The Invisible Scene

I had been waiting for the right moment to bring up my wish of studying abroad to my mother for days. I wanted to make sure it was the right moment. A moment where she wasn’t upset with me, in a foul mood, or holding sharp objects. I figured now, shopping for jeans at the department store, was as good of a time as any.
“Mom,” I said meekly. “Can I ask you something? Please don’t freak out when I ask this okay?”
“Okay, Lindsey, what is it?”
“Well, see last week there was this study abroad fair at ESU and I went and talked with the guy and I really want to go. I’m thinking either England or Hungary. What about these jeans?” My words came out in a rush and I quickly held up a pair of jeans that to be honest I didn’t really like.
My mom took the jeans from me and set them back on the shelf. “How much would this cost?”
“The same as tuition and room and board at ESU” I said quickly “and I would get a stipend.”
She picked up another pair of jeans and ran a hand over the faded denim. “You really want to do this? You’ve thought about it?”
“Of course I’ve thought about it. It’s all I’ve been thinking about! I’ve talked to a lot of people about it too. Professor Webb. Kathy. Mrs. E.
“Yes, of course you’ve told them before me” my mother says “try these on.”
I take the jeans from her. “The point isn’t who I’ve talked to about this. The point is studying abroad is something I want to do. I finally have an opportunity to do so at a very cheap price and all you do is be miffed because I told a couple of teachers my dream before I told you? Did you ever stop to consider maybe there is a reason why I tell my teachers before I tell you?”
My mom looks at me shocked. I stalk off to the dressing room and try on the jeans. They are too big. When I come back out I have regained some of my composure, but my mother still looks upset.
She takes a seat in a chair by the dressing rooms and looks me over. “Lindsey,” she says “I’m not angry that you told others first. I just…well…see it’s hard for me to think about you being gone. All the stuff you would miss. Holidays and all that and I worry about you. I’m a mom you know.”
Her famous line “yeah, mom, heard you say that a million times I think I know. These jeans were too big by the way.”
My mom takes the jeans and sets them aside. “You’ve grown to be so independent and I’m really proud of you for that. You have a lot of big dreams and you’re not afraid of chasing them. ESU has been really good to you in that respect. I know you were upset after China was cancelled, but maybe that was God’s way of saying he had something bigger and better in store for you.”
“Are you saying I can go?” I ask browsing the rack of jeans by my mother’s chair.
“We’ll have to talk with your father, but if he says it’s all right I guess I’ll have to go with it. Do you see any other jeans you would like to try on?”
I pull a pair of Silvers off the rack. “These” I say.
“Well, go try them on.”
I start to head for the dressing room, but I stop and turn around. “Thanks mom” I say softly.
My mother doesn’t respond only nods and shoos me off to try on the jeans.