Sweet Contentment

Sweet Contentment

I’ve so often sat and wondered how I could have been so foolish. Oh, it’s been too often. I realize now though, that wondering and speculating can get you no where. It can only hinder you from moving on. For so long the pain was holding me back from my life and robbing me of my joy. But I felt like my joy was gone – it had been taken from me. He had taken away everything good and pure about life. All that stood in my water-pool of survival was mud and bacteria. Questions began to haunt me. How many lies? Or times? I was so polluted, because of him.
I longed to once again see the beauty in life. I wanted to watch the sunset and smile at its magnificence. I wanted to watch the leaves change colors and be reminded of God’s power. I wanted to breathe air and not feel sick. I wanted to think and not have the reoccurring question blaze in my mind like fire; “why couldn’t I move on?”
The wind hit my body, sending shivers that vibrated to the depths of my heart…no it screamed. It said, “Feel me like you once did. I was your vigor. I made you smile. You breathed me in and let me fill your lungs with sweet contentment. I was all you needed and you trusted me…You can trust me.” I felt warmth curl around my soul. It was that voice; the sweet voice of old that allowed me life before…
I could now see!! In horror I saw myself. I was dead! My corpse was lying in my coffin, white and purple. In yet, there still glowed a spark of life. It was that small spark that the wind was trying to light into a fire again. In my half dead brain I realized I was given a second chance at life. The more I lived within my past the more I lost my chance at beginning anew. Just as my mind reached this peak of realization the fire within my soul began to burn. The embers of my past went from cold black to a red glow. They were slowly burning away.
It was at this moment I looked into the sky and for the first time in a long time I smiled at the sunset glow. I inhaled slowly, my eyes closed. In my lungs filled the air, out went my sigh. Not just any sigh – the sigh of sweet contentment.

Psalm 3:5