Descent into Hell

Here I go again
Spiralling
Needing to be kept on course
But I'm not

I'm spiralling again
My mind's whirling
A cavalcade of colours
A maelstrom of memories
A vortex of emotions
Here...there...here...there
Whirling, never stopping
Flashes of colour, an inky blackness
Feathers falling around me
As I tear the wings from my back, they slip away
So does the last measure of my sanity
It tears away like ripping a shirt off
Clawing, clinging, fighting, crying, screaming, praying, wounding, bleeding, slashing

I throw my head back and howl
Knowing I'm descending into hell
Into madness
Into a barren patch
With nothing for miles around
Where are they?
Where are they now?
Do they want to see me like this?
As I crash through the roof
And slam into the fiery pits, and keep going
Going even deeper, I see myself from up there, and from down there
I howl at the waste of my life
I scream at what I've done
I claw angrily at myself, wanting to start over
But that chance won't come
I know in my heart of hearts
Just like I missed my chance in high school
Just like I nearly died several times
Just like I should have
I'm a mistake
A waste
A smear

I hear a single note, I turn and look with bloodied eyes
I see an angel, coming to carry me home