Drunken ramble

‘Come 'ere Mate,
Come sit down
Their ain't no need to frown

I’m as merry
As a merry-go-round
But that don’t mean my mind ain't sound

Because, my friend,
Let me tell you this
Hang fire, I need a piss

Right Mate,
I’m feeling better
Mind, my pants are a little wetter

Don’t worry about that
It will dry right out
What was it I was talking about?

Woman!
That’s right
Always wanting a fight

I come home drunk
And don’t want trouble
But she always bursts my bubble

Cos if it's not one thing
Then it’s another
I didn’t mean to snog her mother

She was all right
But that’s not the point
Or was it? I’ve forgot.’