comfort in the form of an autumn rain

its been this like this for quite some time
a general acceptance of this life
settling for less than what i once required
lately i wonder when it was....
that moment i decided to no longer care
i often try and and pin point that moment
thinking that maybe it will give me a glimpse
i only want to understand where it is that i stand
these days its never close to anyone or anything
i would be nice to find a reason for anything
looking for it in every face i pass, and in all the things i have a massed
it seems so near, the reality of my surremder.........
but today the sky is grey and wet very much like myself
and i cant help be recognize the cold solumn beauty of it
its calm comforting blanket falls as far as my eye can view
and this is the only view that will let me survive as me