Blindly Reflecting Part Two

~*~*~Chapter Three~*~*~

I'm too afraid of Sebby to ask him...why?

Why was he punishing me, this time?

It wasn't very often Sebby used that metal part of the belt, he had to be really mad at me and so I feared, worse than I feared anything; that...closet. I couldn't, I just couldn't live through that again. Not so soon. Please. Not again. I begged him, but only in my head, words were forbidden and I didn't need him any madder.

I could hear him breathing hard. I had tried not to move but it hurt so much when that buckle hit; it just wasn't possible to stay still.

Before he tired himself out I couldn't stop the screams or stop trying to get loose, I just couldn't stop but my arms were tied up over my head and every time I tried to curl up he grabbed my ankle and pulled me back. I lost count of how many times.

During the short break he took to catch his breath I wondered why my brain couldn't see what it was that I did wrong, afraid that if I couldn't figure that out I would probably do it again without meaning to.

What did I tell Alec that made Sebby this mad? That I was always sorry? That he had two fingers up? Why oh why can't I get it, can't I understand something so simple?

That belt wouldn't help my brain and neither would that closet, because I was hopeless, but they just wouldn't give up trying. I wish sometimes, with all my might, that they'd give up on me.

I thought of my father, he had never hit me like this.

My father used to tell me he hated me. He would hold my arm tightly so I couldn't run and tell me over and over and over. Dusty, he would say, Dusty, the name was a curse and a swear and I knew it, he told me that, too.

My mother, he said, had wanted to name me Caleb or Jeremy. They had decided to see me first and then choose but by the time he saw me, my mother was already gone.

I was nothing, just a piece of dust from her wonderful life that I'd ended and I would get a name fitting that. Dusty. I deserved the name but each time I heard it I was reminded of what it meant.

Sebby raised the belt and it struck one more time.

I forgot everything else but the pain, then he cut off my scream by dropping full length right over my back, forcing all the air out of me. I had expected this and knew it would be awful, he gets very rough when he's mad. I tensed, fearing he might even bite. Once he did that to my fingers and my whole hand swelled up purple afterwards. It took a long time to heal.

Right now I could hardly feel anything, my thoughts had dimmed and I couldn't even get ready for what was about to happen. I didn't care.

Nothing happened. All I could hear was a roaring in my ears and I wanted to sleep and then his body pulled back and he was saying something. I tried to listen, knew I'd better listen...but then he was gone and while I waited the dark shadow came to take me and I ran happily to meet it.

~*~*~

Goddammit, answer.

I paced for a minute or two and pressed the doorbell again. That horrid screaming had stopped but I couldn't wait any more. I remembered that there was a back entrance I might be able to break in if I had to and I started to go around when the front door opened.

I turned and trotted back.

"Is that Dusty screaming?" I asked, incited.

Seb nodded. "Terrible, isn't it? He has nightmares, poor boy. I usually go and wake him but then you rang so I came here instead. He's stopped now, I guess he fell back to sleep on his own. Did you forget something, Alec?"

"My car broke down. I need it towed to a garage somewhere and I was hoping you knew the best place to call. Unless my father's drunk he'll pick me up. Or I can call a friend, but I promise I won't bother you long."

"It's no bother. Come in, Alec, while I get the number you need. I have a mechanic who will fix you up in no time," Seb said as he stood back and allowed me in. "Make yourself at home, make a drink if you'd like, I'll be right back."

I nodded while I listened for any sound of anything. That scream. It still echoed in my head. I had lived with Dusty for a long time and had never heard him make a sound like that. If he'd had nightmares, he had been quiet about it. So why the change? Why were they so much worse now?

Seb returned and informed me that help would arrive within twenty minutes or so and I checked my watch.

"I guess I'll give dad a call and see if he's fit to pick me up."

"I'll shoot you home," Seb offered.

"Thanks. Sorry for the trouble. Maybe we should go make sure my brother's all right," I answered, still anxious.

"I will before I go to bed. I'm sure he is. If he knows you're here, he may get upset again. Something about you seems to bother him," Seb told me.

I gave a short, brief laugh.

"Yeah, I'm sure he hates me. I never paid any attention to him. My father did everything for him, but me, I did nothing but order him around. I got home from school before dad got home from work and so I'm the one who unlocked his door so he could start dinner and his other chores. Nice of me, huh? Not once did I even help him, I never thanked him, either."

I shook my head. Seb just shrugged.

"You were a kid, Alec. Besides, from what your father told me, those chores kept him from withdrawing, kept his mind occupied and gave him a purpose."

"Being young doesn't excuse everything." I looked at Seb. "You know, not once have I ever seen my brother smile, not once. Can he? Can he laugh?"

"He can smile. Laughing is a higher level of functioning than he's capable of," Seb said, heading for the dry bar and the carafe of brandy there. "Sure I can't get you anything?"

"Seb. Do me a favor. Just check on Dusty, real quick. I keep thinking about him screaming. Would you mind?"

He looked at me, smiled. He swirled the glass, took a sip and put it down.

"All right, if it'll make you feel better. Be right back."

"I know I'm being a pain in the ass, but thanks," I told him gratefully and felt somewhat better when he headed off down the hall. I changed my mind and went to the bar for some of that brandy. I don't like brandy, but this whole day had given me a headache.

He returned within minutes.

"He's sleeping. He's fine," Seb said indulgently as he came beside me to get his glass. I looked at his sleeve, and then looked again. There was...it looked like fresh blood...a red spot near the back and I felt this funny tightening of my chest.

What if...

I kept my cool and debated asking him about it. I had this sudden need to see my brother, to dispel all this worry once and for all and stop jumping to these weird conclusions. This man was not a murderer and my brother was not lying cut up into pieces down the hall. I had a good imagination. I was not practiced at interrogation; but I had some training.

"Good. Thanks, I feel better. Since he's sleeping," I said mildly, as if I couldn't really care any less, "I should do the brother thing and poke my head in, just to say I did."

Sure enough, Seb found a reason for me not to, something about his sleeping light and then changed the subject quicker than a heartbeat. Common sense warred with instinct and I hadn't decided what to do when we both heard two short blasts of a horn from outside.

Damn. I had hoped for a chance to spy, but now time had run out. Seb grabbed a jacket from the closet near the entry and I followed him to the door. He was driving me home and I had no car to get back.

Still unsure what to do I gave no indication of worry as I nodded and went outside to sign the consent for the tow and whatever work needed to be done to my car. When this was finished, I asked the driver how much for a ride across town and we agreed on the price.

"This'll be fine," I told the surprised Seb. "I've put you out of your way enough. Say good-bye to Dusty for me. I probably won't be coming back. Please call if you need to and thanks for everything, Seb."

He smiled then and put his hand out and we shook.

I got just a short distance down the road and had the driver stop.

I jumped out and thanked the guy. I wasn't sure I knew what I was doing, I wasn't sure I wouldn't end up in jail before this night was over. But I set off back to Seb's and the only way to a clear conscience that I had left.

Thankfully, I had toured the place. When I got back there, I climbed the fence where the covered pool was. I hoped to find the sliding glass door still unlocked. It was relatively early and I doubted he would engage the security system until he went to bed. It was locked, unfortunately, but I had another idea. I went to the small tool shed and looked around inside for a pry bar or something. No luck.

I grabbed a hammer and chisel and a garden spade. I used the chisel to get under the door in the frame, and lifted it enough to get the spade under. That took some doing, some strength but I managed with only a few tries. I worried some the wooden handle would break, but it held as I dragged it towards me and the door slipped out of the groove. The lock popped. I caught the damn thing before it fell and eased it down. There had been some noise, including the door thunking on it's edge to the brickwork. I worried the police were already on their way as I snuck inside and crept my way to the bedroom end of the split ranch.

There had been no more screams, no noise of any kind, much as I didn't want to hear any I would have felt more justified. I was possibly ruining my career. But where had the blood come from? What was Seb hiding?

Down the hall I crept all the way to Dusty's room. It was the furthest from the living space. From under the door, I could see the light was on and could hear sounds that were muffled and indiscernible. I was now nothing but a jangled bunch of nerves waiting for Seb to step out of another room or into the hallway and nab me there.

For a moment, I had a change of heart. This was stupid. Dusty had lived with this man for years and seemed unharmed, in fact he was stronger and healthier than he'd been with us. I wouldn't blame Seb for pressing charges against me.

No. There was no turning back or I'd never forgive myself. I listened. I got up the nerve to put a hand on the knob and twist it. I opened it half an inch, then another half an inch. The sounds were louder and rythmic...like...like...

My memory shot back, my eyes widened and I opened the door half way as it all came clear in my head and then just as quickly vanished to the moment.

I sprang like a wild thing and knocked the naked Seb off the bed viciously with both hands. He tumbled to the floor and more quickly than he could react, I kicked his head to slow him down. I looked around and settled for a brass and glass lamp to bash his fucking skull in before he could get his senses back.

I hit him harder than I probably had to. He had only been partially up and he went down for keeps and lay motionless. I resisted the urge to kick him again.

I shot a gaze over at Dusty. Oh God. No. I let out a very soft sob. I looked down at Seb and then pulled him away from the bed and dragged his limp body to the far corner. I grabbed the bedspread draped over the footboard and covered him. Then, I went back.

My brother had his eyes closed tightly. There was quite a bit of blood, his back was cut and there were bruises, terrible bruises forming. Seb had beaten him like this and then assaulted him. My father will be furious when I tell him.

My father...

Again, more pieces of the puzzle snapped together. I shook the thoughts away, this wasn't the time.

I sat down on the bed, slowly, unable to hold back tears and I reached out to touch my brother, gently I put a hand on his shoulder.

"Dusty...it's me, Alec. I'm so, so sorry..." I cried softly.

His eyes opened, he blinked rapidly as he looked at me and then he began to sob, as he had in our living room and I took him in my arms and untied his wrists, then sank down with him, holding him tightly while he whispered my name and all I could say was I was sorry, over and over.

Finally I managed to tell him that no one would hurt him anymore. He pushed against me and kept saying my name and then he said he loved me. Loved me?

How could he possibly love me?

~*~*~

I could feel the wash of both our tears, constant intermingling dampness as his cheek was against my neck. I held him tightly and stroked his hair.

"Dusty...oh my God, what did he do to you," I tried to sound soothing.

"Alec." He was back to saying my name, almost a whispered chant, "Please. Don't leave me."

"No, I won't, I won't I promise. You'll be coming with me and you'll stay with me," I assured him.

"Alec...why did you send me away?" Dusty's voice was ragged like his breathing, and unsure.

"What? Why would I send you away?" I crooned and he just whimpered. "Shush now, don't worry, Dusty, everything will be all right now."

"Just don't leave me, Alec, please..."

"I won't leave you, not ever, okay?"

I hugged him even more fiercely. He needed some attention to the cuts on his back and God knows what else, but at the moment I just wanted him calm and I wanted him to feel safe with me. I wasn't ready to think past getting him home, but first I wanted him to cry himself down.

"Alec, I love you. I've always loved you," he said again.

"How can you love me after what I did to you," I whispered, so emotional that tears came afresh.

"What ... how could I not love you? You didn't do anything. I shouldn't have been mad that you made me leave."

"I didn't make you leave, why would you think that?" I asked softly, my thumb sliding ever so tender across his temple.

"Father told me."

"He told you I wanted you to leave? I never did. I never said anything like that," I answered, feeling more than just pain. Had dad really blamed it on me? Made Dusty feel even more unwanted? Why?

I had a lot to think about. Dusty could count and he could see and he could think and, god, he could love, and we had locked him up and left him alone except when we needed him to wait on us. Then, as his reward, we sent him away to live with a monster. I felt like the monster. My father had some serious explaining to do. And I had some soul searching.

"I didn't send you away. And I never will. C'mon. Let's get out of here before that slime..." I hadn't meant to scare him, but he suddenly stiffened.

"Where is he, where is Sebby?" he asked.

"He's on the floor in less than perfect working order. C'mon, Dusty. Don't think about him. If he ever comes anywhere near either of us, I swear I'll kill the bastard."

I looked over at the crumpled form. Maybe, I already had. I didn't care.

Dusty needed help, quite a bit of it, he had lost blood and I think he was partially in shock. I knew enough to keep a close eye on him. He sat up with me, weakly, still keeping himself bodily in contact and I think he feared I'd disappear.

I kissed his cheek lovingly. He was so wounded looking, so lost and so young...but with these anxious, worry lines. He certainly didn't look like he was almost the adult his age said he was. In body he was my size, except lighter, but his face and his eyes; they looked both way too young and way too old. I didn't know how that was possible, but it was the impression I got.

Anyway, now the question was, who did I call for a ride? Dad? Nope, not him, not while I had this uneasy feeling about him.

I shook my head and pulled the cell from my pocket. I hadn't talked to Jase for months. I think we were slowly losing track of each other, something we had sworn would never happen. He had been my best friend for almost ten years.

He didn't answer and I didn't leave a message, what would be the point. I needed out of this place, now. And then I got the call back almost immediately.

"Alec?" Jason's voice was music, I closed my eyes with relief. He started to explain why he wasn't answering at the moment, until he glanced at the number and saw it had been me, but I cut him off.

A best friend is someone you can count on. They don't question and Jase didn't. I told him I needed a ride, immediately and that it was important. I gave him the address, brief directions and a promise to pay any speeding tickets he got on his way. He was almost in his car already, he said, when we hung up.

I searched for clothes. I looked around the room. It was coldly decorated, it didn't have the look of a room anyone lived in. I decided I would take nothing, just clothes to get Dusty home in and those I would throw away as soon as possible.

My eyes fell on the belt on the stand beside the bed, the buckle tarnished with what I knew, wincing inside, was blood. Almost as an afterthought I took a pillow case and stuffed it inside to bring with us.

I helped Dusty slip into a dress shirt, he moved slowly with pain but didn't make a sound, just watched me as he had always done. I knew now that he saw me. I smiled at him whenever my eyes caught his and each time it relaxed him.

Just to be safer, once I had Dusty dressed, I took him outside to wait, way off at the far corner of the lawn and away from the house. He was succumbing to the shock and the stress, getting weaker with every step he took. I held him again, in silence and misery we clung together, two brothers who knew so little about the other.

Jason pulled up and I was never gladder to see anyone. We got in beside him, Dusty between us and he started to drive before even saying hello. He appeared to be thinking, while I called 911 and gave them Sebastion's address.

Dusty was fast falling asleep on my shoulder. Jason finally spoke.

"Dustin," he said under his breath and then, louder. "I'd forgotten you had a brother."

"So had I, Jase," I said sadly.

"He looks just like you and I remember a long time ago, coming to your house and seeing him. Is he all right?"

"Not really. But he will be if I have a say in it."

"Okay, I won't ask."

"I'll talk to you soon about it and I appreciate this, I owe you big time, yeah I know I don't, but trust me, I do," I said to my friend and then I rested my head on Dusty's and closed my eyes.

~*~*~

Alec saved me. I'm not sure why, but he somehow got rid of Sebby and then he was there and he was crying so sadly.

If only I could take sadness away, not cause it, but I couldn't. I hugged him and he hugged me back. I loved so the feel of him, so strong and gentle. I loved him.

I tried to say all the things to him I had always wanted to while I had time. He kept promising he wouldn't leave or send me away again. I wondered if it was true. I didn't know anymore, I began to think that everyone lies to me. I was tired but very happy to leave this place.

As Alec and I walked out the door I made sure not to look up, and I didn't until he opened the closet to ask which coat was mine. I pointed, shakily. I had never been in that closet, but just seeing the dark, small space made me shiver.

Alec's friend Jason picked us up in his car and I heard him say my name. I remembered him, and thought back to those days. Seeing again him and Alec run in from playing outside, looking for something to drink and to eat, laughing and smiling and it was some of the best times of my life, watching those two until they disappeared into Alec's room.

I loved my brother's room, it was unbelievable, the things he had in there. I knew better than to touch anything except the dresser to put clothes away, but noone told me I couldn't look. Every single thing was wonderful, all the drawings and large pictures on the walls, the books and games, there were things everywhere...but my favorite was right there on his dresser. It was a puppy and it could bark and do backflips. He'd had it since he was little. I saw it a couple times when it moved and I always wished it would do that for me, but I understood.

I only found out puppies are real, too, a couple years ago, walking with Sebby. There was one coming towards us and I felt tears thinking about Alec and the one on his dresser and I bent down to say hi to the furry little thing. I ran a hand over the little head, so fluffy it was, so alive.

Sebby hit me once we got home for petting that puppy, but it was worth it. I can still feel the warm softness of the fur and the tongue that tickled my hand and didn't seem to mind that it was me touching him.

So, in the car with Alec and Jason, and Sebby nowhere around, I felt safe. I rested on Alec. Whatever was to happen would happen, I never had any say in it. I did feel some hope. Well, until we got home and I saw the look in father's eyes when he saw me. I was going back to Sebby that uncompromising look said. I knew it. I also believed Alec, what he had told me. He hadn't wanted me gone, it was just my father. I don't know why he told me what he did, why he would want me to be mad at my brother.

My father sat up. Alec still had an arm around me and he started to guide me away and towards the stairs, and all he said to my father was that they would talk later.

My eyes were only half open as I obeyed him, undressed and barely flinched when had me stand under the shower. Gently, he cleaned me up and put some cream medicine on my back.

I didn't speak to him again, I don't think I could've. He helped me get into a pair of some sort of loose comfortable clothes and I knew that when he finally had me laying down on his bed I was not going to stay awake long.

But, just long enough. Alec got in beside me and allowed me to cuddle up with him and it was the most wonderful thing I'd ever felt and I went to sleep with his fingers quietly brushing my hair.

~*~*~

My father was furious when I walked in with Dusty.

I could see it in his eyes but he didn't realize something, I was much more enraged than he could ever be. I barely managed to say what I had to, to stall his questions and I knew right then, when he didn't question or try to follow; that he knew. He knew.

The fucking bastard knew.

I kept my head, I needed to be calm and gentle for my brother's sake and I did the best I could to clean and disinfect the wounds, to get any trace of Sebastian off him. He was so exhausted that I just put him right to bed and crawled in beside him. He would not be alone. Not for a while. He drew himself close and was almost instantly sleeping, but I couldn't sleep. I just stroked his hair and lay there for a long time, listening to his breathing and looking at the ceiling.

Had my father molested him? Abused him? I found it hard to believe, yet the memories I allowed back pointed in that direction. How could he do that, what sort of man was he and how had I not seen it?

Had he kept me apart from him, kept me thinking Dusty was too stupid to talk and too blind to see, just for that selfish reason? I would find out the answers to all this, but the real question was; had I figured all of this out in time to save my brother? What sort of irreparable harm is done to someone with such long time abuse and neglect?

I had never questioned anything. I loved my father, and I had trusted him. I think that's what was causing me so much pain. He had always been good to me. How could he be so duplicitous, how could anyone?

I feel asleep somewhere along these thoughts, of loving and hating and the promise I made to myself that I would make amends for my part in it. I would do anything and everything to make Dusty whole again.

College would have to wait.

I woke in the morning, disoriented I guess, because I thought it was Kevon I was nestled against and I nuzzled him sleepily, nipping at his ear and just before I started to lick behind it, my eyes opened wide with memory and I raised my head.

Oops. Dusty looked at me, and I smiled at him sheepishly.

"Sorry. About the ear thing. How're you feeling?" I think I blushed a little. It was nice, though, the warmth of him and I melted some when he stretched himself close and put his arm over me.

I thought of the night before, cleaning him up, dressing him. He was so completely and so gently submissive, I think I could have done anything short of beat him, and he would have been glad for the attention. 

"I love you so much," he blurted in this soft, sweet voice. I was just way too sensitive, what with all these emotions.

"I love you, too, I really do, but...well, we could be in deep, perverted trouble if we're not careful," I grinned at him.

"Alec? Did you really mean what you said? That I could stay...even though I ruined your life?

"Ruined my life? For god's sake. How do you figure?" I asked.

He took a long breath. I would much rather keep the conversation light for once. I wanted more than anything to see him smile. But he was still scared and I doubted that until I'd allayed his fears, that he could do more than cry.

I was the one who had to submit, and go with his moods. I had tear down the whole house he'd built from his loneliness and misery, and then erect a new one in its place. After I'd fortified the foundation.

His eyes were trusting. That, I found astonishing and a very good sign. I really did love him, and as I looked at him, bits and pieces of the past danced in my mind, like how he'd made me a snack every night. I never even needed to ask him, he just knew. Just like he knew to have my favorite black Levis and the silver foil shirt clean for the weekend. It was, he was a comfort to me and I had never thought about it, I had simply taken it for granted. No matter how bad my day was, Dusty was always there, quiet and not judging.

He hadn't answered my question. So I simply said, "You never ruined anyone's life, it's more the other way around."

"I meant...because I killed..." he couldn't finish. His heart was still broken over his own birth, can you imagine? I wondered how much dear old dad had to do with that and I suspected, a lot.

I propped up beside him.

"Is that what dad told you?" I asked him softly and he nodded, just barely and I smiled gently.

"You didn't ruin anyone's life and you didn't kill anyone. I remember, Dusty. I remember Mom. I remember her singing," I said and felt my eyes well up, but I was still smiling, "...singing these old corny songs and she said she was singing them to you and she would sing them again when she could hold you and you'd remember...she loved you way before you were born and she'd have given her life for you. If she had to die she would be glad that you'd lived. She loved you so much, Dusty, and she'd want you to live not for her, but as a part of her, she would want you to be happy. Dad should've honored that. But, I'm beginning to realize that he disgraced her, the way he treated you, don't you see? I'll make it up to you. Because Mom would've wanted me to and Dad, well, he'll answer for what he's done. I swear he will."

I had gotten carried away and I saw it in his eyes, the pain was so deep, yet I knew he had to feel the wound to close it. But he had just gotten here and he had been badly beaten and there was time. I didn't need to do this to him, not so soon and not all at once.

"I'm sorry," I said.

He nodded and he hugged me and I held him for a few minutes, close.

"Don't worry. I'm going to give you back some of that childhood you missed out on. I'm going to take you everywhere and show you everything I can think of and you're getting a tutor and whatever else you need and Dad's going to pay for all of it..."

I smiled at him. "And someday, when you're ready to leave, I'll do something I never thought I'd ever do, girl watching. I'll even double date with you. Whatever. No matter how sickening."

"No, just you, Alec, I love just you," my brother looked panicked, as if I'd threatened to abandon him. His arms tightened on me.

He needed me and I felt it and we had to get through it and I had never felt so good or so bad in my life as I tenderly kissed the side of his mouth as I leaned over him.

He was completely puzzled. He didn't know what to think of me, I could tell. I also knew he would give in to me, to whatever I wanted and I had to teach him. He had to understand he had rights. For today, the lesson was over. I guessed I'd given him enough to think about.

"The next time anyone kisses you without your permission, slap them one, Dusty. People have taken what they wanted from you, but you know it isn't love," I told him. "I wouldn't do that to you, not in a thousand years."

He hugged me with a desperateness I could feel; such desolation and loneliness running all through him and I took him in my arms, stroking his throat and curling the ends of his hair against his neck, smiling and calming him. And then Dusty smiled.

He actually smiled.

It was so wondrous, so childlike and new.

"You just have to smile more often. C'mon, I want to make you breakfast," I told him. "Hungry?"

"Alec. Will you tell me more about Mom, later?"

"Sure I will. I'll tell you everything I remember," I assured him.

I got up and pulled on my jeans and waited for him. He was somewhat slow, stiff and I imagined what his back felt like.

"Dusty, do you mind if I take a look at your back? Just to be sure it's healing and all," I asked.

"Do I mind?" he seemed perplexed again. I suspected that no one asked his permission to touch him. It was a concept he was going to have to get used to.

"No. I don't mind," he finally said and I thanked him and raised the tee shirt. It was healing. But the bruises were bad, they had darkened overnight. I could see old ones, too. This wasn't the first time he'd been hurt, and his hands and wrists, unbandaged, were still healing. They hadn't been burned the way Seb said they had, but I was reluctant to put him through anything else today and ask any more questions.

He would need some quiet time for a while. Maybe we could just spend the week watching movies and talking while I got him used to me.

I managed to give him a soothing look. "It's fine. Not bleeding. Looks sore, though."

He let out a long, shuddery breath and I stopped him before he fell apart again.

"Look, Dusty, from now on we stick together and no one can hurt either of us again. I'm asking a lot, by asking you to trust me, but please try."

His eyes searched mine. "I trust you," he said softly.

So I walked slowly down with him to the kitchen and he stood there looking around, touching things while I scouted the place.

"What're you in the mood for? I can cook, sort of. Eggs, French toast. I can pour cereal really well."

We were interrupted by my father coming in, glaring when he saw us and heading for the coffee maker. He didn't say a word. Dusty was frozen in place and I wasn't going to have this. Oh, no, my father's days of tormenting Dusty were over. Things would be different from now on.

"You can cut out the act, Dad, I know...maybe not everything, but enough. And I expect you to act decent and treat Dusty like the human I'm not so sure you are until you find the time in your schedule to have a nice, long talk with us."

"You just don't understand," he said, instantly mellowed and now acting like he was the victim, heaving a sigh. I played along.

"Well, that's what we'll talk about," I said agreeably and I winked at Dusty and touched his arm. He visibly calmed down and began to breathe again.

"Next weekend, dad. It can't be today. Dusty needs time to heal up and I need time to think. You do remember what I'm studying, now don't you? It seems to me that what went on was beyond just immoral and selfish."

He shifted from foot to foot nervously. I liked seeing him squirm and I remained close to my brother. Just so they both knew.

"Oh and Father dearest, you may want to call Dusty's former employer and let him know he's no longer interested in the position. I think I might have explained it to him already. But, just to be sure...and he may want to contact his lawyer, too," I added.

Dad seemed to slump, like he'd just aged twenty years. He looked at Dusty.

"I'm sorry," Dad's voice broke.

"I'm sure you are," I answered, touching my brother's arm again. "But, too little and much too late."

I watched my father pour coffee and look at us a moment, then leave the room like his feet each weighed a hundred pounds.

It was the last time I saw my father alive.

~*~*~

This was the best day of my life.

I spent it with Alec, and he stayed with me the whole time, letting me lean against him and getting me anything I wanted to snack on. It was almost funny, we made this game out of it, I would just pretend to get up and he would jump up onto his feet and ask what I wanted. Then he would go get it and bow as he gave it to me. He seemed so happy when I smiled.

We watched TV together, and I ended up sleeping a lot. I didn't want to, but I couldn't help it. He put more of that medicine on my back a couple times and he checked on my hands. I didn't like that Sebby had lied to him.

"I didn't burn them, Alec. But I had to agree with whatever he said or..."

"I know. It isn't your fault. You've been hurt badly, Dusty. When that happens, people get scared, like you were. It'll take time to get over, to stop being afraid and I'll help you," Alec told me.

He talked about things from the past, things he'd done and places he'd gone. I tried to imagine it. I asked him what it was like to see and to go to school. I was able to ask all the questions I had never been allowed to before.

He told me that I could see and that we would be going to a doctor who takes care of eyes to find out exactly how well. I wasn't sure I believed him completely, he went out of his way to say only kind things. I was somewhat in awe of it and I didn't understand it. So much seemed to have changed that I just couldn't seem to stop worrying.

And yet, it was all overshadowed by what I felt for Alec. It was so strong I wanted to cry just looking at him.

I didn't see father all day. He stayed in the den on the computer, didn't even come out to eat or anything. Alec had upset him, I think by knowing he'd lied. I didn't exactly feel sorry for him, but I did wish things were different. I wish we could've all been family.

Alec and I went to his room after he made supper. He wanted to show me some of his games, he said. I was tired though and that seemed to bother him. He kept asking me if I was all right. I had to tell him. I had to explain about what being in that closet did to me for weeks after.

~*~*~

The more I found out, the more horrified I was.

I lay down with him to let him rest, he seemed to need me close.

I had already decided what I was going to do. I would give my father one chance to tell me everything. In return his ass would remain out of jail and he would pay for what my brother needed, an optometrist first of all and therapy and tutoring... all that just for starters. He was also going to pay for somewhere for him and I to live. I didn't want Dusty to have to see him and be scared every day.

Then, I would slowly get the rest from Dusty, when he was able. He would not face these memories alone.

I would bring my brother all the way home...

The phone downstairs rang.

I had heard my father leave after Dusty and I had come up here, quite some time ago. I went down to answer it, but the machine got it first and the hospital left a message for me. I called right back with my heart in my throat.

That's when I found out about the accident.

My father had lost control of his car and it had dived off the road and over a cliff.

They had not come right out and said it, but I knew. He had not survived.

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~*~*~end Part Two~*~*~