Why me?

I was in a state of disbelief. Questions flashed through my mind, thick and fast. “How did this happen? And when? Who did I know that could be responsible for doing such a thing?” But most of all, the question that constantly hounded me was “Why me??”

As I held back a solitary tear that was threatening to run down my cheek, I reflected on the events of the past few days for some little clue, for any scrap of information that might lead me to the person behind this task. My mind wandered back to my recent interactions with some unfamiliar characters. They had not given me their names, or indeed, any details about their true identities. They had been friendly enough, but behind the friendliness I felt a strong sense of efficiency. They had dealt with me for only the specific duration of time that it took to get the task done, before disappearing once again behind their veil of secrecy and intrigue. But then, said a small voice of reason inside me, that doesn’t really mean a thing, does it? After all, their behaviour was more the norm than the exception. It was no secret that the people here tended to hide their true selves behind false names and made up personalities. The risk of the unpleasant consequences that could follow in letting slip even the tiniest details seemed something that few in this business were willing to risk. Not for the first time, I started to appreciate the beauty, the efficiency of the system. About how complete the veil of anonymity that shrouded all of us was. The difference, however, was that this time, it was personal. The thing that occurred had happened to me, not to some unknown person that was no more than a name. Funny, isn’t it, said the voice of reason again, that the same event that you’ve seen occurring around you all this while, one that you’ve never really bothered about, suddenly seems so much more profound, so much more real when you’re at the receiving end? Funny how the same anonymity that you so willingly submitted to not so long ago can come back to haunt you?

If there’s one thing that’s true to all of humanity, though, it’s that we seldom listen to our individual voices of reason. No, give us a conclusion that’s final in every possible way and it’s the only thing that we refuse to accept. Even after all possible avenues of investigation are irrevocably closed, even when the conclusion, cold and final, stares us in the face, we are reluctant to accept it. We’re given to fretting and fuming, turning the facts around time and again, and generally just refusing to let the matter end where it should.  So it was that my mind continued to churn, bringing up increasingly absurd possibilities (maybe it wasn’t even a human, but the System itself that caused this event? After all, anything was possible in today’s world) but finally settling once again on that same irrefutable question, the one that precedes all others, the one that could arguably be the question that drives all of humanity “Why?” Or in this case, the equally universal, yet ironically the most individual question “Why me?”

After all, it was not like I had done anything to deserve this treatment. I was just an ordinary person going about my own business, one among the countless unknown, unnamed entities that walked this world. So why had I been chosen? Did I really possess some unknown talent, some unknown gift that the Others didn’t which led to this treatment? The thought suppressed itself almost before it was fully formed. No, that was insane. After all, I had personally seen Others in this world who were gifted beyond imagination. For all I knew, it might take me more than one lifetime to possess anything even close to what they had. So again, why me? Was it something I had done? Had I unknowingly said or done something to the person responsible that could have caused him or her to bestow this thing upon me? Or was this person merely a Watcher, stealthily eyeing some of my more public displays of talent from his/her shadowy realm, and had deemed me fit to receive this treatment? It didn’t make any sense, though. None of it did...

As I sifted through the facts again, I finally started to accept how fruitless this exercise was. Where I had hoped for definite answers, all I would get were half-formed hypotheses and fully formed speculations. My hope would continue undiminished, but my efforts would have to start dwindling, and soon. But on one thing I still remained resolute. As I swallowed the small lump that had formed in my throat, I resolved that I would not forget this. And what’s more, I would pay the person back. It might not be easy, it might not happen quickly, but happen it would. I still considered myself unfortunately incapable of doing the same to others (or even back to the same person) what had been done to me, but I would find other ways of paying him or her back. I had an idea of what it was that I was supposed to do, and even if it did not get done, it would not be due to lack of effort.

Before I could close this matter out, though, there still remained one final task. One that was neither difficult nor time-consuming. One that had stood out clearly…indeed the only thing that was crystal clear in all this tumult. So here it is, this most important, most sacred of tasks:

To the person who gifted me the Upgraded Membership at WDC, my sincere and heartfelt thanks! If you are indeed a person and not ‘The System’ I really appreciate your gesture. I’m not sure if I can fill in all the extra space you’ve gifted me in 3 months since I’m not exactly a prolific writer, but I will try. I wish I knew who you were so I could thank you personally. The only real benefit your anonymity had was that I had a whole lot of fun writing this, and I only hope that’s its been fun for you to read as well.

Thank you!