how do i say goodbye

I've never been so sad
in such a happy place.
I've never felt this empty,
yet, I'm filled with such disgrace.
I've never felt so alone
in this crowded room of friends.
I never meant to hurt you,
my heart will never mend.
I've never felt this right
about something that is wrong.
I've never told you everything,
and I've known you for so long.
I've never been this close to death,
in such a wonderful place.
I never knew what beauty was
until I saw your crying face.
I've never made the right choice
about anything in life.
I've never wanted to leave you,
yet, I've held the sharpest knife.
I've never tried to understand
the simple things in you.
I've never been so scared,
and I don't know what to do.
I never thought we'd be here,
not knowing what to say.
I've never been this speechless,
is this the price I pay?
I've never gotten over you
and I know I never will.
I've never said good-bye to you,
and I'm not sure I ever will.