Peter & Austin (Chapter 1)

Austin

My body was still recovering from a massive adrenaline rush, it seemed, as every part of me felt weak, exhausted, and heavy.  I describe it objectively like this because my brain was still a little bit in shock, I think.  I couldn't really feel or remember what happened straight away.  Upon opening my eyes, however, things started coming back...I remembered I wasn't alone.  He must have stayed there with me all night.  Was it night?  How long had I been sleeping?  I felt confused and struggled to clarify my surroundings.  The sheets felt prickly with dried blood on my exposed skin under the blankets wrapped around me, and daylight peeked through the blinds on the window in my room.  Peter sat next to me in his clothes from the day before with concern on his face and in his voice.
"Austin."
He was gentle, and reassuring.  I swallowed hard, and looked at him, squinting as tears hit my eyes.  My arm had been violently twisted, and the metallic taste in my mouth made me nauseous.  My head began throbbing with such force, I was sure it was visibly pulsating.
"Peter..."  I started, while my voice cracked hoarsly, swelling with tears. "Peter, I didn't...He just--"
My body felt bruised as I tried to sit up and and then I laid back down with the growing pain.
"Hey I know, I know...it's okay..."  He said quickly and calmingly, "Just relax, I'm here."
"Fuck, Pete...my head..."  I gingerly touched my face, remembering the blow to my jaw that must have put me out.
"I know, I've been putting ice on it...here..." He grabbed the ice wrapped in his shirt and put it in my hand.
"Thanks..."  I touched his shirt to my cheek, and the endorphins started kicking in.  I tried sitting up, successful this time. "Peter, I'm so sorry, I--"
"Austin, don't apologize...this isn't your fault." The sternness in his voice dissipated quickly, "I'm just glad I got here when I did."
I reached for him, and recoiled involuntarily, glancing towards the open door, then to him, worried and ashamed.  He wrapped his arms around me and gently pulled me in.
"Austin, hey, no...it's just us now, you're safe...we're okay."
In his arms was the only place I did feel safe.  I layed my head on his shoulder against his neck, and the pain came out of me in sobs.

Peter

We'd met almost eight months ago at the hospital.  I'd  worked there as a lab technician for a year and half.  Every time I came in to work, it was the same thing.  At five or six in the morning, the sliding doors would welcome me into the warm, sterile hospital.  I'd say good morning to the receptionist, remark about the cold outside, and nod a hello or good morning along the way to the lab at the older people behind their patient reception desks...maybe make a joke about sticking them with needles or sucking their blood.  It was a smaller town, and hospital, so I'd gotten a lot of amused attention from my co-workers when I first started there at 22 right out of school.  I was young, but I was quick, and determined in my enthusiasm for medicine...I got to know these people gradually and became--amidst the accompanying blush--forthright with my sexual preference if people asked.  We had a good time in the lab, playful bantering back and forth, but it was always respectful, and never in front of the hospital's patients.

One morning changed me forever.  I'd come back from a few days off.  I walked in as usual, said hello, and as I walked to the hallway in my usual morning greetings, my eyes fell upon him and I was stunned to silence.  He said hello, introduced himself, and offered his hand which I shook.  I then hastily introduced myself.
"Uh, oh, I'm Peter.  I work in the lab."  I laughed a bit in embarassment.  He smiled, nodded, and said it was a pleasure.  The patient sitting at his desk looked up at me expectantly, and I turned and kept walking, my heart racing as I repeated the awkward interaction in my head.  Uh, I'm Peter, I work in the lab?

Every morning after that was full of anticipation.  His features were striking, and I wondered if he was modeling or acting on the side.  Surely, he was.  He seemed modest and level headed though...his warm blue eyes smiled with confidence, and it looked like he could have been a swimmer with his lean physique.  His blonde, shaggy hair looked kind of emo even if he was buttoned up, and...I liked it.
I found myself wondering about him more and more...and taking longer to stomp the snow off of my shoes and walk through the foyer hallway to the lab.  I joked with him, and he joked right back.
"How old are you anyway, 18?"  I joked, halfway seriously curious.
"You mean you didn't start here when you were 18?"  He responded seriously, then broke out in a grin.
I learned he was actually 22 and felt like I now had sort of a confidant in the medical profession...even though we'd not really gotten to know eachother much besides the morning conversation at this point.  A beautiful guy working in hospital reception and not modeling with what he surely knew to be such classically attractive features had to have a story,  right?  So one day after his patient was checked in, and I was on my lunch break, I asked him if he'd want to go grab something to eat from the cafeteria.

He took me up on it, and we walked towards the elevators.  Jess, a thirty something fellow lab rat raised her eyebrows as we passed.
"Oh, hey Pete, they moved that T.S back to 3 o'clock, so take your time."  And with that, she winked over her shoulder.
I opened my mouth in retort, but the elevator came just then and we stepped in.
"So, Pete, the T.S is moved back, huh?"  Austin quipped good-naturedly, glancing at me with an amused expression.
I smiled,  and shook my head, "Yeah, I guess so...I've got to hand it to her, she does fortify my existence with her biting wit."
Austin laughed.  His hips fell against the railing and he crossed his arms over his chest.
"Well, it's a good thing she let us know--and with even an approving wink, was it?"
I opened my mouth again in in surprise as heat rose to my cheeks.
"I had hoped you didn't seen that." I confessed as we walked into the cafeteria.
He grinned earnestly, "No, I mean, I'm actually quite flattered."

Austin

I had been interviewing everywhere, and with my business and psychology degree, I was having quite a time of it deciding what I wanted to do.  I'd done quite a bit of modeling while I was in school to support myself, and my mother.  She was in a wheelchair after the car accident that killed my dad when I was 15.  Everyone told me I should just continue modeling, traveling, and 'live the easy life'.

The trouble is, it would mean distancing myself even more from my family and I knew how it worked, the talent business can be very isolating.  Focusing on outer appearance seemed so vain and trivial, but I was used to people commenting on how I looked...cute, angelic, hot, charming, lovely, even pretty, and beautiful, were things I heard from random strangers with that intimidated look in their eyes, and it was often.  At one of my interviews, the woman interviewing me audibly gasped as I walked into the room.  Needless to say, one look at her face, and I knew I couldn't work for her no matter how suited the job was.  I'd be fending off advances left and right.  From the time my dad died, I was made to feel very uncomfortable as sometimes people would assume that I was self absorbed and overly-confident, or was passing judgement on them when I was simply just sad and trying to work through my dad's death.  They'd sometimes say things that were very hurtful and couldn't, or refused to see my good intentions.  I think it's worth mentioning how alienating that sort of thing is for anyone, and I learned that for people to assume anything about anyone is just wrong and unfair.  So I learned how to respond to people.  It really is ingrained when you begin to count your blessings, appreciate whatever life gives you, and have a positive outlook.

After taking the job offer at the hospital, my family showed happiness and approval, and I was glad, too.  I felt more fulfilled already.  People were so interesting and I'd be helping all kinds of them every day.  My first day was hectic.  Four ambulances came in within the first 2 hours, and I shadowed another receptionist as he took all of the information.  I tried not to reflect too much on the situation resembling my parents' accident, and I felt confident that feeling would lessen in time. My manager said I handled everyting well, and reassured me that they didn't often see things like that.

On the second day, I met Peter.  I hadn't seen anyone in their twenties on staff yet, and he looked to be maybe 24.  He walked in confidently, joking with the other receptionists as he shook the snow from his dark hair and jacket.  I noticed the hospital staff badge as he stopped near my desk.  The older gentleman I was helping stopped talking, and I quickly introduced myself.
"Hi, I'm Austin...I don't think we've met yet."  I extended my hand and he shook it.  He smiled and he seemed surprised...I probably did too.  His eyes were bright, friendly, and green and his cheeks were flushed from the cold.
"Oh, uh, I'm Peter...I work in the lab."  He laughed shyly, and I felt my pulse quicken.
"It's a pleasure to meet you."

Peter

Austin seemed to have adapted comfortably to the office after his few weeks of training.  We spoke most every morning and sometimes had lunch in the cafeteria, talking about our lives, experiences, and what had brought us to where we were.  He and I joked with eachother about being the only two twenty somethings on staff in probably all of the hospital.  When he talked about the crash, his mother's injuries, and his father dying so suddenly, I had the overwhelming urge to stop and hug him right there in the hallway but resorted to a hand on his shoulder as we walked.
"Man, I'm sorry.  You seem like you're in a good place though, emotionally, and you know..if you ever need anything--" I started, and stopped as he tilted his head with a smile, probably having heard this so many times before, "But, really--"
"Thanks...I've worked through it.  I mean...me and my family...we're doing really well.  I appreciate it."
"Of course...and I mean it...anything."  I said sincerely.
"Anything?"  Austin asked, a grin tugged at the corners of his mouth.  Our pace had slowed down, and we were basically stopped now just near the office entrance.
"Yeah..."  I studied his expression for a second and my pulse sped up with the implication in his voice, "anything." I repeated, breathlessly.  We hadn't spoken of relationships between us, but I wanted him to know that I cared for him.  I wanted to lean in and let it happen, surely I was reading his body language correctly...but we were in the hospital, at work.  I stood back a little and crossed my arms over my chest, keeping myself in check.  Honestly, I didn't even know if he was feeling what I was...but I had a pretty good idea.  We continued silently and he walked with me to the door of the lab.  Staff was coming in and going out...it was the mid-day rush.  He brushed the hair out of his eyes and rubbed his brow slightly.
"Hey, I know you've got to get back, but...I've been hearing about this really good Indian place downtown," he hesitated, looking down, and I couldn't breathe, watching his brow furrow and then relax as he looked up at me,"Do you want to go get some food with me tonight?"

Austin

We'd stopped walking and our words had trailed off.  The way he leaned towards me, I thought he might have tried to kiss me.  When he didn't, I felt a  tightening in my chest.  He crossed his arms and I thought on him as we walked back.  I'd heard things about him and a girl he used to be seen coming and going with.  About a week ago, one of the billing clerks, Amy, said she'd heard she'd cheated on Peter and they'd broken up a year ago and no one had seen him with anyone since.
"Why are you telling me?"  I'd asked her as she leaned on my desk, "It's none of my business."
She grinned and swatted me on the shoulder with her folder, "Oh come on, Austin!" And walked away.  I shook my head smiling and turned back to my computer.  Am I that transparent?

Most of the guys I'd been out with were models...and most of them also just wanted to make out with another guy in front of the girls.  Most of them were just interested in the surface of me.  I'd never really pursued a guy that went to such great lengths to get to know me.

I'd made up my mind then to ask him go out with me...there wasn't any harm in it, and anyway, he wasn't the type of guy to be offended, or ridicule me, if he wouldn't accept.  His smart, slightly nerdy lab humor intrigued me, as did his maturity, and philosophy.  He was charming, honest, and incredibly attractive.

Peter

Austin arrived at my door exactly at 8, dressed in a black peacoat that stood in contrast with his smooth, pale skin, reddened cheeks, and bright eyes.  A little white cloud of steam escaped his lips as he spoke,
"Hey," he said breathlessly, with a smile and his hands shoved into his pockets.  He motioned with his shoulder to the shiny, pristine looking BMW in the driveway.
"Ready for something spicy?"
"You weren't kidding when you said you were a model, huh?" I asked jokingly, locking the front door behind me.
"What?  Oh, yeah the car...I was talking about the food...this?  It's just a car."  He shrugged, with an innocent smile, "Get in, the heater's on."
We both got in and pulled the doors shut.  Austin pushed play on his iPod, and sweeping Sigur Ros filled the car quietly.
"Your apartment is easy pretty to find," he said, pointing to the red door.
"Good."I stated, grinning to myself.

The seats were warm, and the car carried itself over the harsh winter roads well.  We joked about work.
"So, what do you do back there in your laboratory all day?"  He pronounced 'laboratory' like it was accompanied by a Transylvanian castle and clap of thunder.
"I'm do tox screens mostly," I replied, making it sound just as exciting as it was, "I wish it was a laboratory, though, with mad scientist gear and strobe lights and everything.  Basically, that just means I test various fluids for things like drugs, sometimes cancers, and metals mostly."
"Sounds kind of exciting...you know who is high, and who's just crazy.  You get people busted!"  He grinned.
"Yeah, but I don't have to deal with them like you do.  I just dip their blood in solutions and watch it change colors."
He smiled laughing, and spoke, "Yeah, man...sometimes it's hard to tell.  People come in just out of their mind you know?  I just try to put them at ease and be sincere...it's pretty hard having to tell them that they have to go somewhere else for treatment sometimes because they don't have insurance.  That part I kind of have trouble with...but I'm glad they're hearing it from me in a way too."
I nodded in response, "Yeah, you are quite the charmer."
He rolled his eyes with a grin on his lips.
We sat quietly looking out the window for a while.  Outside the traffic buzzed along, some people going way too fast for the road conditions.
"Some people don't get it," I said as an oversized truck zoomed ahead of us, "He's not thinking about anyone but himself."
Austin nodded, "It's is incredibly selfish and just dangerous."
I realized it was probably experience talking, and I searched for the something else to talk about.  His iPod was playing Feist.
"Feist is good...mellow...lush...and dare I say pretty provocative.  Do you like radiohead?"
"Oh, yeah...amazing what those guys do.  Did you hear they just kind of gave away their latest album online?  I have it.  You can choose however much you want to pay for it, how awesome is that?"
"Yeah I heard that.  I haven't downloaded it yet though.  How much did you pay for it?"
"30 bucks."  He said with a grin, his eyes on the road.
I looked at him, and shook my head grinning and spoke barely audibly, "Unbelievable."


I held the heavy door open, and followed Austin inside.  The restaurant was dimly lit and crowded with just the perfect conversational volume of sitar and tabla.  We were led to the back were there was a corner table set up with traditional cushions.
"Oh wow,"  I looked at Austin who was biting his lip.
He turned to our host, "Thank you Prajeet, it's beautiful!  This is my friend Peter.  Peter, Prajeet. "
He bowed, and extended his hand.  I smiled, nodded, and shook his hand.
We both crawled somewhat awkwardly into the cushions and sat with our backs against the wall in the corner, Austin on one wall, and me on the other.
"Wow, this is such a great setup!"
"Yeah, cool huh?  You've never sat at a table like this?"
"No," I replied, and raised a brow, "Have you?"
"Yeah...well I did a pretty quick shoot in India last summer for this magazine...but they took us to some amazing traditional places to eat.  I hear the food here is supposed to be really good."
"What?  Austin, that's amazing!" I looked at him, impressed.
He smiled, and nodded modestly, "It was pretty fun.  I know Prajeet from school though, he studied engineering.  I wonder what he's doing now."
I studied his face and felt all tangled inside...he was such a lovely and mysterious creature.

Austin

We'd enjoyed the curry spice of our meals, and I was glad to see Peter enjoying himself so easily.  Our conversation had been constant and varied...with moments of laughter, animated rants, and bits of pretty refreshing honesty on both our parts.
I watched him as  he was talked about his siblings...not really comprehending all the details of what he was saying, but enjoying the gesticulation with which he spoke.  He had a knee up, and his hand kind of danced atop it, resting at different intervals of the story.  Every once in a while the candle on the table would catch his watch, and my attention was refocused to his face...his eyes and his mouth.  His head rested on the wall leisurely, and he'd look over at me every now and again and his animated eyes would convey more meaning than his hands.  He stopped sort of mid-sentence, and a self-conscious grin formed on his lips.
"Yeah...sorry,"  He looked down with a little laugh, waving his words away, "I don't know why I keep going off on...random things...so that wine was uh....it was pretty strong...I'm not usually a wine drinker...maybe--maybe that's it."
"Yeah, no, it's all good and...I'm kind of just fascinated is all.  I'm enjoying all this real conversation...believe it or not, I'm usually the one doing all the talking...but this, you're great, maybe we should get another bottle of wine or something."  I grinned, joking, and he seemed relieved and laughed.
Our conversation trailed off as we both seemed to be taking in the warmth of the wine, and the rich, cultured atmosphere of the restaurant as he spoke,
"I'll bet you do...actually...I mean, you seem to have had all of these exotic experiences...all of these interesting stories to share...I can see how attractive that is."  He shifted a little, pulling himself more upright against the wall.
I laughed, looking at him with a smile, and then back down at ornate table before us.
"Well, I'm glad you think so." I said earnestly, with a little shrug.
"Well it is kind of obvious...I mean..." He said, accenting 'is'.
"Well," I started, laughing, "You're making a pretty good impression here.  It seems like a lot of people I've kind of  gotten to know in the past don't really want to talk...or like, they just want to--,"  I hesitated, having not wanted to say that, "I don't know.  I've just never really felt like they'd reciprocate...so it's never really worked out."
I think the wine had gotten to me too, a little bit, and I felt flushed and concerned about how he might take what I'd just said.
"So you mean, in relationships?"
His question made me warm under my sweater.  We hadn't really spoken of our past experiences yet.  I nodded, and he looked at me with a subtle, surprised interest.
"Yeah, ya know,"  I cleared my throat and continued, "For me, being gay just isn't about crazy sex and...a lot of people seem to have really nervous, preconceived notions about that."
He took a breath in, and looked down, hesitating with how to respond, and finally he spoke,
"Well.." his eyes flickered across my face, "no relationship should be, right?"  He looked at me, unwavering, and smiled.
I couldn't help smiling, and breathed with a sigh of relief.  His response was adorable.

Peter

We'd made it back to my apartment with the red door, and were sitting in the driveway.  All the way, I'd been smiling to myself of the incredulousness of the situation.  I'd known he was gay, and maybe that's why I felt so excited when he showed interest towards me.  I mean, I didn't know know, but he just seemed like he might have been...he was petite and kind of femininely built but assertive, devestatingly attractive...and he'd just paid for my dinner on a date that I enjoyed more than any I'd ever been on...including every one of them with my former girlfriend of a year.  I'd never been with a guy before, but I'd thought about it.  I'd wanted it to happen, and I'd hoped that it might one day.  My mind was rushing through scenarios, questions,  conversations and answers, and above all I was excited, and wondering what he was thinking.  I wanted to be with him.
"Hey, do you want to come in?  I thought maybe we could hang out for a bit...um...I don't have wine, but I have some beer..."  I paused, hoping he would even though we had to be at work too early to even think about right now.
"Uh...sure...I'd love to."  He'd hesitated, probably thinking about work, and turned to me with a mix of eagerness and surprise that I hadn't seen before.

We walked in, and were greeted by Sam, my black pug.  I apologized and said I hoped Austin wasn't allergic.  He knelt down to Sam's frenetic dance as I shut the door behind us.
"Nah, wow he's full of energy!"  Austin laughed, as Sam pawed his lap and licked at his neck.
"Yeah...Sammy!  Down!  Jeez!  Sorry...he's small but mighty.  He likes you."
Austin stood up, laughing.  I looked at him apologetically while turning on the lights.
"No worries, he's cute...does he writhe like the every time you open the door?"  Austin grinned, as we walked by my modest living room to the kitchen.
"Yeah, pretty much...he's a happy guy.  Pugs don't really bark so I guess he's got to get it out somehow."  I took Austin's coat and laid it over a chair with mine.
"This is pretty much the coat closet...I guess they didn't plan on their renters having guests or something...so hey,"  I opened the fridge and took out two Red Stripes.  I popped the tops off of both, "Red Stripe?"
Austin thanked me and took it, looking around the room.
"Oh, let me give you the tour...well it's not much of a tour, but anyway, the kitchen," I motioned to the sink, stove, fridge, and then walked out into the hall, pointing across, "Bathroom...and if you turn just 90 degrees to your right, my room, and then the living room is this way..."
Austin peeked into my bedroom, and we walked to the living room where I had a pretty minimalistic setup of a couch, armchair, coffeetable, and bookcases.
"Yep.  Pretty fancy, huh?  I decided against the marble floors, I thought it might just be too over the top." I said, grinning and sat on the couch putting my feet on the table.
"Yeah, good call.  But no, it is modest and comfortable...I like it,"  Austin laughed as he sat on the couch with me, squinting at the books in the cases,  "Chemistry....Biology...Medical Technology..." He smirked at me, "Bring your work home, much?"
I laughed, and shrugged, taking a sip of my beer.
"It seems that way, doesn't it?" I raised my eyebrows, playfully eyeing him over.
He opened his mouth as the joke hit him, and he swatted at my arm in protest.
Sam barked at Austin's sudden movement from his vantage spot in the chair, and Austin looked at me with a laugh,
"Aw, sorry Sam.  Pete's fine, I won't do it again."
"Fine?  You think I'm fine?" I contended, holding my arm in feigned agony as a grin played on my lips.
Austin shook his head, amused, and then said in a more serious tone, "Actually...I would consider you that, yeah."
I felt myself flirting with him, and I couldn't help it...he was flirting right back.

I'd put on some old Radiohead and we'd nearly been though the whole album already.  We'd become more comfortable on the couch partially probably because of the beer, and partially because we'd never talked in such a relaxed atmosphere.  Austin had taken off his sweater and it had ended up under my arm I'd now realized.  His was sort of laying on the pillows and his feet were on the table next to mine.  The conversation had turned kind of theoretical and as we spoke about religion and philosophy...I noticed how his hair fell over the pillow as he looked up at me, making a point that I agreed with.  We were definitely on the same level of consciousness.  Talking with him was so comfortable and genuine and I wanted to feel as close as I could with him.  The music was pulsing low, and I felt like we might never be like this again if I wasn't honest with him now.
"Austin?" I asked quietly as our bodies were now touching side by side.  The warmth was making me light headed.
He turned his head towards me with his warm eyes looking at me expectantly...his mouth was open a bit and his lips were closer than ever.  I breathed in, and without uttering a syllable of my question a smile spread over his face and he touched his lips to mine.  I kissed him...and our bodies responded genuinely.  He pressed towards me and my hand pulled his hips closer as we kissed again.  He kissed me once more and pushed away and we laid there in silence, unmoving as we caught our breath.