Snowflakes (Part 1)

Alice is such an angel. She always makes me proud. I remember a morning which must be the greatest morning I've ever had. That morning, Alice joined an inter-school on-the-spot painting competition and, ofcourse, she triumphed. Even if Alice has poor eyesight (she has worn contact lenses since she was five), her paintings are just magnificent. Her work for that contest was an image of a white wolf inside a forest blanketed with snow. Of course, I escorted her as she received her trophy. Every parent looked at her masterpiece with awe. I may sound too proud but, I can see that each of those parents had a tinge of envy on me -- the father of such a great talent. But I guess Alice is not the only reason why many people are jealous of me.

I am living a perfect life. That is, what most of them would say. I am tall, blond, lean and yes, in a way, good-looking. Now that's funny. I am a registered dentist residing in New York City and I have my own clinic. I am married with a former pop star, Alaina Richardson and we have an adorable seven-year-old daughter who happens to be Alice. My name is Michael Anders and this is my story.

After the competition, She asked me to treat her in an ice cream parlor. The weather was truly very cold during those moments (It was fall.) but I cannot hesitate because Alice just loves ice cream. She loves everything associated with gelidity. She is crazy about winter and she simply adores the snowfall.

Ulteriorly, we hurried home to tell her mom about the awesome news. But as usual, Alaina was not there. But because Alice wanted to tell her mom herself, she told me that she is going to wait for her in the living room.

It was already two in the morning when I was wakened by a queerly familiar noise. That happened to be Alaina -- getting inside the house. Alice was already sleeping in the couch. I told Alaina what took place and asked her why she consistently went home late.

"It's none of your business," said Alaina.

This was not funny -- her daughter waiting for her to arrive until midnight and she, telling me that whatever she did was "none of" my "business". Nevertheless, it was not surprising at all. We have been like this for quite a while. I was not happy anymore and I knew, she too was not happy anymore. We were both so tired of each other. We were both disgusted of pretending to be happy when we were not. Our wedlock must end. However, I would always take those thoughts away when I think of my daughter -- so young and innocent. She is so happy about her life. If Alaina and I decide to end our marriage, her heart would have certainly been broken. How could I ever think of breaking her heart when she, for me, was my only happiness? So, the day would end with me forgetting the idea of divorce.

Now, how could anyone say that I am living a perfect life?

The next day, I woke up and saw my breakfast placed neatly at my coffee table. Beside it, was an apology note. It has always been like this. After every argument, Alaina would make sure she says sorry. She even used to massage me right after a confrontation. Whoa! Things really do change. However, her very act of preparing my breakfast reminds me how I used to be crazy about her -- how I used to love her so much.

So I leave the master's bedroom and sees my wife helping my daughter pack for school. I kissed her in the cheeks and she smiled at me. She is still very beautiful, I must say.

"Mike, we've got to go," said Alaina as she curled her lips in the direction of the clock.

"Daddy, mommy doesn't want me to be late so she's driving for me," said Alice until I noticed....

"Alice, what's wrong with your eyes?"

"Oh, It's been hurting," replied Alice. "Maybe you should buy me some new lenses."

"Let's go," Alaina told our daughter.

That morning, I was made to believe that that day must be different. It must be more peaceful and full of love unlike the previous ones. Suddenly, an amusing sound dominated the air, which seemed to have changed everything.

It happened to be Alaina's cellphone ringing. I picked it up but no one answered. I then noticed that there were eight unread text messages. I instantly thought that the messages were very important so I had better inform it to Alaina soon. Then, I realized that I had no idea where my wife's heading to after bringing our daughter to school. So, I decided to just read one of those messages.



*****

Alaina arrived exactly three minutes before two the next morning. She looked so exhausted and weary.

"Where did you come from?"

"I was looking for work," said Alaina.

"Liar. I know that you did not. Now answer me, who's this Blaine Russell?"

At that point, I showed her cellphone which served as the instrument for me to find out about a man who seems to have been courting my wife. The shock in Alaina's face was just unmistakable.

"And why is my phone with you?"

"Who is this Blaine Russell? How long have you been cheating with this guy?"

"No, it's not what you're --"

"HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN CHEATING ON ME?!!"

Then we both fell silent. I was sure that I've had enough of this relationship. Maybe that moment was the best time, I thought. There was something inside me that tells me that this could be the most fitting thing I can do. I was abruptly certain that my daughter would understand, if not soon, maybe when she grows up.

*****

I did not know exactly how it happened. All I heard was a young girl's scream that filled my house. And then, there I was. Waiting.

Barely seventy hours ago, I was in the middle of telling my wife that we should start considering divorce. Then I was right there in the hospital, trying to fix the doctor's words in my head so that everything would make sense. And then, I finally understood.

The doctor told me a few minutes ago that Alice was suffering from keratitis, which he explained was "a painful inflammation and swelling of the cornea" which might have been caused by an injury in wearing contact lenses. He also told me that my daughter had to go over a series of treatments under the supervision of an ophthalmologist. If she does not, she may eventually lose her eyesight.

Yes. I'm now sure he said that. My daughter might end up blind.

*****

After a few more days, the same doctor told me that we, that's my wife and I, could already bring Alice home. Hence, I took some money from the bank for my daughter's hospital expenses. When I went over my bank account, I observed that my savings have continuously dropped. That's probably because my clinic wasn't working well. When I came back to get Alice out of the hospital, Alaina was not there. Naturally, I decided to go home with my daughter alone.

Upon arriving, (Alaina was, of course, not home when we arrived) Alice asked me to help her to her bedroom so she could start doing her homework. However, I told her not to mind that because she won't be going to school for a while.

"But dad, why?" asked Alice.

"Because you're going to undergo treatments. It won't be healthy for you to be busy with school."

"Okay."

During those moments, I could see the sadness in her eyes. She has never been this lonely.

"Dad."

"What is it, honey?"

"Am I going to be good again?"

Suddenly, I was convinced. My world indeed stopped. Her words simply echoed in my mind. These words made my eyes wet. Of all people, why such a lovely child? Why my daughter? Why Alice?

However, I had to answer her. I wasn't sure if it was lying. No -- maybe it's just me and my optimistic mind.

"Yes, honey. You'll be good. I promise."