First day of Kindergarten

First day of Kindergarten


There he was standing by the flower pot. Jonathon, the boy of my dreams. Last night I even dreamt about him. Goodness, he is so handsome with those little blond curls bouncing as he runs towards me. Shucks, I didn't want him to spot me. What a clever guy he is. I slip around the corner and I turn to leave. A single tear forms at the corner of my eye. I blink and its gone. The tear, him, and his childhood.

As Jonathon's mother, I just couldn't stand to leave him there on  that first day of school. Kindergarten, what a harsh and cruel word to a first timer like me. Kindergarten, the age where kids start growing apart from their parents, the age where the social life begins, the age where they spend more time outside of home than inside it, the age where their teachers' and their friends' opinions may matter than mine.

Jonathon was mine for four precious years. I think and I reflect about the loving caresses, the gentle bedtime kisses, the homemade birthday cards and I smile. I laugh aloud in the business meeting thinking about that precious little guy. I laugh not because my boss is funny or said some crude joke, no, I laugh because of my son and all the joy he has brought me. Later, during lunch, I remember the time that he went fishing for the first time with some friends to the river just behind the house. I came home that day tired and ready for a warm, candle lit, bath, but I found a very large brown-salmon swimming in about ten inches of water. At this I laugh and I shake my head recalling the scolding that I had given my angelic guy.  His father told me to cut him some slack, he's just a boy. And I replied, "This is my one sanctuary, Stuart!"

"Hey, Kathy, You all right", my girlfriend asked concerned as we were heading out of the office.
"Yeah, I am just going to go get Jonathon. It was his first day of school today."
"Ahhhh....I see. You know, I went through the same thing with Trevor just last year. Trevor loves school, and his teacher says he's doing very well; A little too well in the social skills department, if you know what mean," she said with a slight wink. 

"Yeah, well, I'd better go see how he is. He didn't even cry when I dropped him off. He was so tough and so brave. I think it's harder for me than for him."
"Of course it is. For him, this is new, exciting marks new privledges, no opportunities. He is gaining something and you feel as though you are losing something, like you have to let everything go. Kathy, it's not that way. He still needs you and that's what you need to know."
"Thanks for the advice Janice. I'll let you know how it went later. Maybe Jon and Trevor can hang out sometime."
"Sure thing."


         "Mommy!".  "You wanna see my desk?, Know what we did today? Mrs. Rixziques is so nice, she reads stories and we have snack time and ....mommy, why are you crying."
         "Because I am so happy to see you honey. I was thinking about you all day today. I was thinking about when you had the fish in the bathtub and mommy was soo mad, Remember?"
         "Yes. But daddy just helped me take it outside and put it back in the river. He said next time take a picture."
         "So, What was your favourite activity today?"
         "I liked it when Mrs. Rixzique let us have choice time. I played blocks and built a castle,"

As I drove home with that little boy, the man of my dreams, we stopped by the grocery store. Jon requested tacos for supper, so tacos it was. We ate dinner, Stuart talked about the busy day he had as athletic director at Tahji High, and we settled into our evening routine. As the news recited the daily events softly, Jon slept soundly.
         "Stuart, honey..."
         "Hmmm...., he said as he looked up from the newspaper."
         "You know...today was really hard for me. Jonathon is growing so fast. We are going to just blink and he will be a teenager going on dates with his girlfriend."
         "How did it go today? What did his teacher say?
         "She was busy. Jon showed me his desk quick and the classroom. He liked it, but Stu, do you think he will still need us?
         "Of course, sweety. He will always need us for advice, support, and to know that we care."
         "It's just that we waited so long for him to come along, and now he's almost gone in just a short amount of time."
         "I know hun, I know it was difficult. But you can't stop time. Enjoy what you have, and all you can do is just be there each step of the way. When he wants to go to a friend's house, but hasn't finish his homework, you'll be there to say no. When he wants to go to that party where you know that his friends will be drinking, you'll be there to say no. He needs that. And we will be there for him"

And so...Kathy fell asleep as she often does. The reading lamp on dim as Stuart flips through the newspaper, and silently praying for her husband and her so