Watching Pop

“No, Nancy, that’s not where the laundry goes.”

I watched my tirelessly patient grandpa gently take the clean underwear from his wife’s gnarled hands. She was trying to put the freshly washed clothes into the microwave. My confused grandma argued with him for a moment, and then seemed to give up. Pop, as my family affectionately dubbed my dad’s father, placed the laundry in its proper place and carefully guided Grandma to her bed for a nap. Minutes later, he emerged and plopped next to me on their aging, plush couch, causing a poof sound and dust in my nose.

Pop looked different to me for the first time in my life. It wasn’t so much his physical appearance, as it was in his mannerisms and actions. He still had a full head of unruly white hair, and his eyes were still a piercing blue. But the lively, mischievous twinkle was gone, replaced with a dullness that startled me.

He seemed worn and weathered, just like the vintage couch we were sitting on. It’s funny; although Pop is 87, I had never thought of him as old. But after being away at school for two years, the difference was striking. Gone was the grandpa who used to take me on vigilante missions to paint over graffiti. No more would Pop take my siblings and I out of school (without our parents’ consent) to go golfing. Instead, his sole job now was a caretaker.

Taking care of his wife is a full-time occupation. She suffers from Alzheimer’s disease, causing her to forget how to accomplish simple tasks and occasionally become violent. In the past few years, Pop has taken to wearing long-sleeve shirts while in the company of others. He doesn’t want anyone to notice the deep scratch marks running down his forearms.

But I have never heard Pop complain. He has never once mentioned his wife’s condition, or his struggles to care for her. During my last visit, I witnessed Pop listening to his wife’s bizarre ramblings with the utmost interest. And although he has become wearied from his new domestic tasks, and Pop might not be able to go out and act like a big kid again, his unwavering and unconditional love for his wife is beyond admirable.