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About a boy and girl who can't decide what they want.
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It was late afternoon and the roads were unaturally quiet. I was sat on a small wooden bench on the corner of my street. I glanced at my watch. He was late, as always and i begin to think back to the last time i spoke to him in person... * * * We sat there on the cold bench, surrounded by the silence of the night. Neither of us spoke; lost in our own thoughts as we gazed at the reflection of the lights from across the river. It was happening again. I knew it was coming. I always knew and everytime i wished i didn't. I don't understand why it hurts me so much each time. It's not like we're going out and he's breaking up with me. He says he doesn't mean to hurt me, he never does. But if what he says is true why does he put me through this hell time after time? I look over at him, sitting there so calm after showing so much distres and i wonder how long we'll be apart this time. Thinking these thoughts bring reluctant tears to my eyes and i turn away from him, not wanting him to see my pain. He tentatively places a hand on my knee and softly strokes my hair. "I'm sorry. I don't want to do this..." he says sadly. I remain silent, not trusting myself to speak. "You going to be ok?" he asks. Still i stay quiet. "Please, say something...You know i don't want to hurt you." he begs. I turn to look at him, "It's too late for apologies, the damage is done. If you really didn't want to hurt me, you wouldn't have broken your promise not to do this to me again. And in case you were wondering, we're not friends. We never really were, and we never will be." I get up then, and walk away from him and the light, into the darkness trying to erase all thoughts of him from my mind. * * * I mentally kicked myself for agreeing to meet up with him. I was just setting myself up for more heartache in the near future, but i never could resist him. Hearing footsteps, i snap out of my thoughts and look up as a tall figure walks towards me. He looked down at me, and as he stood there with the warm sun on his face, i was surprised to see his dark short hair gel free. I rolled my eyes at his Iron maiden tee and he smiled at me making me catch my breath. "I missed you" he told me as he sat down next to me and i hugged him tightly, too afraid of losing him again. I didn't tell him that, knowing it wouldn't change anything, He tilted my head up to look at him and leaned in for a kiss. I nearly lost all sense and reason as i often do when i'm near him. A car sped past on the main road, the reflected light blinked sleepily at us as we pulled apart. I looked into his blue eyes as he looked into mine. Finally i broke the silence. "You came back..." i said, trying to hide my surprise. "I just needed some time to think" he replied. |