RODENT SLAYER QUEST Chapter 1

CHAPTER 1: Hi, I'm the Main Character

         Hi, my name is Veldis, and I’m the main character of this epic quest. My name starts with the letter ‘V,’ just like the word ventriloquist, or vivisection. As a Crimson Knight in-training, I’ve trained my whole life to slay various, giant, rodent-like creatures that are terrorizing our kingdom. I’m supposed to kill them, because they’re evil, and because they like, destroy things, and stuff. I think.

         Come to think of it, I’ve never actually seen one of these creatures. The King just wants me and every Crimson Knight to kill them. Maybe he just thinks they’re annoying.”

         Veldis looked down, away from the mirror and sighed a sigh of a thousand sighs.

         “It’s hopeless… I’m never going to get a girlfriend. I just… I give up. I’m not hot, sexy, or interesting enough.”

         He was in a castle. In the upstairs of the castle, and there were many beds. Heavily wounded knights, amputees, and smelly old men filled most of these beds. And in one of these beds, Veldis’s father lay dying. Dying of course, from an incurable tumor and a cyst in his brain.

         “Son.” He said. “Son, get over here. I’m… dying.”

         “Yeah,” Veldis replied. “I can see that. I know you’re dying. You’re bleeding from your ears, and you’re making weird groaning and gargling noises.”

         “Son… Come… closer… I want you… to know something… Something important…”

         “What is it, Vemos? (My father’s name also starts with the letter ‘V,’ cool, huh?)

         “Son…” Vemos moaned. “When... we die... our bodies… sink into the ground… new... grass is born... and the rodents… these furry rodents, they... AAAHHHGG! ...eat the grass. So… we are all... intertwined... by -”

         “Sorry father," Veldis nodded. "I’m not quite sure that I understand anything you’re saying. You’re just using way too many dang ellipses.”

         “the great… circle… of -”

         “Veldis!” Said a knight, bursting out of a door in the corner of the room. A door that lead to a spiral staircase in a tower. A staircase that connected the upstairs with the downstairs.

         It was another Crimson Knight.

         “What is it?” Veldis turned around towards the knight.

         “Lord-King has requested to see you, Sir Veldis.”

         “Great, I’ll be right there! Can’t wait, Ha-ha!” Veldis followed the other knight and ran downstairs with merriment.

         “Son…” Vemos strained. “Always… remember me. And… if I die… When I do, please… please do your best to lead the Crimson Knights… as my successor.”

         But Veldis had already left and was halfway down the spiral staircase in the tower by the time Vemos started moaning, so he didn’t hear a thing the old man said. Too bad.

         “So,” Veldis began. “What is this meeting with the King about?”

         “Lord-King.” The knight corrected. “And it’s --”

         “Is it a promotion?”

         “No, it’s --”

         “Oh, so I guess he wants to finally knight me, huh?”

         “No, you’re –“

         “Ohhh, it’s my birthday, isn’t it?”

         “No, no, no, and NO! For the love of -- just stop interrupting me! It’s very, very, incredibly rude!”

         “Oh… my bad. So this thing, it’s -”

         “No need to tell you now, we are already here before the Lord-King.”

         “…”

         The king sat on a perfectly polished, golden throne decorated with thousands of diamonds, jewels, and pearls.

         “Veldis, I have summoned thee.”

         “What for, your maj -?”

         “I have summoned thee.”

         “…”

         “I know that,” Veldis said. “Just tell me -”

         The king was silent. But…

         “I’m sorry. Did, you- did you just say something?”

         The king smiled.

         “No, sir Veldis. But Chippy did. He’s a little louder than usual today.”

         “Oh. I, uhh… didn’t even know you had a gnome on your shoulder. How long have you had -?”

         “Go, my young squire. Into my basement. My royal basement with many royal things in it. Down yonder there lives an evil spirit, one that hath haunted the basement for thousands of years.”

         “I… see.”

         “Slay that evil Spirit for me, and come back to me. We shall then see if you haveth whateth it taketh to be promoteth and knightedeth.”

         “Yes, your majesty. I-I'm sorry, is, is that a lisp?”

         “Shut-upeth!”

         “Forgive me, Lord-King. Anyways, I’ll do my best to help you and aid in your quest. There’s just one thing…”

         “What is it?"

         “Where did you find that creepy little -?” Veldis winced. “Oh, never mind.”

         “Farewell and good luck to thee on your epic quest.” The king smiled, and his shoulder-gnome grimaced.