Painted

I have misled myself.
I have changed myself for the wrong reasons.
The fear of not fitting in
Lasted through the fall season.

Every time I looked for clothes,
I would ask myself
Will this give me friends and popularity?
No, and I would put it back on the shelf.

I was tired of being silent
Continuing with my muted screams.
I figured I needed to change the core of who I was,
And become someone I didn’t care to be.

In my twisted world, it was dumb to be smart.
The earth would now revolve around me.
Don’t forget your lunch, oh and don’t forget to conform.
To be accepted was my never- ending plea.

You could say that I was made of stained glass.
I was easily breakable, painted and I was seen through.
Ridiculed by everyone in the class,
To myself I was scarcely true.

My new friends faded, my old ones ditched me.
I felt so alone that I couldn’t stand.
Was there anyone in the world that could possible love me?
I was going to snap, like a rubber band.

The oldest advice is usually the most accurate.
Just be yourself does sound kind of odd.
But if I ever wanted to survive through this prison they called school.
I couldn’t continue living a façade.