A Day At The Carnival

I was once at the carnival and I saw one of those knife throwers. I thought "Hey, it's one of those knife throwers. Neat." So, I went over to watch and he was making one of those crazy ass carnie speeches.
"Come one, come all! See me throw these knives at a volunteer on the wheel-o-doom!", He yelled.
Obviously with such an ominous sounding name, no one volunteered. But, since I think everyone's a pussy and an asshole, I volunteered.
"Wonderous! Step right up.", he bellowed.
"Now hold on tight laddie, we're gonna spin you 'round a whole bunch of times while I throw knives 'atcha. Stay calm and don't move.", he whispered as his attendants strapped me into the wheel.
They spun me around and the guy started throwing knives at me. "This is cool.", I thought.
One knive, two knives, three knives, and on the fourth knive, he missed and got the damn thing stuck in my arm. I started yelling "FUCK FUCK FUCK GET ME DOWN AND CALL A MEDIC FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKING SHIT ASS COCKSUCKING MOTHERFUCKERS!"
After the ambulance arrived and bandaged my arm up, the guy came over to me. "Sorry 'bout that. Won't happen again."
I thought to myself "Shit yeah, it won't happen again. I'm gonna sue this fucking carnival, fucking asswipe. Eat a dick."
Then this fat ass bitch comes over and starts screaming in my ear, "You asshole! I'm going to sue you for corrupting my kids' minds! They're only five years old! You've probably scarred them for life! How dare you swear in front of children!"
"What would you say if you got stabbed in the arm, fagbag? Go hump a bible and masturbate to jesus like you probably do in your free time."
"Well, I never! Hey you! I'm not finished here! Hey! HEY! HEEEYYY!"
At this point I was storming off to the guy who threw the knife in my arm. I rabbit punched him in the back of the head, took one of the knives from his stupid ass belt, ran back to the superbitch, and stabbed her in the arm a bunch of times. I think the knife thrower died, but Ms. PMS over there went to the hospital and plans on suing me.