Gabriel - a Do Over

    Retirement was wonderful.  I could make appointments when I wanted, visit my daughter whenever I wanted, read into the early morning or write at my convenience. In short, I retired, propped up my feet and relaxed.  I  drove in the right lane because I wasn't in a hurry, I smelled the roses along the way, I had a new grandson and  three granddaughters.  Life was slow and good
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    One beautiful fall morning in October my son, Stephen, called and  life changed forever. His sweet wife, Lisa had died at home. She left precious ten day old Gabriel and two step children from her first marriage, 10 year old Jessica whom we had all fallen in love with earlier, and sweet little Christopher.  Christopher was 14, but he had multiple disabilities resulting from having meningitis as a child.

    Days later we gathered at an outdoor tabernacle next to the cemetary to celebrate Lisa's life and home going.  We know she is in Heaven and that we will be with her some future day. If you are a parent, I'm sure you  have learned that when your child hurts, regardless of their age, the pain seems almost unbearable for you .And it was with me. Everyone was in tears at that service. But as in days of old, our Gabriel brought us great joy and hope.
   
    Steve and I decided that I would move in with him and help with the children.  I gave up my apartment and  put my things in storage,  My sister remarked that this was the age of make overs and do overs. My do over was helping to raise a newborn and  two other young children at age sixty-two.

    I can never be Gabriel's or Jessica's or Christopher's mother.  We keep a picture of Lisa in the family room and I tell Gabriel his mother is in Heaven and she loves him very much. There will be a time for more information later.

    There have been many changes in parenting in forty-one years and I am learning by trial and error. I have learned that paper diapers have a front and a back, that water pours right through a plastic bottle if you forget to put the drop-in in place and how to make one bottle at a time when the baby is screaming with hunger. And this is supposedly easier than  what  mothers did forty years ago.

    Lisa's aunt lives next door and she has been a great source of help during the day. We do worry that we probably should put Gabriel down more, but he is such a joy. He is now five months old and is a happy baby.

    I have traveled to Little Rock to see my daughter and her family three or four times.  I take Gabriel and Jessie who is a tremendous help when traveling. She is fun to travel with and I look forward to more trips with her.  Christopher is unable to be with us on these trips as he requires considerable nursing care.

    Yes, life has changed and my retirement plans have changed, but what a blessing this little family is.  Without question I wish Lisa were here with us, but I am thankful that in this family, I am getting a do over.

Kate Reno