Abused and confused

*Chapter 1*


Her mother named her Alana which meant rock. Alana was a miricle baby, one of whom her young mother felt would save her from insanity from her abusive husband whom she loved deeply and who literally lived by the words "through death do us part". No doctor or midwife delivered Alana. No family were present to congratulate Alana's birth. Her father was indignant during Alana's birthing process while a neighbor who had absolutely no experience but was present for ten births delivered Alana in a cold room at 3:56 am. It was raining outside and the roof was leaking.
When Alana was born her father refused to cut Alana's umbilicle cord let along look at what he created. Alana was a product of rape. Her mother Pam met Julius in grade school. Julius was the boy in school that every girl wanted and who every boy envied. Pam fell in love with Julius and he with her and together they discussed dreams of marraige and commitment. Julius was a nice guy until he turned to the bottle and to drugs. Therefore a monster was created and this nice boy was changing right in front of Pam's eyes.
At first this monster of a man didn't phase Pam. She thought it was a stage Julius was going through. So on one of Julius's good days he proposed to her and she accepted. They were married in a small town courthouse for 20 dollars which Pam's family did not accept and they distanced themselves from Pam. Pam now had no one but Julius. On their first night alone Julius and Pam had an argument and Julius lashed out at Pam busting her lip and blacking her eye in the process.
Julius never did appologize for beating Pam and Pam never spoke on it. But from then on day after day, the abuse continued for reasons such as Pam didn't answer Julius quick enough when he called or she didn't have food on the table. Pam felt as if she deserved every blow and twice Julius raped her, the second time producing Alana.