Is this love or am i blinded by lust. |
I got on the phone excited that he called. Though this would be the fourth time he called today, I was still excited. I always was, I loved him. He completed my world, finish my sentences, and I loved him like no other. Even though he doubted how much I loved him by the way I acted, I really didn’t care. I knew it and he should of to. After I got off the I felt enraged, I wanted to cry but I couldn’t. He wanted to take sometime off. What was that supposed to mean. I thought I was enough for him but I wasn’t. I thought he loved me but I guess he doesn’t. The next day, after just surviving, I sat where I normally sat, with him. He seemed to be untouched by what all he had said last night. The next few periods were hell I couldn’t think strait, I felt incomplete, drained, my world was falling apart. My parents had been fighting a lot lately, and now my boyfriend the only thing that was actually stable in my life had also gone to the dumps. Going to lunch was strange, I had always waited for him and now it just felt strange. Having no one by my side, it felt horrible. Girlfriends I have none, so where was I going to sit? Standing in the line I saw him heading my way I got nervous, what was he planning on doing this time? Tears were the making. I looked in his eyes and he finally spoke after a silence “I am so sorry please go back out with me” he said. I didn’t want to say yes I wanted to say no, I promised myself I wouldn’t fall back into this again. But sure enough I blurted out “yes I will” mad at myself and at him. I whispered “damn it”. |