The First Cut is the Deepest

Many times upon meeting someone you never expect the things this person may bring to you . You dont look into someones eyes and see love , friendship , or heartbreak . It was a day like any other , i was working and was having a long day . All that seemd to run through my mind that day was a boy i worked with . Very unpleasent person who seemd determined to get what he needed and leave . I was only sixteen and was blind to this at first . So my day was very rough. Until a family came in to eat . One girl , three boys , and some kids of a youger age . Upon their arrival i noticed one boy tall , dark , and a dainty smile . I continued to work minding my own business as if i didnt see that the whole table was watching my every move . Finally Before walking to the back i heard someone call out to me " Hey come here real fast " . I walked over Very embarassed considering how i looked . Black shirt , black pants , Black hat and shoes . One of the boys asked " Can my friend have your number " . I looked around the tabel looking at which one of them he would be asking for knowing which one i really wanted it to be . To my delight it was the very handsome young man who had caught my eye to begin with . Without thinking who this boy was i wrote down my number . Thinking this boy is way too cute hes not gonna call anytime soon. To my surprise after work just as i walked in the door the phone rang . ONCE ! TWICE ! I thought "should i answer it " ? I answerd the phone and no one Spoke . Of course i hung up . Again the phone rang and i picked up right away . " Is Andrea There " he said . Shocked as i was i answered "yes" . We spoke for about an hour . I got to know things that were quiet intresting about this boy. I already had thought to myself i want to no more . For the best couple of days we talked every night for about 2-3 hours on the phone . Then he asked if i wanted to hangout . I was bummed that he asked when he did becasue i had to work . But i thought there may or maynot ever be another oppertunity to do this . I told him i would call in sick and he could come over . I felt guilty lieing to my work but it was all worth it in the end. Having the parents i do of course they wanted to meet him . And he could come over but he wasnt allowed in my room and no kissing . I laughed at the thought but then thought if it would come to that . Im sure he was quiet nevous upon arriving . I no i was couldnt think of what to wear or how to do my hair . It felt like an endless wait for him to arrive but he did . And to this day i'll never forget how handsome he looked , or the feeling i got when i answered the door . Before we could enter the living room my mother and father walked in . I saw how surprised he looked and the tension in the room built . My dad was very unpleasent with the thought of his little girl with aboy so he was like many dads when meeting the "Boy " . My mom on the other hand was ecstatic to see her little girl with a boy . Thank god the worst part was over with but now getting comfterable with him was another mountain i began to climb and soon it became another hill i could walk over . We were watching Harry Potter and laughing and talking . He wanted to know things about me and vise versa . I learned things that i was sure my parents werent gonna like . But that simply did not matter to me . And he was astonished to see how different i was fromt he other girls he had known . We had grown up in two different worlds he was from the eastside and me the south . And in our city it really did make a difference . It was still a little stiff between us and we needed something to break the ice . I wasnt wearing any shoes or socks and he noticed my nail polish and asked if he could apint them . With most guys i new i would be like no thank you thats weird . But i couldnt help but giggle and agree . It was so fun . After finishing my nails he kept making a slite attempt to hold my hand and i just tingled inside thinking he must like me in some way . Finaly he grabed my hand and i put my head on his shoulders . it was so sweet i never felt this way and was scared that  maybe i was feeling to much to soon . Our faces were so close and our lips just teasing one another neither of us making the first move , Probably to nervous . I didnt think about it or hesitate i just turned to the side and kissed him . Somewhere in the midst of kissing him we both laughed and and probably both though " Did she just do that " . Then he laughed and told me he was glad i did because thats what he wanted . Sparks !!!!!!! I could feel somewhere way beyond my heart a feeling i  never felt before . the Kissing and cuddling continued . It was very seductive and dangerous as my parents had made it very clear to me to begin with no kissing . My dad just happened to walk by and saw us cuddling . I didnt see him but moments later he called me over . I was lectured about how to be with a boy on the first date . But it went in one ear and out of the other . I new what i was feeling and could careless what my parents were telling me . Our time was up and he had to go . I gave him a kiss goodbye and shut the door as he left . I couldve cried tears of joy becasue i have never had so much fun with a boy that didnt include me having to keep my guard up constantly . My parents didnt say much that night and i knew something was wrong with what had happened . My dad being a police officer later told me he had checked his record and without explit detail told me i was not to see or talk to him . I contiplated my descion but in the back of my mind i wasnt gonna let this boy pass me by . Later that night he called and we spoke . And he told me he felt i was different and wanted to be with me , I didnt think twice of my parents words and agreed i had felt the same . Now i think back and wonder if i didnt act on impulse that maybe i wouldnt be crying for reasons the are oblivious to me and others . But then i was happy to have my first boyfriend . As i know we all wish we did we dont think how our heart may end up or how our fututre may be with a significant other . My relationship continued and i was happy and without even knowing people knew and would ask " Whats his name " . I didnt think it but i most have been glowing all the time , because even my parents suspected  i wasnt happy for no apparent reason . Without total detail the next couple of weeks were wonderful that i couldnt put into words how happy i was . He became my bestfriend . I couldve told him anything and always got a sinsere reaction or if i didnt he always listened . Then things got rocky , as every relationship has its rollercoaster moments . There was a period of time where i wasnt going to be able to see him and without telling him why it continued for about 3 days . He got sick of it and told me he just wanted to be friends . It hurt and i was sad but i didnt think much of it and cried only alittle . I thought maybe he will call tomorrow i will let him cool . I left out of town the next day and never got a phone call those four days . And just when i thought that it was really over and done the phone rang . It was a different area code and i almost didnt answer but i did on intuition . It was my " friend " . i was curious why he was calling from this number and he told me he had gone to austin . I was relieved to hear he was just visiting . We talked but it was very awkward he was very upset and almost heartless to the fact that i was hurt by being just friends . And he really only wanted to tell me how upset he was and then never talk again . Instead we talked for hours when he finally said he didnt really wanna break up it was because of me that he was mad and wasnt thinking how much he really would miss me . It seems like things were better the second time around . We opened up even more and our relationship was at its all time high . I was ready to give him something of mine he could keep . Besides my heart or silly gifts i thought i was ready . He told me that we were both ready but it wasnt the time and it wasnt just right yet and maybe we should prove our love in another way besides physical affection . Never had i heard that from a guy and was shocked and was more than willing to wait . The weeks went by and he was right we didnt need to have sex to have fun or prove that we really did care for eachother . When we first began talking i told him my favorite place in our hometown and that i always wanted a boy to take me there at night because it was beautiful . Not thinking he remembered he promised he would take me . The next night i had to babysit and i didnt get a chance to call him because i had fallen asleep when i arrived at home . The next two days it was like cat and mouse with our phone calls because we were both busy . And it must have been very upseting to him and he didnt call all week . And just like that we havent spoken . With unresolved feelings and nothing to say . Offically we didnt break up but sadly it ended how we both wanted it not to . I havent eaten much or slept in the past few days . Things he said things we did flash in my head and it drives me crazy . Maybe becasue for the first time i was happy and felt beautiful . I wasnt in love but like he had told me fell madly in like with him . Silly but it was something that stayed with me . Everytime the phone rings i pray its him . But with all the pride in one mans life i new he would not be calling me back . Should i take the initiative and call him or let it go and move on . I dont need a broken heart during school but i cant help but feel what i do . It seems like everytime i turn on the radio a song that we loved or reminded us of eachother was playing . I would laugh and think of him and in seconds feel the tears fighting to break through and i try and try to fight them but i just cant . Sill things play in my head and i feel liek someone has ripped out the best thing that has ever happend to me and stepped all over it . If i could call him right now i would tell him everything i feel that i never told him before . Maybe what bothers me so much is that if we dont talk there will be things that neither of us will know due to unresolved feelings . In the end it was a good ride and if i never speak with him again i know what i learned and i will always remember the things he taught me and always remember us. And it will hurt for a while but the first cut is the deepest