Two Words

Alexis sat in the cafe, staring listlessly into her coffee cup and willing herself to be still and calm. Her face gave away none of the turbulent emotions that were clamoring for her attention, the only give away was the chattering of the small silver spoon around the edges of the cup as she stirred her coffee. She had been stirring it for the last five minutes.

She looked around at the other patrons, searching their faces, noting how relaxed and happy they seemed as they discussed their weekend plans or argued good-naturedly about current events. She spied a pair of lovers in the corner, oblivious to the noise around them, wrapped up in themselves and secure in their coupledom. She sighed and turned her gaze back to the coffee cup, where she would not be taunted by what she had lost.

Two words could change so much, she reflected. She had woken up energized and happy as she did on any other given day, ready to meet the challenges of the day and thinking of her Marcus. Daydreaming about their date and where they might go, about his chiseled good looks and how it felt to snuggle into his broad chest.

She had bounded out of bed at about half past eight, scaring the wits out of her cat who had yowled at her in disapproval and scampered out of the room in a huff. Showerered and ready in a record 5 minutes, she had thrown her keys and her mobile into her handbag and raced out of her apartment, leaping down the stairs in twos and threes, impatient for the clock to speed forward so that she could throw herself into his arms. After two years her heart still beat faster at the sight of him, he was good-looking and intelligent, chivalrous in an age where chivalry was widely regarded as being dead.

So intent in her thoughts of Marcus was she that she had almost collided with an old lady who was trundling down the street carrying bags of shopping. Darting nimbly out of the way with an apologetic smile on her lips, she continued to race down the street.

Finally she was there, in the cafe where they had first met two years ago. She had lingered in the doorway and recalled studying the menu on that fateful day, looking upto be assaulted by the bluest eyes she had ever seen. Startled, she had wrenched her eyes away and hidden behind the laminated pages, but not without noting his rugged good looks, his well- built physique complimented by a basic black t-shirt and jeans that left little to the imagination. He had had wild brown hair that begged her touch: she had imagined plunging her fingers into that hair. She had sneaked another peek at him to see that he was noticing her as well, and the rest was history.

Entering the cafe she had searched for his familiar face and stopped in her tracks. He had been sitting at their table and he had smiled at the sight of her, but one look at him had told her that everything was all wrong. She had wanted to run, but instead sat down numbly and listened wordlessly as he explained why he was tearing apart her world, doing her best not to cry and make a scene. She had nodded as he ended it with the cliché that they would still be friends, and felt her insides shatter like fine crystal. He had kissed her cheek and then he was gone, and she was left alone with those two words reverberating inside her head. It's over.

The skies that before had been a clear blue radiating a gentle warmth had taken on a grey cast, all the colors of the day had become flat and stale, and she was chilled. She drank her coffee but did not taste it, and the jam croissant she had ordered sat on its plate untouched. Any food she tried would taste like cardboard and congeal in her throat.

She was woken out of her dreary musings by a light touch upon her arm, and she looked up to see a pair of kind brown eyes smiling at her. They weren't anything like the vivid blue eyes that had captured her heart so quickly, but the gentleness that she saw in them caused her to soften.

"Is this seat taken?", he asked, motioning to the chair across from her.

"Not any more", she replied, half-expecting him to take the seat to another table and disappear.

Instead he sat down, putting down the book he had been carrying on the table. He continued to smile at her and now she felt uneasy, was he someone that she should know but had forgotten?

"I've been watching you for a while now," he said, "and you looked so sad that I had to come over and talk to you. A pretty girl like you shouldn't be sad on a glorious day like today."

She shook off the compliment, if she really was that pretty then Marcus wouldn't have excused himself out of her life, and what was he talking about, what glorious day? It may as well have been raining, it would have suited her temperament more. He was looking at her, waiting for a reply,and she thought that she better say something lest he think she was incapable of intelligent reply.

"You were watching me?" she inquired.

"Yes. I saw you get left here by yourself, and I didn't want to intrude, but I thought that maybe you needed some company. I'll leave you alone if you want, but now might not be a good time to be alone if I've guessed right about what happened."

She bit off a tart reply and searched his eyes, but all she saw was warmth and kindness. She began to speak, intending just to give a brief sketch of the situation and the story came pouring out of her unbidden. He was a good listener, never once interrupting, letting her rant and rave without tiring of what she had to say, bringing her back to the point when she rambled off track.

She found herself admitting that she had had to change who she was for Marcus, and that it had always seemed as though she was never good enough for him. She had thought that if she was just able to do everything well enough perhaps she would be able to keep him, if she cleaned the house better, made herself more attractive, didn't argue when she disagreed with him. In other words, if she became a shadow of her true self. It still hadn't been enough. He hadn't appreciated her efforts on his behalf and had easily dismissed all that they had shared.

As she was speaking, she found herself studying her companion. His hair was black and tidy, his body was lean and he was wearing a pale blue collared shirt paired with light tan cargo pants. His cheeks were covered in light stubble and he had generous lips that were quick to smile. His was not the wild, dangerous good looks of Marcus, instead it was his smile that really made him attractive. His features lit up when he smiled, it changed a face that might have been ordinary into something that made you want to take a second look. He didn't make her heart beat faster and her insides melt, but he was gentle and attentive, and he listened to what she had to say as though what she said really mattered to him.

When she finished speaking she felt exhausted, but she was miraculously dry- eyed. Was that right not to be crying floods of tears for the man that she had thought was the love of her life? Should she not be inconsolable, hiding among the thick, warm sheets of her bed, amid a field of used tissues?

"Forgive my manners, we should be properly introduced, especially if we're to share stories like that one", he said, "My name's Michael, what's yours?"

"Alexis", she answered, "I don't know what made me do that, I don't usually share my problems with strange men".

Her cheeks colored as she realized what she had said, and she hastened to explain herself.

"Not that I think you're strange, I mean, I just meant that I don't know you and..."

He cut her off with a hearty laugh that brought a grin to her lips. What a fickle woman she must be, she thought, not only was she not wailing alone in her bedroom but she was actually smiling, with a man that she had just met, in the place where she had met and farewelled her former love.

"You're forgiven", he said, "I knew what you meant and I'll take it as a compliment. Would you like to go somewhere else? Somewhere that doesn't have the uh... history that this one does?"

She nodded gratefully and opened her mouth to ask where they might go when he answered her unspoken question.

"I know a nice place, it's near the sea, I go there sometimes when I need to think. It has a wonderful view and I think you'd like it. This day is too nice to be inside and we could make a little picnic. I mean, if you want to. You can go and be miserable if you really want to", he said cheekily.

"It sounds nice", she heard herself saying, and then she was being led outside into the sunshine that had all at once sprung back into a little bit of its former glory, and she was dazedly talking and laughing as though she hadn't just had her heart broken. As she looked into Michael's deep brown eyes that twinkled with laughter, she thought that wild good looks were not the only thing that could make a girl's heartbeat quicken. This man's real attractiveness lay in the kindness of his heart and soul, and she decided that she would take that over chiseled perfection any day.