I am empty

I am empty,
Throught out my short but hard life,
I have felt empty,
uncaring,
Trapped,
yet I have had times of great freedom and hope,
I ran away twice because of bullying,
I thought bullying was the reason,
The reason why I felt trapped and empty,
for 11 years plus,
I endured endless pain and suffering,
ever fearfull of my dad's rage,
of my own rage,
I am a pacifist with a short fuse,
I was an atheist in a c of e school.
The mocking was crippling,
so naturally I assumed,
this was the cause of my emptyness,
indeed I created a theory,
that implied the universe was literally nothing,
I was alone,
but I was battered,
I coped by becoming a slob and a geek,
convincing myself,
tv and computer games were the meaning of life.
Douglas's guide helped me open my eyes,
I am still a slob,
I am still a geek,
but I crave freedom more,
it's the personel hurdles that we cross that give meaning to life,
I'm still empty,
but even though I was conned into selling my soul for a broken pen,
I shall be given a new and better one,
come 20/06/2008,
I shall go to cardiff,
home of doctor who,
and the slob, the geek, and the hitchhiker shall all be triumphant.
and I won't be empty anymore.