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by inky Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E · Script/Play · Comedy · #1412368
The School is Falling! (stupidity of stereotypes shown)
    Chelsie- Cheerleader
    Brittany- Cheerleader
    Bill- Janitor
    Football player
    Nerd
    Dr.Hopper- Principal
_____________________________________________________________________
                                    Scene One
                  [Outside of the school.  A Janitor works on the door as two cheeleaders stand and talk before school begins]
   
    Chelsie- (chewing gum) You know... I don't know why everyone says that cheerleaders are stupid.  The have to be jealous or something...
    Brittany-(twirling hair) Totally!  I mean... noone can do a high kick like you do.  Everyone else is soooooooo jealous!
     
                    [Janitor drops a bolt on Chelsie's head]

    Chelsie- Owwwww !  What WAS that?!?
    Brittany- What was what?
    Chelsie- (pouting) Something hit me on the head! (she looks down and picks it up)  Its a bolt! (looks around for several minutes)  The school is FALLING!!!
    Brittany- What are we going to DoOoOooo?!?
    Chelsie- (Thinks for a minute ans whips cape out of back pocket) [blackout and spotlight on Chelsie] We have to warn everyone!!! (points) Lets go!

                  [blackout]
____________________________________________________________________
                                    Scene Two
    Chelsie: To the third floor!  ( spotlight on them as they run in place as 2nd floor sign... third floor sign & they stop.  The janitor walks in place "following".)
    Brittany: (panting and out of breath)  Ok, so now how do we get everyone down and out of here?!?! (ignoring fire alarm right next to her)
    Chelsie: I don't know, I don't know, I, don't know!  (cries)(looks up)(sniffeling pitifully)  Hey you... Mr. Football player!... Do you want to be my night in shining armor?... (Flirtatiously)  If you can help me... I'll do you a favor... (smiles) I'll owe you one.
    Mark (football player) - Sure... anything for you babe.
    Chelsie: (still flitrtatious) Welll... (Panicked) The School is Falling... the school is FALLING!!!!!!!!!!  (blows whistle around her neck) I need you to move all students from this floor outside... Let's GO GO GO!
    Mark: Uummmmm...
    Chelsie: NOW!!!
    Mark: (scared)Yes sir, coach sir... I mean uh... (trying to be cool) Anything for you baby. [pushes a group of angry kids (yelling and screaming) out the door]
    Brittany: Ok Chelsie... We have to get everyone else out now... before the building collapses!
    Chelsie: umm... ok.  To the basement!  ( spotlight on them as they run in place sign 3-2-1-basement as & they stop.  The janitor walks in place "following".)_____________________________________________________________________
                                    Scene Three
    Brittany: We're running out of time!
    Chelsie: Where could everyone be?  (thinking)
    Both: Studio Four!!!  (Chelsie does a high kick and knocks down the studio four door)
    Chelsie: Everyone... the school is FALLING!!!  Everybody Out!
    Brittany:  Gimme' a "G"!
    Chelsie: "G"
    Brittany: Gimme' an "E"
    Chelsie: "E"
    Brittany: Gimme' a "T"
    Chelsie: "T"
    Brittany: Gimme' an "O"
    Chelsie: "O"
    Brittany: Gimme' a "U"
    Chelsie: "U"
    Brittany: Gimme' a "T"
    Chelsie: "T"
    Brittany: What does that spell?
    Both: (hysterically) GET OUT! (Everyone begins to stampede out... except one)
    Chelsie:  Hey kid- why are you still standing here?  Because... like O...M...G... The School is Falling!!!
    Nerd: Well you see (pushes glasses up)  The likelyhood of the school falling compared to the statistiacal amount of time it would take for the school to collapse makes it highly improbable that the school IS indeed falling.  We would already be crushed.
    Chelsie: (squeak of indignation)  Fine then you... you geek!  Just... DIE then!!!
                            [blackout as nerd goes off stage] ( spotlight on them as they run in place as 1st floor sign... 2nd floor sign... & they stop.  The janitor walks in place "following".)
_____________________________________________________________________
                                    Scene Four
    Brittany: Ok... this is taking waaaaaaaay too long!  The building will fall in any second now.  What do we do?
    Chelsie:  Look Britt!  A Fire Alarm!  (pulls it)  That ought to take care of it... Let's get out of here!  (all of a sudden the alarm stops) (Over the intercom)
    Dr.Hopper:  Attention all students and faculty, this was a false alarm... I repeat... a false alarm.  Please return to your classes everyone.  (students come pouring into the school)  And there will be a hallsweep next hour... Thank you.
    Chelsie:  We've done all we can... If we don't leave now we're doomed! (1st floor sign)(runs into football player)
    Football player:  Hey sweetie pie... time to pay up on that favor you owe me.  (Pervertedly)  I got you for the next passing period in the janator's closet.  You and I are gunna get busy.
    Chelsie: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!  (runs the other way)
    Football player: (to Brittany)  Your friend seems a little busy... you wanna... take her place?  (perverted grin as he checks her out)
    Brittany: Heck no.  (kicks him in the nuts and runs with Chelsie) (Bell rings)
    Dr.Hopper: I'm sorry ladies, this is a hallsweep.  You need to go to the cafeteria.
    Chelsie: No... no you don't understand!  The school is falling... The school is FALLING!
    Dr.Hopper:  Well, that's a new one.  Nice try girls; but I still need you to go to the cafeteria.
    Chelsie: no no no no...no...no... (violently shaking her head, having a mental breakdown)
    Dr.Hopper: Officer Joiner?!?
    Officer Joiner: Yes sir?
    Dr.Hopper: Please escort these ladies to my office and keep them calm while I call their parents.
    Officer Joiner: Will do.
    (Everyone but the janator clears off stage)(black out)(spotlight on Janitor)
    Janitor: [ Tosses the bolt up and down in his hands and laughs] ha...ha...HaHaHaHa... HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  (rubs hands together)
Muhwahhahahaha!
                              [blackout]

                THE END













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