every now and then, a light breeze would almost freeze me to death. Her face, white as a dove, told me everything I should’ve known at that time in the train.
“I can’t guarantee you anything. Brain death still hasn’t occurred. There is a little temple near the reception. That’s all I can say.”
The doctor was nice. I felt everybody was nice. I hated myself to the extent that I had to question my right to live.
The main door opened and I saw a short, young boy pushing a stretcher. Two people were walking behind him, both sobbing and occasionally breaking down. As the stretcher neared me, I saw something glisten. I couldn’t recognize the face. The bracelet in the hand sparkled and it hit me exactly where I feared. It should’ve dawned upon me then. The allergy wouldn’t have let her live any way. Was I god? Could I have saved her from the deadly heat of the fire? Sayali was stupid as well, jumping in the fire to save the old lady. But, this wasn’t the time. If anybody deserved anything horrible, it was me. I felt like a disease, inflicting damage to all innocent people. A spontaneous eruption inside consumed me and I stumbled back on to the door. My stomach did flip-flops and my head ached. The smell of burning flesh engulfed my senses and I started seeing and feeling things. I hadn’t gained control over myself before I heard the stretcher again. Terror stalked me once again. I knew the end was near. Out of breath and sweating, I opened my eyes to see the dead face of my father. Behind me, my mother and in front of me, lay my father. Maybe the relationship was too hot...


If everyone cared and nobody cried
If everyone loved and nobody lied
If everyone shared and swallowed their pride
Then we'd see the day when nobody died.
-          Nickelback