One of Those Days....

..I woke early
crept out without a peep
got dressed in the kitchen
to let the misses sleep.
..High tide was nice and early
the salmon running hot
the perfect plan was going well
beat the sun to my favorite spot.
..I'll get an hours fishing in
then pick up her special plants
' Before the rush ' was warned
not to take a chance.
..Six fish in the bucket
as I checked the time
I was over an hour late
now I'll have to stand in line.

When will I learn I'll never get it right
she'll yell at me again well into the night!

"Those orchids will win prizes,"
still ringing in my ear
the line dispersed
' Sold Out'
realizing my biggest fear.
..A puny little orchid
every body had left alone
was the only one left,
behind the blood and bone.
..I grabbed the pissy pot plant
and grumbled to myself
looking high and low for more
on every single shelf.
..Found a few
that looked the same
twice the price
with a different name

When will I learn I'll never get it right
she'll yell at me again well into the night!

..I removed all the name tags
and put them in the back
raced back to the beach
ready to attack.
..The fish were still biting
harder than before
a chance of a life time
something I simply could not ignore.
..Fish for the in-laws on the BBQ tonight
justified my actions
as another hooked up for a fight.
Billy passed a stubby
boast about the swag he'd caught
both agreed,
this was the day of days all fishers sought.
..The morning sun had left us
it's time to get back to the house,
it's to the pub
the raffles are on
I'll win a veg pack for the spouse.

When will I learn I'll never get it right
she'll yell at me again well into the night!

..Twenty bucks worth of tickets
that'll surely get a win,
two beers placed before me
as I heared the chocolate wheel spin.
..Unbeaten on the pool table
and won my vege pack,
half cut I put the pool cue
back into the rack.
..Time to return to the misses
with flowers and the food,
not a worry about being late
these gifts will raise the mood.
..In time to start the barby
and act nice to her mum and dad
I'm sure they won't begrudge
the best day I'd ever had.

When will I learn I'll never get it right
she'll yell at me again well into the night!

Blow into the bag he said
with a stern look upon his face,
"You've done it now you stupid fool
your a definite drunken disgrace!"
..He locked the car
in the mid afternoon sun
and took me to the cell,
He laughed out loud
as he made the call
and knew the misses
would give me hell.
..She bailed me out without a word
then took me back
to the scene of the crime,
saw the fish and the vege pack
in the car with the heat,
now not worth a dime.
..Well the best laid plans
of mice and men
meant nothing on this day,
with a simple task
to buy her orchids
instead I went off to play.
..A ten minute job to buy her plants
turned in to the day from hell,
will now take a week
to rid the car
of a dreadful fishy smell.
..A reprieve for me
for four or five months
until these fake orchids throw a flower.
..When she works it out
they are all fake
I know I will feel her right hook's power.

When will I learn I'll never get it right
she'll yell at me again well into the night!