How Wednesday got it's name.

 
      My Great Great Great Great Great Great Great Uncle W. Edward Nes was a great archaeologist way before Indiana Jones and any silly Temples of Doom and Last Crusades were ever dreamed of. Why he even ran the snakes out of Ireland way before St. Patrick came along but being an honest fellow he lost the recognition for that in a hand of poker with the over-rated Saint.  But that's a whole other story.

      Yes my Great (x6) Uncle Nes was a strong and sturdy man , you know the strong and silent type (must run in the family genes).  He stood over 7 feet tall, had biceps that were the size of Easter hams and legs that would make a 7 foot tall grasshopper cower in shame.  He could lift a catapult with one arm and run faster than Chester Cheetah but his greatest strength was in his noggin. (the size of a blue-ribbon honeydew).  Why he could out smart the smartest, out-wit the witiest, and out think the thinkiest!

    Most believe that the day Wednesday was named after the Norse God Wodan who was said to be the most prominent God in Norse Mythology, a Psychopomp (a leader of souls to and from this life) and associated with poetic and musical inspiration.  However, the truth is that Wednesday was actually named after my Great Uncle (x6) W.Edward Nes.  What does the W. stand for you might be wondering?  Wilbur!  Yes back then Wilbur wasn't exactly a flattering name like it is these days. The name Wilbur was given to my Great Uncle by his father Wilbur Nes who was a well known hunter and woodsman, but his story could fill up a library full of books!  Yes it just so happens that my Great Uncle W. Edward Nes was a ladies man ( genes) and was forever a bachelor.  It was said that he had a new female on the back of his horse each day of the week. Well one particular day (guess which one) he happened across the wife of the Great Norse God Wodan, Eratide who was washing her husbands tidy whiteys in the River Styx as my my uncle rode up to water his horse. The horse's name you ask?  Buttercup.  But anywho, my Uncle, smitten by the work that Mrs. Wodan had done with her husbands undergarments was enthralled with this woman of skill and prowess. Why this was the type of woman that could clean my Uncle's boxers with ease. Dirty drawers attract flies which can be a nuisance when you are in the middle of an important archaeological dig!  Eratide being a lonely, neglected woman (Nordic Gods were very busy) was enthralled with my Uncle as well.  She was quoted as saying  " I'd soak his boxers any day of the week!" 
   
      So my Uncle went behind a great boulder, dis-robed and tossed his boxers out to Eratide who went to work right away feverishly shewing away flies as she scrubbed and scrubbed.  Since these were particularly large boxers and hadn't been properly cleaned in quite a while, it took several hours to complete the task. Just as Eratide was about to toss the boxers over the boulder to my Great Uncle, guess who came wandering on to the scene?  That's right, you got it!  Eratide's husband Wodan and his good friend Tyr, the Nordic God who was the inspiration for the naming of the day Tuesday.  Now Tyr  was recently charged with naming the following day of the week and had just announced his intentions of naming this day after his friend Wodan.  Tyr was shocked to see Eratide tossing boxer shorts to a strange man over a huge boulder as was Wodan! . As he pondered the obvious situation for the Love Triangle (this was well before and obviously the inspiration for Jerry Springer) he said I have come up with a solution for this awkward situation. Eratide must not violate the sanctity of her marriage to Wodan but may return to this very spot each fourth day of the week to wash the boxers of Mr. Ness. We shall call this day Wednesday in honor of my great friend Wodan and in honor of Mr. Ness who knew that Eratide could never choose between the two lovers because she knew that they would battle to the death over her.  So, there you have it! Officially, Wednesday was named after the Nordic God Wodan, but we all know who Eratide's heart throbbed for.  And that's how the day Wednesday was named after my Great Uncle(x6) W.Edward Nes!