Poem: Traveling

I feel horrible, curled up in my bed
An empty hole tearing at my heart
A vacuum sucking my life out

It's never coming back
That feeling of happiness, of exuberant joyfullness
I want it to go away, or stay
But coming in, or out...always traveling through my mind
I can't stand having that happen

Chances only come our way once in every life
Chances that may change the way we look at everything
Opportunities jumping past, riding on a bike
Living life without a partner, that's the everlasting sting

He was the perfect guy - had everything I'd look for in one
The only problem was he wouldn't give me a second glance
I got tired of waiting, of wondering if he'd notice
And I tried to make the first step in crossing that bridge

Five months later, and I feel like I'm only two steps past
Five months later, and I'm starting to wonder if I'm wasting my time
Could I ever even have a chance at getting near his mind
Could I ever even have a chance, or am I wasting all my time

Sure there's guys closer to me, a bit more in my age
But could I ever stand the lack of respect in that last page
The book of my life is not halfway through, but I'd like to hurry up
I'd rather be a romantic failure then a loner and a schlup

Oh God oh God, why can't he see that we're so much alike
I wonder if it's naivity, or if he's really saying "Take. A. Hike."
I know he's single - that's the point - but does he have his eye on some other girl
It's just too much waiting for him, and without my patience I'd almost hurl

I'm not quite sitting in bed every night
Clutching my innards to keep them from falling out
But it is testing my patience, and I wonder...am I really wasting my time?
Do I have a chance with him?
Could I ever be happy with him, or does he hide behind a mask, like me?