December 6 - Review Done

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This review covers what is basic for a short-short story or flash fiction.

A short story:

1. Gets off to a fast start.
2. Generally has a limited number of characters and scenes.
3. Starts as close to the conclusion as possible.
4. Frequently deals with only one problem.
5. Uses only the detail necessary for understanding the situation.
6. Usually covers just a short time period.

Every flash must contain a beginning, middle and end. The word length varies somewhat but many agree on 500 for a short-short and 1,500 words for a longer piece. The writing, itself, is highly precise and controlled using ‘word economy’ to the fullest.

How did this writer do with the above listed points? Numbers 2, 4, 5 and 6 are met completely. This leaves only number 1 and 3 that I feel are lacking.

1. Gets off to a fast start? I believe the first two sentences can be eliminated. They add nothing to the punch of the opening scene. I would suggest either (a)bringing them all together in just one tightly worded opening sentence or (b)use that third sentence as the segue into your story. The purpose of an opening sentence is to hit the reader's attention and hit it hard. Don't dawdle, there isn't time.

3. Starts as close to the conclusion as possible. There is confusion in this as at first the story reads as though the couple are sitting somewhere with ample time for the Main Character to take stock of the situation. The ending belies that and there is too much room for confusion. Again, a story this short needs to be as concise as possible to give the reader the most enjoyment with the least amount of words. Sometimes it helps with very short shorts to cut it apart and just start taking out paragraphs to see if they added anything or not.

CONCLUSION:
I can see great potential in this story with some TLC and tightening up on the idea behind the story. I was mislead and that was great! It was the purpose, I believe of the story. Mission accomplished there. The comparisons to others waiting was a nice touch, perhaps another observation would add to the dimension of this as well.

I will be interested in a re-write of this and do hope the author works on this piece further. It is well worth the time, exercise as well as the learning experience. WRITE ON!