Final Straw

3428 words

The Final Straw

CHAPTER ONE

It was the final straw. Debbie could not stand it anymore. She was packing her bags and heading for California—heading for her granddaughter.

She had experienced a lot of heartache and unhappiness over the years—much of it due to four failed marriages.  Some of her unhappiness was from working the graveyard shift for the US Government. Debbie tried to get a job on the day shift, but had been unsuccessful. She always felt tired, no matter how long she slept. She felt she was missing out…that life was going by without her while she was asleep. She went to work in a darkened room in front of computer terminals, while most other humans dreamed. Since she worked at night she had few friends.

Most of her happiness was accrued throughout the last year. Debbie divorced her  fourth husband (the bum refused to work and drank too much), her parents died six months apart; and then two months ago her son, Jason, her only child, was killed in an auto accident. He left a wife, Amy, and one child, Emily, Debbie’s granddaughter and only living blood relative. Counseling helped a little, but not nearly enough.

Emily was the joy of Debbie’s life. Every moment spent away from her was an agony. Each day Debbie counted down the days until she could go back to San Diego and see Emily again. She can see Emily’s sweet little face in her mind now. Her long dark hair and big brown expressive eyes. Her sweet smile as she said goodbye the last time, after Jason’s funeral--her little punkin sugar. Debbie misses her so much!

Debbie needed her three year old granddaughter. She needed to wrap her arms around her and hold her close, to spend time with her and feel that she has someone to live for. Amy did not understand. She is a bitch anyway, to Debbie’s way of thinking. Amy seemed to barely tolerate the three trips per year Debbie made from Oklahoma City to visit. Amy made every visit a nightmare—made Debbie feel like she was intruding. But Debbie thought she could stand anything as long as she got to spend some time with her son and granddaughter. Now she will never see her son again.

Yes, it was the final straw. Debbie called Amy two weeks ago, and after a few minutes of small talk, asked to speak with Emily. Amy refused, saying Emily was asleep. But Debbie could hear her playing in the background. Amy said that she thought they should discontinue the visits, that she would eventually remarry, that Emily would not remember her father in a few years. She could start over fresh with no baggage if Debbie would let go.

Amy thought she could simply erase the first three years of Emily’s life and start over, Debbie thought, with horror and anger. Not gonna happen! She will not take Emily away from me.

Over the last two weeks Debbie packed what she wanted to keep and got rid of everything else. She took a lump sum buy-out retirement from her job of thirty long years—no more graveyard shift for her. The apartment lease expired a few months ago and she had not renewed it, so there were no complications there. Debbie had her Ford Expedition serviced, and  was ready to leave. She finished putting the last of her clothing in the suitcase and zipped it closed. She set the suitcase beside the others near the door—one containing clothing for a three-year-old girl—and stood up. She saw her reflection in the mirror. A tired looking 53 year-old woman looked back at her. She saw more gray than blond in the hair, age spots among the wrinkles, and pale washed out, but determined eyes. Her thin slightly bent frame seemed shorter than it should for a woman of average height. A sad sight, she thought. Here was a woman who had spent her life sacrificing her own desires for everyone else. All she had to show for her sacrifices now were unhappiness and depression. I have nothing here now, she thought. I’m an orphan and childless. Just a shell of a woman. Debbie sat on the bed and put on her running shoes—she would be ready to run.

CHAPTER TWO

As Debbie drove west out of Oklahoma City, she daydreamed about what it would be like when she reached her final destination, San Diego and Emily. She contemplated the sunny days they would spend in Mexico. She thought about the trips they would take to the beach—could almost smell the ocean, feel the sun on her skin, and the sand beneath her bare feet. They would find all kinds of sea shells and build grand sand castles. Debbie would be a lot better mother to her little dumplin than Amy is, she decided. She would be indulgent—like a grandmother, but firm when it really counted. Her retirement money would go farther in Mexico than in the U.S. Her sweetie pie would have everything she needed—except for her father. This thought made Debbie sad again. Well, she resolved, she would be Emily’s mother, father, and grandmother. It would be alright—everything would be okay.

Debbie went over her plan again in her mind. She would arrive at Amy’s house Wednesday evening, at about 5 p.m. Amy got off work at 4 p.m., so she would have had time to pick up Emily from daycare and be home. Debbie would tell Amy that she drove to San Diego because she needed to see Emily one last time--to say goodbye. She would ask Amy if she could take her little darlin to her favorite park to play for a bit. That she wanted to get some good outdoor photos to put in her memory album. Debbie would assure Amy they would be back no later than 6 o’clock. If Amy waffled, Debbie would promise that if Amy would consent to this one little visit she would not come back—Amy need never see Debbie again. If Amy still refused, Debbie would threaten her with a court battle—grandparents have rights, she knew. One way or another, Amy would consent to a last visit. Debbie was sure of it. Once Emily was in Debbie’s car they would be on their way to Mexico. At 6 p.m., when Amy expected them back, Debbie and her punkin sugar would already be in Mexico, then long gone.

Debbie drove on, dreaming and planning, until about 10 p.m. It had been dark for a few hours and she was tired. She had been driving for fourteen hours or so, stopping only long enough for gasoline and drive-through fast food. She had hardly seen any of the landscape. Lord knew there was not much to see anyway after crossing the Oklahoma border into the Texas panhandle. So far she had traveled Interstate 40 through Texas, New Mexico, and was now in Flagstaff, Arizona. It had been a wet spring, and she had to admit that the blooming cacti were pretty. Debbie had enjoyed that part of the scenery. The air was sure drier than she was used to, and smelled different. She could smell sage, and other odors she could not readily identify. She would go south in the morning and catch Interstate 8, then would be able to drive right on to San Diego from there.

Debbie found a modest motel which had a vacancy. The room met her requirements which primarily included being clean. It predictably had a southwest décor. Debbie woke at 7 a.m. to a bright sunny day. She was surprised to feel rested, and she eagerly looked forward to the day ahead. She quickly showered, dressed, and ran a brush through her hair.

There was a restaurant in the motel, and Debbie decided that she had time for a real sit-down meal this morning. The waitress seemed to be tired and bored already, but she quickly brought the coffee and took Debbie’s order for a country style breakfast. There was nothing like a good cup of coffee. Debbie sipped hers and watched the traffic. She wondered where everyone was going. Were there any other grandmothers going past her on the way to see their grandchildren? She felt sure there were. Her breakfast arrived sooner than expected and she dug into her fried eggs, biscuits with gravy, bacon, and dollar pancakes. The food smelled good, but was not wonderful. It was adequate though, and would stick to her ribs. Debbie paid her check, tipped the waitress, and left the restaurant. She filled her gas tank at the convenience store next door, wrinkling her nose as she breathed gasoline fumes, then hit the road. The sun felt good now, but she knew it would be plenty hot later in the day. She had about seven more hours to drive before reaching Emily.

CHAPTER THREE

The rest of Debbie’s trip was as uneventful as the first day had been. She arrived within a few minutes of her target time—4:52 p.m. Thank goodness Jason and Amy had chosen a house on the south side of San Diego. She got off I-8 to go south in time to miss the worst of the rush hour traffic. As Debbie pulled into the driveway she remembered the first time she saw this house. She had been so happy for her son and Amy. They worked hard and were proud of their new home. It was nothing special, but cute, and adequate for their needs. Housing was out of this world expensive here. Oh Jason, she thought, my boy, I cannot believe you are gone. Her grief was like a living part of her—always there gnawing at her. I will not lose Emily too, she thought, I will not! I’ll teach that bitch to try and take my baby sugar from me, she vowed.

Debbie got out of her SUV and stretched. She was tired and had sat so long that her joints and muscles were stiff as a board--they protested every movement. It took a few seconds to get her legs to respond so she could walk straight. Then she walked up the sidewalk to the front door and pushed the bell button. She could hear the chimes in the house and could hear Emily’s little voice squealing in anticipation of a guest.

Amy opened the door with a frown on her face. “Debbie,” she said. “I am surprised to see you.”

I’ll bet you are, Debbie thought.

“Grandma,” squealed Emily, her little face aglow. “I am so happy to see you!” she chirped. She was wearing the cutest little pink dress, her little pony tails bobbing as she ran. She was the vision of her mother—a little Amy drop. Emily pressed between her mother’s leg and the door post and was scooped up by Debbie.

Debbie was in heaven, her eyes closed while she breathed the scent of her little grandchild, her own little Emily. “Baby doll, I am so happy to see you too,” Debbie said fervently, while hugging Emily. “I drove all the way from Oklahoma City to see you, sweet pea.”

Debbie opened her eyes to Amy’s neutral expression, and took note of her tired look and the bags under her eyes. She looked like she had lost weight too. It looked like Debbie had not been the only one grieving. “Amy is it okay if I take Emily to the park for awhile?” she asked.

Amy’s eyes softened. She studied Debbie and Emily for a few seconds, then replied, “Of course it’s okay. Emily has not had her supper yet though.”

“I don’t mind feeding her at all—would enjoy it actually,” Debbie said eagerly.

“Okay then, I’ll see you both in a little while,” Amy said smiling. “Perhaps I can make this place look presentable before you get back, and have your room ready for you.

CHAPTER FOUR

Debbie was jubilant. Wow, she thought, that was easier than falling off a log backwards. Way easier than I thought it would be. Plus, Amy had set no deadline for a return. I don’t have to have my little punkin home by 6 o’clock after all. I wonder how much time I have before Amy gets worried and calls the police. “What do you want for supper sweetie-pie?” Debbie asked.

“I want Burger Land, Grandma, can we go to Burger Land?” Emily said in her most excited little girl voice.

“That’s exactly the place I had in mind little dumplin,” Debbie said, with a hug. She strapped Emily into the car seat she’d had the foresight to purchase and bring along. “Let’s get you all buckled up sweetie,…won’t we have fun at the Burger Land?

“Yes, we will grandma,” Emily replied, her eyes bright, “there is a big, big slide at Burger Land. I like the big, big slide!”

“What would you like to eat…the hamburger or the chicken nuggets?” Debbie asked as she neared Burger Land, which was just a few blocks away.

“I like the chicken nuggets and the sauce…and french fries, grandma!” Emily replied.

“Mmmmm…french fries, grandma likes those too,” Debbie said.

Debbie parked the car and they went into Burger Land, breathing the scents of burgers and fries. Sitting in the bright orange and pink booth, Debbie had to prompt Emily to eat several times, for it was clear that Emily could not take her eyes off the play equipment in the enclosed Burger Land play yard. When Emily had finally eaten enough, Debbie took her to play. Mostly Debbie sat and feasted her eyes on Emily, and contemplated the next step.

She had not planned on spending time at a restaurant. In fact, she had thought that Emily would have already had supper. But, since Emily had not eaten, and there was no set deadline to have her home by, Emily might as well enjoy Burger Land.

Now, let’s see, Debbie thought, we can be in Tijuana in less than thirty minutes. Then we’ll… then we’ll….. what? Debbie expression changed from one of pleasure to one of shock and surprise. The remainder of Debbie’s plan seemed to turn instantly to smoke. She could almost see it drifting away on the breeze. What had she been thinking? Take her little punkin-sugar to Mexico? Without a passport? Yes, she could go across the border to Mexico without a passport, but what if Emily wanted to return to the states some day after she was grown? How would she be able do it without a passport? Debbie had flown to Cozumel once, on vacation. She had loved it and wished she could stay there forever. She could so vividly picture herself and Emily there together. However, she did not know what it would be like to drive that far in her car. She had no idea about whether there were places to stop and eat, or whether there were gas stations close enough together to keep her from running out of fuel. The truth was, she had not even thought about researching Mexico, had certainly not thought about passports. Debbie had vaguely thought she would simply drive across the border and keep on driving all the way to the southern tip of Mexico. Then they could take a ferry to the island of Cozumel. How dumb can I be, she thought. Dreams of smoke—that’s all I had.

Well okay, maybe Mexico was not the best idea I ever had. We could go somewhere in the United States—it’s a big country. She tried to picture taking Emily on a trip across the US. All she could see was a line of highway patrol cars behind her, and Amber alerts ahead of her.

“Grandma,” Emily shouted, breaking Debbie’s reverie, “come catch me…on the big, big slide. Here I come Grandma!”

Debbie stepped to the bottom of the slide and caught Emily as she landed. “Wheeee isn’t that fun?” Debbie laughed at Emily’s giggles.

“It’s the funnest Grandma; watch me crawl through the tunnel now,” Emily said, as she ran off. Her little face was glowing with pleasure. She turned back and said, “I wish mommy could see me. Next time can we bring mommy with us?”

Little children….there’s nothing like them, Debbie thought. It was a bittersweet moment for her. She wondered how she could have thought that she would be able to take Emily away from her mother. How could she have contemplated something that would cause pain to her grandbaby. Had she really thought that Emily would not miss her mother? “Sure we can pickle dumplin,” Debbie sighed.

CHAPTER FIVE

When Emily had wound down, enough to show signs of being tired of the play equipment, Debbie asked, “are you ready to go home baby doll?”

“Go home and see mommy,” Emily replied, as she rubbed her eyes.

Debbie strapped her back into the car seat, and drove back to the house. Even though it was a quick trip, Emily had already fallen asleep by the time they arrived. Debbie carried her from the car into the house. “She’s tuckered out,” she told Amy. “She sure does like that big slide at Burger Land.”

“Would you mind laying her on her bed Debbie? Then I would like for us to talk," Amy said.

Ah-oh, here it comes, Debbie thought. “Sure, I’ll be right back," she said.

When Debbie returned, Amy said, “Let’s go into the kitchen. I made a pot of coffee, and have a plate of cookies for us.”

“Coffee is always good,” said Debbie, “cookies too come to think of it.”

They sat at the table, Debbie apprehensive, and Amy nervous. Amy took a sip of her coffee and picked up her napkin. She began unconsciously twisting the napkin in her fingers, then said, “I owe you an apology Debbie. I really don’t have a good excuse for what I said to you on the phone the last time we talked. It was a terrible thing to do, suggest that you not see Emily anymore. I don’t know what came over me.  Jason would be so angry with me if he were here. I do not deserve your forgiveness, but please would you forgive me anyway Debbie? I am so sorry,” she finished earnestly.

Debbie was very surprised—this was the last thing she expected. What if she had not brought Emily home? She thought. She had almost made the biggest mistake of her life—and there had been plenty of mistakes. Debbie’s heart melted. She replied, “Of course I forgive you Amy. I was very upset—you’ll never know how upset. But I am better now. Let’s just forget the whole thing, alright?”

“It’s kind of you to say that," Amy replied, "but I will not forget. It was horrid of me. Listen, I would like to make a proposal, if I may,” she went on. “What do you think about living here, in San Diego? You don’t really have anything to tie you to Oklahoma City anymore, and Emily would be a fortunate girl to have two grandmothers close by. You could see Emily a lot more that way. I think you both would benefit from it.”

Debbie was stunned, “Why, what would I do in San Diego?” she said.

“Well,” Amy replied, “whatever you want. You could find a job if you want, or you could do volunteer work—whatever’s right for you.”

Debbie’s heart felt like it would burst with happiness. Her eyes glowed as she said, “Amy, you won’t believe this, but I retired from my job in Oklahoma already. I packed my stuff and brought it with me. Not planning to stay here, of course, but planning to go somewhere. I don’t know why I didn’t simply think about moving out here.”

“I do," Amy replied, “you thought I didn’t want you here. I have done some growing up since Jason died, especially in the last two weeks. I’ve had a difficult time sleeping since I spoke with you last. I know I have not been a good daughter-in-law in the past,” Amy’s eyes had begun to tear, and now overflowed, “but I would like another chance.”

“I’ve always been a sucker for tears,” Debbie sniffed, as she went to Amy and gave her a hug. “There’s nowhere I’d rather be than California—until it falls off into the ocean,” she said with a laugh.

The End