My betrayal

I never had what I would consider a girlfriend until my sophomore year in college at Indiana University of Pennsylvania.

I was not exactly really good with the girls in high school. In fact, my younger brother was the one who got all of the dates, including a couple of relationships with girls who were in the same year of school as me.

I started at IUP in the fall of 1983 and immediately began going to fraternity parties every Friday and Saturday night. I met several women at these parties, but nothing really came of any of those encounters.

I met Patti at a fraternity party in the spring semester of my sophomore year. She seemed like a nice girl and had a good sense of humor. She was overweight, but very pretty in my eyes.

We both had a few beers that night, and before long, we were starting to make out. I took her back to her room after the party and we made out some more. Nothing serious, just kissing. I finally had a bona fide girlfriend.

We kept seeing each other for several weeks. We were feeling pretty comfortable with each other.

There were several problems, though. For one, I liked to drink. A lot. Also, as a 20-year-old man, my hormones were in overdrive and I had only had sex one time in my life. I wanted to do it with Patti, but she never let me get past first base. I didn't push her to go further because I knew she wasn't comfortable with that.

There was one other problem: A girl named Marie, who Patti could not stand in the least bit.

One Friday night, I went to an early frat party by myself. Patti wasn't there, but Marie was. She knew I was dating Patti, and I think she was looking for a little revenge for whatever reason. Trying to steal Patti's boyfriend was the ultimate revenge.

As that party came to an end, Marie asked me if I would go to a 2 a.m. frat party after I met up with Patti at a midnight kegger. I was already getting kind of inebriated, but I told her I would try to meet her.

I went to the midnight party and hung out with Patti. But the drunker I got, the more I kept wanting 2 a.m. to get here so I could hook up with Marie. I figured Marie was wanting to have sex, and since I wasn't getting it from Patti, maybe this was my opportunity to get a little something on the side.

Well, 2 a.m. came around and I went to my third frat party of the night. Of course, Marie was there, and before long, we were all over each other. Needless to say, we weren't there very long.

We left the party and headed back to her dorm room. Her roommate had gone home for the weekend, so we had the place to ourselves.

About a minute after we got in the door, Marie got out of her clothes and it didn't take me long to follow. We laid down on her bed, one thing led to another and we ended up doing it. We did it again later and I spent the night there.

I left in the morning, wearing one of Marie's sweat shirts from the high school she went to in suburban Pittsburgh. I went back to my dorm room, and later went down the hall to another room.

It wasn't long before Patti, her roommate and another friend were in the hall of the dorm looking for me. I ducked my head out of the room I was in and saw them, then walked down the hall to meet them.

As soon as I went to meet them, I just knew that they knew what I had done. I later found out that Marie somehow got the word out that I had slept with her. She had gotten her revenge.

I went back to the room I was in and told the guy in there why I thought they were in the dorm. I then went back to my room, where the three girls were at this point. In Patti's roommate's hands was the evidence that showed I was guilty - Marie's sweat shirt.

"Whose is this?" her roommate asked, holding up the sweat shirt.

I knew I was caught. I had no choice but to confess to the crime.

"Marie's," I said.

With that, Patti's two friends showed their displeasure, to put it mildly, and left the room, leaving just Patti and I.

I'm not exactly sure what I said at this point. I don't know whether I apologized or asked her if she had anything to say.

"I'd say something, but I'm not that kind of girl," Patti said. And with that, she left my room. Relationship over.

Of course, I figured I had another girlfriend now, and I kept seeing Marie for a while. Everybody told me to stay away from her because she was bad news, but I wasn't using my head. Well, I was thinking with one head, it just wasn't the one that contained my brain.

Marie and I split up before the end of the semester. Frankly, by the time that happened, I was sick of dealing with her erratic mood swings, and I knew I was better off.

It took me a long time for me to really understand what truly happened. Marie really didn't have any interest in me. All she wanted was to get back at Patti for some stupid reason. And that really ended up angering me to no end.

As for Patti, I'm sure she has moved way past what happened. I don't know what she is doing or if she is married, but I hope she somehow is happy and has found it in her heart to forgive me for my betrayal.

I rarely think about all of this, but when I do, I realize how totally stupid I was. In one bad moment of judgment, maybe I got what I wanted at the time, but I truly hurt a very nice girl who didn't deserve what I did to her.