The Silent Ocean

The voice was my companion. He wasn’t there physically, but he was in my head. He told me he was the ocean, the sun, the moon, the stars and the breeze. He entered me in his own world and called it mine. He offered me peace and let me have his world. I called it another life in paradise.

Nothing ever made sense to me in life. Why life was so unfair? Why God was always working so mysteriously in our lives? Or where do we end up, when we make our final peace? My Grandmother always advised me to try to discover that other world. A world full of surprises, a world of peace, and the world we wish we all can have.

I never told anyone about my secret, because he told me not to. He said that if anyone else found out, his creation would be ruined. I don’t know how he brings me to this magnificent creation. I have no control, but he said he brings me to his world when he’s lonely or when he sees that I have a problem he can help me out with. He told me his ears are as open as the wide ocean. His advises are always the best solutions. He’s always right about everything.

He told me not to tell anyone about this world, but he never said to talk about something most people won’t believe that even exist. I asked my dad once during dinner, “Dad, do you still believe in God?” He replied, “Of course, you know how religious this family is, why you ask?” He stared at me. “Well do you believe God created a whole new world just for each of us?” I asked. He gave me a blank expression, “Did grandma tell you anything about this before she past away?” He said. “All she told me was to find what our true meaning is supposed to be in this world.” I look down at my plate. “She told everyone that and no one is ever going to figure it out.” We ended dinner a little early today because of the awkward moment.

It’s been two years since she past away, and two years since I was first brought to the front view of the vast and beautiful deep blue ocean. The soft sand inched between my feet as the breeze brushed against my face as I realized that paradise did exist. It seems to me as though that time would stop in one world and tick its minutes away in another.

I asked him once before he was going to send me back, “What would happen if someone found out about this place?” He paused for a moment as if he didn’t have an answer. “If I gave you a test, you would fail miserably, and when you do fail, you would see a different world. You would shed your tears until the sand below you becomes moisten.” I didn’t understand his reply until I lost the control of my emotions.

Two weeks have pass since I’ve last seen my other world. I was experiencing a succession of hardships in between this time. My father had past away two nights ago. He had fallen asleep one day after a long day at the office and he never woke up. My best friend moved a thousand miles away. And there was lack of my self-esteem when I felt like I was neglected by him, after I prayed to speak with him. I gave up and call in my guidance counselor. He took me through a series of psychological tests and therapy.

When he had figure out that my real problem was within my mind. I finally told him about my other world. How happiness seems to only exist to those who wish to fulfill his promise. How the horizon of the ocean show no signs of other terrain. And how his mysterious and righteous voice motivates you to open your heart, but Of course he didn’t believe me. He couldn’t help me. I feel asleep on the bus, when suddenly I found my self in a dark and bloodcurdling place. I felt the sand between my feet. I knew I was back in the other world, but there a problem. I didn’t hear the ocean move, I didn’t feel the breeze flowing, or hear his voice welcoming me back like he always did. I have realized that I failed his test. He was right. I cried because I have failed to obey him. The soft sand became moist and the Silent Ocean took my heart away.