PS I Don't Love You (Anymore)

Dear you,

  Hey, it’s been quite a while, no? I’m feeling a little nostalgic at the moment, haha. Right. I just finished cleaning up my room today. And guess what? I found a dusty cardboard box and when I opened it, it’s filled with these memorable memories of… you.
  I found that mask I wore during the masquerade party, which was a total bore. But we had fun anyway didn’t we? We danced all night, drank like crazy. Wasn’t it fun? I really missed it. The feathers in the mask were all torn up though. But I fixed it already. :)
  Anyways, I’ll never forget the time we danced that night. Did you remember? I could still feel your warm hands around my waist, drawing me closer to your body. I could still smell your scent. One of our friends took a picture of us dancing; do you remember who took it?
  I never told you how I loved that night, haven’t I? How my heart was pumping at an immense speed? How my palms were sweaty around your shoulders? God, how I wanted to tell you that, but my lips were locked and, supposedly, you have the key? Hahaha.
  So where was I? Oh yeah, that night. Our story didn’t end there. We kept contact, though I never thought you would even remember my name. Haha, I did thought you were one of those typical playboys who are just looking for one night stands. But I suppose you aren’t. I kept your text messages, neatly written down in my best handwriting, stored away deep inside that box I told you about. I kept our photos, be it from that night or the ones we took spontaneously.
  We were close, weren’t we? Not a day goes by without hearing each other’s voice. Oh, how I missed your velvety voice, ringing in my ears. :(
  But you broke me, shattered me into pieces. When I saw you kissing that girl beneath the mistletoe… God, how I wished I was that girl. I had these thoughts screaming in my head telling me to not be selfish, which I listened too. I held back my tears as you approached me and introduced her as your girlfriend. Wow, that fast, huh?
  You did once tell me you had someone that you loved, but stored no more hope for her, since she ignored you and all. So, what the heck! I kept on asking myself whether I was just a ‘rebound’ for you, someone you took for granted. Well, guess what, as far as I’m concerned, my love for you was never to be taken for granted. All those hope you gave me, the ones that drew me pictures in my head of possibilities, were washed away in a matter of seconds.
  I remember exactly how I felt when I saw you kissing her… It was a mixture of pain, agony, jealousy, remorse, stupidity (yes, stupidity, I kept on telling myself how stupid I’ve been to have fallen for you!), anger. All mixed up in a big giant cauldron deep inside the pit of my heart. How I wanted to tear that girl’s hair (but then, it’s to cliché and soapy, you know…).
  But guess what, I didn’t say anything. I never said to you how much you hurt me, how that knife you invisibly carry around had stabbed me straight to the heart… How I loved you all these times. How I’ve stored up so much hope of you…. But then again, you left my lips concealed through the deep stare of your bewitching eyes.
  And you left my lips concealed, for God-knows how long. I watch you as you move one from one girl to another. I listened to you as you told me how broken hearted you are after breaking up with her. But I guess I never told you how I felt haven’t I? Well, I’m telling you now.
  You left me bleeding on the floor. Trample me over with those big feet of yours. You made me feel so stupid. You made me gobble down a tub of Ben & Jerry’s which resulted with an enormous brain-freeze. You broke my heart. You hurt me. Because I don’t want you to kiss that girl under the mistletoe, I want you to kiss me under the mistletoe. I’ve been fantasizing for that moment. Call me selfish, but that’s the truth. The truth is that I love(d) you. I want(ed) you. I’ve kept my hope alive for you.
  There the truth. The plain truth. I guess that’s all I have to say. It’s really hard to keep all this left unsaid deep inside the storage in the pit of my heart. I have to say, I’m (slowly but surely) moving on and letting go of the past. But hey, I’ll never forget those beautiful memories we’ve shared together. It’s something I’ll never be able to erase, I guess. Besides, why would I forget? It’s far too beautiful to forget.
  So I guess that’s it. I’ve said it. Wheew, you don’t know how relieved I am right now. I must go soon, enclosed is a picture of us during that party. I want you to have it. Keep it. For the sake of our memory.

Regards,
Me

PS: I don’t love you (anymore).