Habitual Offender

Habitual Offender
By
Rod Emmons

Today, I want to comment on habits.  It has been said, people are creatures of habit.  We all have them, some good, some bad, but regardless of their nature, we are all habitual to one degree or another.  I have a friend who is this way.  I, on the other hand, try not to be.

My friend gets up every day at the same time, eats the same breakfast, drives to work the same way, leaves at the same time, takes the same late afternoon nap, drives to the same bar, drinks the same drinks, plays the same gambling machines, eats the same dinner, goes home the same way at the same time, then goes to bed … same bed.  He does this five days a week.  He buys groceries on Friday.  On Saturday and Sunday, his routine is just as monotonous … golf, lunch, nap, then back to the same bar. The other day, he said, “You know, I think I’m in a rut.”  Do you think?

We are both single … and past middle age, he in his late fifties and me in my early (soon to be mid) sixties.  And he wonders if he’s in a rut.

I’m not like him.  Some days, I purposely go into work later than normal.  My job is such that I can do this.  Occasionally, I’ll also take a different way home … different streets, different neighborhoods … just to break the monotony.  Randomly, instead of going home after work, I’ll head to town, buy a late lunch, have a few beers, maybe even shop (although I’d usually rather take poison).  I might even hit a sports bar and watch some re-run of an old NFL game. Even if it’s a game I’ve seen a hundred times before, it breaks the monotony of what could be my otherwise potentially boring life.

When I do go home, I like to watch movies.  I have every movie channel available.  I also own about 250 videos.  Even so, within a month I’ve seen so many, I find myself watching the same ones again.  When I catch this happening, to avoid a rut, I immediately start watching anything else that catches my eye … The History Channel, The Discovery Channel, The Science Channel … and when I’ve worn these out, it’s the Food Network (damn, that blonde who cooks “semi-homemade” is good looking! … and is she a drinker!) or Bravo (Kathy Griffin ain’t bad, either).  Anything … anything to avoid monotony!

Unlike my friend, on my weekends I like to bar hop.  It has to do with my fetish for women … I like them … and I can usually find them there.  I can find them at the grocery store, too, and someone even suggested there are women at church.  But I prefer the bars where inhibition is in constant danger.  And I don’t have just one bar I frequent.  There are several … a tiki bar, another outdoor bar where live music and dancing exist, a Martini bar in the heart of downtown … three or four places to choose from so that no one night is routine.

On any given Sunday, I may go to the beach.  Or I may go to one of those bars.  Or I may stay home and watch a game or a movie.  Variety: That’s my Mantra. 

I feel bad for my friend, stuck in his rut.  He’s the creature of habit I strive not to be.  I tell him all the time, “Be like me; break the mold.”  I tell him, “Look at my life.  There’s no rut here.”

Or is there?  I guess, if I’m honest with myself, my life is also pretty routine.  I just have a few more routines … like a Chinese menu, Column “A,” Column “B,” Column “C.”  Maybe I’m in a rut, too.  It’s just that my rut has a few more grooves.

© Rod Emmons, August 2008