Tortured soul scene- bits and pieces

The pressure builds inside with each decision as if on each one rests the fate of the free world. The explosion is inevitable paralyzing my ability to face it, yet I know all to well I can face it and conquer it. Fear is the enemy and we must always learn to get past it. I laughed out loud. A tortured soul only I was the one tightening the grip. I wish I could just release myself and let it go. Dropping to my knees, I screamed to the sky “Why is it always me? Help me please God, just send me a sign! I need to know what to do—how to proceed!  So lost in thought I was oblivious to the real world, my feet had anchored into the sand and I was staring at the lightening. The melodic crashing of waves the last sound echoing in my ears as darkness falls.