Going Polar

I feel euphoric when I am  North
Everything is easy and my  brilliance comes forth
I know I will accomplish anything with ease,
Nothing can stop me, and that is the tease.

My aura of confidence draws people to me,
At first,
Then something changes, and my actions become frenzied,
My brilliance is cursed.

Those same people cease to cheer,
I become too easily excitable,
Their unease turns to fear,
any opposition I meet I deem to be fighable.

Then comes the change,
Sometimes slowly,
My mind turns south,
my thouughts turn lowly,

My high minded tasks are only halfway done 
My thoughts turn dark, I just want to run.
Or lay in bed.
Sometimes I wish I were dead.

What keeps me going while in this state,
Is the knowledge,
That returning back North is my certain fate.

Cali Murphy