Untitled

I drive alone
The highway is vast
The cars whiz by me
I don't feel like going fast
I have one hand on the wheel
And I'm pressing my phone to my ear
Listening to the many rings lead up to your voice message
The only way I've been hearing your voice lately
It's been quite a few days
I can't take the time to count right now
But they've gone painfully slow
And the truth is
I don't know if I can handle it when you come back
I don't know if I can spend any more days
Listening to you list the reasons we can't be together
Because I see us in a fairytale inside of my head
You gave me a preview of what it could be like with you
And I can't get it out of my mind
I just want it all the time
I sat here days ago
After speaking with you
You left me aching
And I wrote steady rhymes
That came with great ease
Words poured out of my fingertips
While tears pour from my eyes
And now, about one week later
I feel the wall back up again
And I'm numb
I'm blocking the feelings and I'm trying not to
But all the nights we spent together
The longing feeling that I used to have
Is just leveled out
Into a dull burning
But still I remember
Driving so late at night
Feeling like a hazy dream
Felt so good, I didn't know if it was real
The roads were empty
It was just me
With the lights on your street shining down
I never heard any noises
Just my own car door shutting
As quietly as I could
My own footsteps shuffling
As fast as I could
up your steps, through your door
That you left unlocked just for me
I'd see you there
Not notice me come in
I'd move across your floor
and press my lips onto your skin
I'd hope you wouldn't say a word
Because there was nothing I needed to hear
You were next to me and that was all I've ever needed
I can't get anything out right.
What is going on with me.