Short essay for I cry silently contest

I used to wonder how my life would have turned out had things been different all those years ago. If she had not died, if the wreck never happened. I catch myself smiling, thinking I could actually be a happy person today. I only know sadness and darkness now.
I am not one of the lucky few who wake up every morning with smiles on their face. The ones that look forward to getting up and starting their days.
I find myself laying with the covers over my head hoping God will give me the strength to get up and go on with the day. “Let me get my son raised, that’s all I ask.” I whisper with eyes welling up with tears. I am not sure how much more strength I have to fight my demons everyday; But I will keep fighting them till there is no strength left to fight with.
“Oh yes, I cry silently.